My Pick Up Artist System

*Slap!*

Ben slapped himself to calm down. "Get a hold of yourself! It was just a nightmare!" He dreamed all of his Mystery Boxes opened trash for the next week, 8 days expired, and he was crushed to death by a giant banana peel.

He was nervous that his next lottery would give him trash again, and it even haunted his dreams. He sighed. "There's nothing I can do. I should just focus on accumulating points. I'll get what I get. Even if it's trash, it doesn't mean I'll die. I already have two potential dates."

Before going to sleep, Ben texted Miyuki and pink haired Katie to set up dates with them. Miyuki said she wasn't available for a few days but Katie agreed to meet tomorrow.

When he recalled that, Ben's mood improved. He got out of bed and stretched. Feeling refreshed, Ben decided to open a Mystery Box.

A few minutes later, he was squinting, looking down at a plastic card in his hand.

[Club Rat's Fake ID(Item, Fine) x1]

Ben wasn't sure if he should laugh or cry. It was a fine quality item, and a fake ID would be useful for him, but the photo…

"Why is it Danny DeVito?!?"

The photo was a selfie of Danny DeVito's grimacing head, and not in his youth…very recent. In fact, it looked like it was taken on the toilet yesterday during a bout of constipation.

"Am I supposed to use this? This guy's 75 years old!"

Ben wanted to throw it in the trash but stopped when he read the description.

[Club Rat's Fake ID(Item, Fine) x1 - Guaranteed to be accepted as your ID under certain conditions]

When Ben asked the system, he learned that it would work only at nightlife venues, and no one else could use it.

Ben had to double-check, then triple-check the ID against the text. "Will this really work? There are a lot of problems here…"

The ID said he was 75, bald with gray hair at the temples, and 4 foot 10!

"I'm short, but I'm not 4 foot 10! You couldn't find anyone with a closer resemblance?!?" This damn system was mocking him…

Then when he saw the name…he completely lost it! It said Benny BeVito!

***

After taking deep breaths for a long time, Ben eased his anger. He stared at the ID. If the system hadn't verified it, he wouldn't believe any place would accept this ID.

How would it even function? Would it scramble the brains of anyone who checked it? Otherwise, who would accept that Ben was 75 years old?

He could only sum it up as a magical alchemy item. Only, all alchemy had a price, and the price for using this was his dignity…

Still, as long as it worked, Ben would swallow his pride. His dignity hadn't stopped him from being a virgin for 18 years. So what good was it? Ben would sell his dignity for a booty call!

Also, this fake ID was very helpful to him. One thing that's been troubling Ben is he's had nothing to do at nights. Approaching girls at night wasn't effective since he wouldn't get into anywhere. So he's been wasting precious time.

Many other students had access to parties. They either had fake IDs, pledged fraternities, or had friends with dorms or apartments they partied in. Ben had none of these. So he hadn't been able to make good use of his nights to pick up women. With this ID, that would change!

Ben looked at the time. He'd slept for two hours, making it early evening now. There was still plenty of time to get ready and go out somewhere to test this ID. The only problem was...where should he go?

Ben knew nothing about the nightlife scene in New York. Despite that, after some thought, he knew who might.

His cousin Antonio was 21. He grew up in New York and would know much more about it than Ben so he called him up.

When Antonio heard Ben got his hands on a fake ID, he was speechless at first. It was hard to believe his cousin got his hands on something so useful. Since that was the case, Antonio said something to Ben that was even better than advice; Antonio offered to take him out that night!

Antonio felt it was what he should do as a cousin and friend. He knew the perfect place to take Ben, and it was even near his dorm.

Ben's dorm was only a block from one of Manhattan's famous nightlife areas. So there were many venues in the vicinity. Ben didn't know where Antonio wanted to take him, but he reasoned that his cousin's judgment couldn't be too bad…probably.

They agreed to meet an hour later in front of Ben's dorm, hung up, and got ready.

Ben's eyes glowed with excitement! He hadn't been to a party since he was 13, and that was Adam Shwartz's bar mitzvah…

The nightlife scene was opening her slutty legs to him at last!

He looked into the bathroom mirror as he checked his clothes, putting on his best smile. Ben rehearsed expressions and various poses. 'I should go over some lines so I'll be in form when I'm out.'

Looking at his reflection, he put on a confident smirk. "Hey there, what's your name? Oh, interesting name...Me? I'm Benny BeVi…FUUUUUUUU*K!"

That ID even scrambled his brain!

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*Author's Note: New maps emerge! If you like the story, please don't forget to vote with power stones!