Chapter 1236 - Is She Gone?
Lu Lian returned to the room after having a bath. Ming Rusheng looked at her but acted as if he didn't notice her and closed his eyes back. Lu Lian went towards him and fixed the blanket for him and checked the humidifier and the temperature in the room.
"If you feel cold, let me know," she said and he didn't react. Lu Lian was getting used to this one-sided conversion where only she talked while Ming Rusheng hardly reacted.
Just then the doctor Hao arrived as it was the evening round for him to check on Ming Rusheng.
"Good evening, doctor Hao," Lu Lian greeted while Ming Rusheng opened his eyes to look at him.
"How are you feeling, Mr. Ming?" the doctor asked as he looked into his chart.
"I am fine but when can I go home?" Ming Rusheng asked.
"Your recovery is good and now you can do all the normal activities like walking on your own and almost everything. Only minor problems remain as you are yet to regain complete memories ...."
"I remember everything, doctor," Ming Rusheng interrupted.
"Oh, are you sure? If that's the case, then we will get final tests done and…"
"Wait a minute, doctor," Lu Lian said, and as she looked at Ming Rusheng, "Can you tell me when was the first time we kissed?"
Ming Rusheng looked at her in disbelief while the two doctors and the nurses could only smile and waited for Ming Rusheng's answers.
Getting back to his senses, Ming Rusheng looked back at the doctor, "I might not remember a few things that never happened or those are not important to me. That doesn't mean my brain is not fine. Not just my brain, but my body seems fit too. I can even run now."
"Well! Normally we don't have to keep patients here for this long but your surgery was a critical one and we needed to ensure everything was going fine by monitoring you frequently as you are the VIP patient here and your family insisted." The doctor looked at Lu Lian, "Also, Ms. Lu had threatened the entire neurology department to not make any mistake."
"Then when can I go?" Ming Rusheng asked, ignoring what the doctor had said. All he wanted was to return home.
"We had already planned to discharge you in the next two days. Rest assured. We can continue your other therapies from home and you have to follow certain things that we will instruct you."
"I want to go today," Ming Rusheng insisted.
"You didn't answer my question yet," Lu Lain said as she calmly looked at him.
"Doesn't seem important for me to remember," he countered.
Seeing the two in an arguing mood, the doctor interrupted, "Mr. Ming, it's a night. I will make sure to discharge you tomorrow."
Ming Rusheng nodded and the doctor left after doing his examination.
Once the door was closed, Lu Lian went to Ming Rusheng and looked at him who sat quietly while leaning back at the bed.
"What?" he asked.
Not answering him, Lu Lian leaned down while resting her one hand at the backrest of the bed just above his shoulder and the other hand rested in the bed where he sat as she kissed him.
Ming Rusheng didn't expect this and was left stunned as she continued to suck and nibble his lips though he didn't respond. In a while, she parted away and asked as she stared into his shocked-looking eyes, "Do you remember now when we kissed for the first time?"
With his heart beating faster, he gulped and stared back at her calm-looking eyes as he couldn't guess what she was thinking at the moment. Even though he ignored her all the time as if she didn't exist around him, she was always calm and her eyes were always devoid of any such emotions that could show she was frustrated or annoyed. But she was always so calm, whatever he did. Why? He couldn't understand why. It was so difficult to affect her with anything.
She moved back and went to sit on the couch as she pulled out her laptop from the bag and said, "I am doing some work. If you need something you can tell me."
Ming Rusheng didn't answer and sat quietly. They had dinner without talking much and Lu Lian took him out for a small walk where both had put on warm clothes and walked in the long and empty corridor towards the gallery at one end.
"It's cold outside. It won't be good for you to go there this late when it's much colder," she instructed.
"It's fine," he said and continued to walk towards the gallery.
Just as they reached the gallery, Lu Lian turned to face him. She tiptoed and fixed his winter hat that covered his ears too while Ming Rusheng let her do it. She observed his clothes to check if everything was fine with his winter coat, hand glows, and scarf.
Ming Rusheng observed the worried woman and moved his hand to fix her misplaced scarf around the neck, "You should care for yourself more."
"I am fine," she said, only to hear him say, "So do I?"
