503 Mistaking As Esther
Theron didn’t see Drayce leaving with his grandmother, but he didn’t need to see it with his own eyes to know they were no longer in the Grand Palace. Knowing his mother’s temper, she wouldn’t even delay for an hour to bring the little prince to her own residence.
‘They probably left now…’
Once again, Theron felt the pain of loss— he had failed his son, the only one that belonged to his beloved.
Though it was his own decision to send Drayce away, it hurt him the same way when Esther left him.
The next few days passed by in a blur for the King. During the day, Theron would carry out his royal duties to the kingdom, and at night, he would drown himself in alcohol. His health was already not fine due to the month-long expedition he spent searching for his wife and now it had started to deteriorate due to him neglecting his well-being.
One day, he was found passed out inside his study. Sir Galien even had to call for the royal physicians to attend to him.
This news worried his First and Second Concubines, but his third one, Lady Saira, was more worried that this would further lower her chances of getting the King’s permission to visit Drayce. She was merely his concubine in name, and had no affection for him. In fact, it wouldn’t even be weird for her to feel bitterness to be left sitting idle in the Vermilion Palace.
However, after he regained consciousness, Theron had declined the visits from his concubine who wanted to check on their husband.
That night when Theron had retired in his chamber as usual, despite being stopped by the knights, the First Concubine, Lady Clarisa, insisted on gaining entry.
She raised her voice at the knights. “You dare stop me? His Majesty is not fine. Though he says that he doesn’t want to see anyone, I am his wife and it’s my duty to look after him when he is not feeling well.”
“Lady Clarisa, please—”
“Stop blocking my way.”
“Your Ladyship, we cannot let you in. Please understand this is His Majesty’s direct order.”
“His Majesty’s health, will you take responsibility? I am a member of the royal family, the mother of the First Prince, and the one in charge of the royal harem! If you dare stop me once again from doing my responsibilities to my husband, I will make sure you will be punished accordingly!”
These knights had sworn absolute loyalty to the King, but they were feeling torn between following their liege’s order and putting his wellbeing at the forefront.
Seeing the hesitation on their faces, Lady Clarisa decided to persuade them softly, “Let me go inside. We are both just doing our duties. You will not be faulted for letting me enter. After I visit my husband, I will accept the punishment he will give me for intruding.”
After a couple more attempts, the knights finally gave up as they knew the King was truly not in the right state of mind after the Queen left. They too no longer wanted the King to continue suffering on his own. Even though they were disobeying his order, Lady Clarisa’s presence might change something for the better.
Lady Clarisa went to the King’s chamber where she found his personal servant standing outside the chamber. The First Concubine gestured for him to stay down and she herself held the knob of the door.
“Is my husband asleep?”
The servant looked downcasted. “H-His Majesty is drinking again…I’m sorry, my lady. I wish to stop him but…”
Seeing the concern on the servant’s face, Lady Clarisa felt her heart clench, but she realized too late that she wasn’t ready to witness the pitiful sight of her husband inside.
With the help of the dim light within the chamber, she found her husband sitting haphazardly on the floor, resting his back at the footrest of the bed while holding a liquor bottle. His face was sickly thin, and though his eyes were closed, tears continued to silently roll down them.
His second wife walked towards him and kneeled next to him with her pretty face marred with worry. “Your Majesty?”
He didn’t reply to her. She wanted to help him up, to at least put him to bed, but he’s too heavy for her. Seeing him stir awake, she continued to speak with a gentle voice, “You are not well. Why are you drinking so much? Let me help you go to bed, alright, Your Majesty? Please get up…”
He didn’t seem to hear her, much less realize that someone was even sitting next to him. He moved the alcohol bottle once again to his lips, but a delicate hand stopped him from drinking.
“You should stop, Your Majesty.”
Theron looked at the hand that held his wrist and then looked at the brazen woman who dared stop him.
Lady Clarisa gulped as she knew she would have to face his anger, but she was determined to not back away. How could she just let her husband harm himself? “Your Majesty, apologies but—”
“Esther? You came back?”
Lady Clarisa felt like she swallowed a bunch of thorns upon seeing the silly smile on his drunk face.
‘He is still thinking about her even though she left him without even thinking about our husband. That ungrateful woman doesn’t know how much he loves her! She doesn’t deserve his love!’
