Chapter 200 Cold Jiang Yuyan
Chapter 200 Cold Jiang Yuyan
When Lu Qiang walked towards his room, Jiang Yang called him and said, "If you are planning to talk to her now, then let me tell you one thing. She doesn't mean what she says when she is upset or angry." Lu Qiang nodded.
Lu Qiang, Lu Feng and Jiang Yang went to their own rooms. Lu Qiang first freshened up and decided to go to Jiang Yuyan's room. He wondered, she must be back to her room till now and went straight to her room. He knocked on the door. Jiang Yuyan opened the door just to see, Lu Qiang standing in front of her.
Upon seeing him, she didn't know how to react and stood frozen at her place while continuing to stare at him. She felt surprised, happy, sad, emotional and everything at the same moment. Lu Qiang was expecting this reaction from her and said to get her out of a daze, "Can I come inside?"
She shook her head to clear it and said, "No!" She answered. It looked like, she was still angry about how he behaved before. like she didn't exist for him.
"I know you are upset and it is all my fault, so let me explain everything this once." Lu Qiang requested her. He genuinely wanted to explain her everything and to take away her anger, without using the other way which might be more hurting.
"I don't want any kind of explanation from you. just go back to your room. She said and she was about to close the door but Lu Qiang stopped her by holding the door before it closed completely and said, "Let me come inside first or I will stay here until you let me in.
When Jiang Yuyan was about to say okay, Zhi Ruo came back. She looked at both of them and smiled. Jiang Yuyan didn't smile back. She averted her sight from Zhi Ruo and said in a low voice to Lu Qiang, "Your girl is here, go back to her."
Lu Qiang turned his head to look at Zhi Ruo. Zhi Ruo said good night to both of them and went inside the room in a hurry. To look at both of them, she understood, something was not right between them.
Upon seeing her going into the room next to Lu Qiang, expressions on Jiang Yuyan's face changed. She frowned and walked inside her room by keeping the door open. Lu Qiang went inside and closed the door.
Jiang Yuyan was standing near her bed while facing her back to him. Lu Qiang stood behind her at a distance and spoke, "Truth is not what you saw or what you are thinking. I want….."
"I don't care Lu Qiang. No need to explain anything. You are free to do what you want to. You don't have to feel pressurized just because you thought you loved me. Anyhow, I never said I love you so you don't have to feel worried that you will hurt me." Jiang Yuyan said while still facing her back to him.
Lu Qiang sighed and said, "You don't have to confess it because I already know, you love me."
"No Lu Qiang, I don't. so feel free to move ahead. I don't mind it." Again she said it which hurt Lu Qiang.
Lu Qiang stepped in her direction, turned her to face her towards him. He looked into her eyes and asked, "You really don't love me?"
"No! I don't love you," she replied while looking back into his eyes without hesitating for a single moment.
Lu Qiang didn't think for a bit and kissed her, but this time there was no response from her. He was kissing her but she was just letting him kiss without resisting him. She was not kissing him back.
Lu Qiang realized it. He parted away, held her face in his palms and said again, "I know you are angry Yuyan but let me explain first. I don't want all this, I want you."
Jiang Yuyan didn't look affected by his words and replied looking into his eyes, "I can't give you anything but that girl can. I didn't even let you touch my chest yet, even though we were close so many times. I know how disappointed you must be feeling with me and I am not sure, if I would let you do anything more with me ever as you know, how my body reacts whenever you tried to go ahead."
Lu Qiang listened to everything she wanted to say. He felt sad to hear it as going closer to her was not his main intention ever and if she wanted, he was ready to stay away from her always, but what she was thinking right at the moment was not right.
"Yuyan! I don't want that. I am not disappointed in you either. I just want you to be with me by my side." He replied with sadness on his face as he felt hurt to hear her words.
"But I don't want you to be unhappy, for your whole life just because of my personal issues. So you are free to go," She replied without blinking an eye and standing still with his palms still holding her face.
Upon hearing her words, Lu Qiang shuddered in a fear to lose her. He felt like, his heart might stop beating. He was cursing himself for not trying to meet her or call her in the past few days. He was cursing himself for not looking at her even once and wondered why he didn't hug her the moment he saw her. He was cursing himself for all those things he did intentionally or unintentionally that hurt her.
"I don't want to, Yuyan. Just listen to me at least once." The man who never bent down in front of anyone even in the worst condition, he was now ready to beg to his woman.
He hugged her but she didn't hug him back and stood frozen in her place. Lu Qiang realized it and asked while still hugging her, "So you don't love me?"
"Hmm! I don't." Jiang Yuyan replied coldly, still standing frozen in his embrace.
"You don't care if you see me with someone else?" He asked again.
"Hmm! I don't." Jiang Yuyan replied in the same way again.
Lu Qiang moved his head back and looked at her in her eyes. She looked back in his eyes too as she didn't have any regret about what she said just now.
Lu Qiang let go of her and stepped back. He was looking at her with his miserable eyes but she looked determined about what she just said and didn't change a bit, even if she saw him like this. Lu Qiang didn't know what to do at the moment. He was ready with his second plan before if she won't listen to him but when the situation arose, he was hurt and didn't want to do anything.
For a moment he felt lost but knew, he can't give up and he had to make her realize how much she loved him and she can't live without him. The man who had gone through all kinds of hardship against the world looked helpless in front of a woman he loved. He took a deep breath and left the room without saying a word.
Jiang Yuyan who was standing with the determination to do exactly what she said the moment before, broke into tears once Lu Qiang left her room. When she saw Zhi Ruo all this time with Lu Qiang, she felt jealous but she never thought to do something like this. As time passed by, she started to see lacking things in her. The one, she found was the fact that she was still reluctant to get touched by him on her chest. She thought she might never let him do anything more. All this time, she was relaxed to think, she would be fine with all the love she got from Lu Qiang but now, for her it was a lie with which she was trying to fool herself.
Since Jiang Yuyan saw Zhi Ruo, she felt afraid about herself and thought she should not keep him waiting for her and make him suffer because of her own fears from the past. She thought he deserved to get all those things which she might not give him.