She looked him in the eyes and could see that old Ming Rusheng who she missed. It was the same look in his eyes, the way he always looked at her. 'Is it my illusion? But he doesn't remember me.'
Ming Rusheng continued to fix her cap and said, "Once I am discharged, you don't need to trouble yourself for taking care of me. I know you must feel indebted to me so you are doing this all, but trust me there is no need. From tomorrow, I will be busy with my life and you should be busy with yours. Don't waste your time on me."
Lu Lian's eyes turned watery. The entire month she maintained herself calm and composed and never let it show on her face that how hurt she felt to see the man who she loved and the one who loved her, didn't remember anything between them.
"Do you really not remember anything?" She asked.
He shook his head. "It may be because there is nothing important that I should remember. You work in my office and some instances must be there when you must have ended up feeling good about me but that's not what you think. If I was the same, I would have remembered it for sure."
What could be so hurting for her to hear from him. He forgot everything. Tears rolled down her eyes and Ming Rusheng wiped it. "I can see you are a nice woman and I know you will get someone that you truly deserve. Just don't be burdened with how I saved your life. It is literally nothing."
Nodding lightly, Lu Lian exhaled and turned to look at the city ahead that was covered in snow while Ming Rusheng stood next to her.
Few moments passed by and Lu Lian spoke, "How about we start over again?"
This surprised Ming Rushend and she spoke again, "If you don't remember all those important memories then we can start again. We can give one more chance to each other and then you can decide. We have hurt each other and it's good you don't remember it. Maybe it is for good so we can start fresh. Before I wanted to go away from you but now I will never even think about it."
Ming Rusheng spoke, after taking a short pause, "You wanted to get away from me, that means I must have hurt you a lot. As I don't remember it, it's a good chance for you to go away from me. Just don't be stuck due to this accident. Live your life."
"I can't.... without you."
"If you had already planned to go away, that means you were ready to do it. You can do it again. Nothing is impossible," he added, not knowing how it will hurt her.
She finally turned to look at him and finally he could see the anger in her eyes which carried only calmness for a month. "When you were lying lifelessly there, I realized I can't be without you. I even told you, if you push me away, I will never go away."
There was no effect on him and he said, "This is what I meant all the time. You felt guilty seeing me there and changed your decision. Don't feel guilty or indebted. Just do what you were about to do."
"I just know I can't be without you," she said and tears rolled down her eyes. Whatever she tried to say, he just couldn't understand her.
"You will be fine once I go to my home and you go to yours. Seeing me every day will only make you feel indebted to me," he said.
Crying she lowered her head and shook it, "You can't understand. Why do you have to forget me only?"
"Maybe it meant nothing as much to me as what it meant to you. This can be the only reason.
Lu Lian didn't stop crying and said, "We should go inside. It's cold."
"You go. I will be back soon."
Ming Rusheng couldn't let her be in cold and said, "Do you want a patient to walk alone for that long?"
Lu Lian couldn't argue with him and turned to leave. They walked back silently into the room. Lu Lian helped him cover with the blanket and turned off the lights.
"Good night." Saying only this much, she straightaway went to the couch and slept while facing her back to him.
She was sure she wouldn't be able to hold back her tears for long and didn't want Ming Rusheng to see her.
In the dim light of the room, Ming Rusheng could see her back facing him. Though she was away from him, he could feel she was not fine and continued to look at her. Maybe she was still crying. Soon he drifted to sleep as medicines made his eyes feel heavy.
The next morning when Ming Rusheng woke up, he saw the couch was empty and looked here and there. There was no sound coming from the bathroom so he was sure she was not there. It was already nine o'clock and he realized he slept till late like always and she must have gone to the office. But, it was Saturday, then? The bag Lu Lian brought with her the previous day was not there either. He felt disappointed and wanted to look for her but just then the doctor entered the room.
"Good Morning, Mr. Ming."
"Good Morning."
"In half an hour, the nurse will take you for one last test. Once its result is out, we will discharge you after finishing the document work.
Ming Rusheng only nodded as he was busy with other thoughts. Whenever he had to go for any test, Lu Lian was always with him but today she didn't seem to be present.
'Is she gone because of what we talked about last night?'