The tender look in his dark eyes made her jealousy rear its ugly head.
“Esther, I knew you would come back to me,” Theron said as he looked at the woman trying to help him back to bed. A painfully happy smile appeared on his lips as he rejoiced at the sight of his missing wife.
“Your Majesty, I am Clarisa—”
“I missed you!”
It was as if Theron didn’t hear her at all, lost in his own delusional world. He moved closer to her and hugged her. It startled Lady Clarisa and she didn’t know what to do.
“I..am not…” But this was the first time her husband ever initiated intimate contact for years. His warmth and manly scent mixed with the smell of alcohol-intoxicated her.
“I have always believed that you can’t stay away from me for long.” He rested his head on her shoulder as his tears started to drench her dress. “I missed you, Esther. Please don’t ever leave again. Promise me…I need you…I need you…”
Lady Clarisa felt bittersweet, but she steeled her resolve. Though it hurts, she’d let him think she was her if this would comfort him even if it was just for a while till his condition improves.
She hesitantly moved her arms to wrap them around his trembling body.
Theron hugged her even tighter, too drunk to be able to differentiate between his main wife and his concubine. The joy of having his wish for their reunion fulfilled, he could think of nothing else. The thought of having her by his side was enough to blind him completely in his euphoric state.
“Esther…” He moved his head back and looked at her. His half-lidded eyes showed him only the smiling face of his wife which was what he wished to see the most. He smiled back at her. “Esther.”
It hurt Lady Clarisa that the warm and loving smile on her husband’s face was directed at her, but it was not meant for her. He had never smiled at her this way—perhaps, it would be more correct to say that he never even looked at her with affection.
‘I cannot do this anymore.’ Her resolve cracked. Her eyes turned teary and wanted to correct her husband. “I am not Esther. I am—”
But Theron’s hand caressed her cheek with a touch so gentle, that she seemingly forgot what she was about to say. Before she realized what was happening, his face had already moved close to her. Her mind buzzed with their closeness, and the way he looked at her so feverishly made her lose strength in her limbs…
He whispered his beloved wife’s name once again, “Esther,” before kissing her gently.
Lady Clarisa’s body stiffened as it was the first time her husband kissed her like this. Though they had spent the night together, it was solely to have a child. He had never kissed her so tenderly, and neither had he shown any sweet gestures to her.
She should be happy she got to experience this, but…. in his eyes, she was someone else. Was that really something to be happy about?
Tears rolled down her eyes as she let him kiss her. He expected more than just a kiss and pulled her closer. She wanted to tell him that she was not the woman he desired, but the drunk man didn’t listen to her—no, at this point, her efforts to tell him the truth was pathetically weak.
Though he had mistaken her for Esther, she wanted to be selfish for once and experience how it felt to be truly loved by her husband.
In the end, she gave in to him.
When Theron woke up in his bed the next morning, he found someone lying next to him. For a moment, he thought it was Esther but then when he saw her face, the small hope in his heart left a gaping wound. It shocked him to see his concubine in his bed, but no matter how much he tried to recall what happened the night before, his memories were too blurry and fragmented to be of use.
He immediately stepped out of the bed and put on his robe. With this sudden movement, Lady Clarisa woke up and saw her husband standing by the bed in his sleeping robe. Realization hit her, and now, she knew she had to be ready to face the wrath of her husband.
The brown-haired beauty slowly sat in bed while covering her naked body with the blanket, her heart beating wildly in her chest.
Theron turned to look at her, his dark eyes were cold. “What are you doing here?”
“Y-Your Majesty…last night, I came to visit you because I heard you collapsed…and you were drunk…” She didn’t know how to properly explain what happened. Her entire body could only shiver in fright.
Theron closed his eyes briefly to control his anger and then scowled, “This is the last time you will step inside my chamber. The next time it happens, I will banish you from the royal palace.”
With her head lowered and eyes teary, Lady Clarisa nodded.
“Wear your clothes and leave at once,” was all he said before going to his side chamber to wash himself.
Lady Clarisa expected this. Yes, she didn’t expect anything different from this once the King regained his senses and learned of her identity. She expected, but…but like a silly little girl, she still hoped from the bottom of her heart that maybe there was a chance.
‘If only I were Esther…’
She wiped her tears, wore her clothes, corrected her appearance and left the King’s residence.