Volume 1 - Chapter 2 – Accidental Rebirth
It was impossible for me to have heard Zhao Yanyan’s words, because I was already dead, in other words Ge pi le.
When I awoke again, I found myself inside a large palace. It looked like those royal palaces that you could often see in TV shows based on the Qing dynasty, but it also had a pretty eerie atmosphere.
Right in front of me, was a humorous looking old person that said there thinking that he was very dignified, beside them were two unique looking people that seemed to be some sort of judge. Above the three of them was a large plaque, on it was three large characters —— Yama Palace.
Ugh, you can’t be serious. My first reaction was that if this was a TV show shooting? Seeing the scene, it should be a horror one, but based on what those three people were wearing it seemed like a comedy. I couldn’t help but sigh, there are too many third rated directors now!
As my thoughts wandered, the funny old man in the middle slapped the table in anger and stared, “Who is the one down there, why are you not kneeling in front of Yama?”
I momentarily blanked, they probably treated me as a part-time actor. I shouted, “Hey, old man, you found the wrong people right? I don’t want to act!”
Hearing me say these words, those three also momentarily blanked, Judge A on the side muttered to himself, “His grandmother, this person can’t also have mental issues right?”
Judge B took out the Life and Death Note, but couldn’t find anything all of a sudden, so he said in surprise, “Something’s wrong, there shouldn’t be anyone dying right now, who is the person down there?”
The funny old man slapped the table again and said, “The person down there, you’re already dead! Give me your name quickly, so I – Yama – can organize your reincarnation!”
I died?? How did I die? I suddenly remembered, that’s right, I’m dead. After I overdosed in alcohol on Zhao Yanyan’s wedding, then died after the rescue failed I found myself here.
It seems like I am actually dead. Fuck, I’ve been an utter failure this life, in the first half of my life I was just struggling, then I died without tasting love. This made me remember a classic quote from a very old movie: There was once sincere feelings in front of me, I didn’t treasure it, and only couldn’t regret after losing it, that is the most painful thing in a human’s life. If god would give me another chance, then I would tell the girl three words “I love you”, if I had to add a limit to this love, I hope it is: ten thousand years.
That old bro Yama said that I could reincarnate? That means I still have a chance to taste love, in my next life I will not let any of the women I love go! I thought so angrily.
That’s why I said to Yama, “Old bro Yama, I’m called Liu Lei, help me organize my reincarnation quickly!”
Yama angrily replied, “Screw off! Who in your grandmother’s name is your old bro, I am even older than your ancestors!”
After many years of experience in the business industry I understood how to flatter people, I knew that if I wanted Yama to organize my reincarnation in a good family, then I have to kiss this old man’s ass. I laughed, “I just meant that old bro looks so young, so energetic looking, if you didn’t tell me, I definitely couldn’t tell how old you are! Look, when I walked in, I thought it was a TV show shooting, that’s why I begun to think, where did the director find an actor as handsome as you, you’re so much more handsome compared to Chow Yun-fat and Andy Lau!” Saying this, I thought, Yama probably haven’t seen Chow Yun-fat and Andy Lau, so I immediately added, “So much more handsome than that brat Pan An!”
Hearing my words, Yama’s expression filled with delight, and turned his face filled with creases towards Judge A and asked, “Do I really look so young?”
That Judge A was probably used to flattering him, and replied without much thought, “Congratulations Yama, congratulations Yama, you are top tier among ghosts, more handsome than anyone!”
Yama laughed happily after hearing so, and said kindly to me, “What’s your name again? Oh right, it’s Liu Lei, You are like my best friend! This king will accept you as my little brother! Don’t worry little bro, I’ll definitely organize a good family for you!”
I quickly thanked him, my heart was filled with joy, my ploy worked!
Yama said to Judge B, “Find out life and death times of my little bro!”
After searching for a while, Judge B’s face was filled with incredible emotions, he said surprisingly, “Yama, look, your stepbrother has a life of hundred and eighty years, he couldn’t have died now!”
Hearing that, Yama took over the Life and Death Note seriously, after a long time, he slapped the table while clenching his teeth and yelled to outside the palace, “Shit, which blind xiaogui brought my little bro here?”
After a while, a xiaogui walked over in fear and immediately fell onto the floor after seeing Yama, “Please don’t be angry, Yama, this lowly one, this lowly one had coincidentally passed by the hospital, and seeing this brat, no your little brother was about to die, so I conveniently took him here!”
Ah? Hearing that I was mistakenly brought here, I was completely speechless. I’m way too unlucky, I though this kind of mistaken arrest only happened in the world of the living, I didn’t think the world of the dead was this dark as well.
Yama shouted angrily, “Fuck this, are your eyes growing from your ass? You caused an incident when there isn’t any! This Life and Death Note clearly says, my little bro would have an incident, but it didn’t say he’ll die! Someone come and boil him into the oil wok, and never allow him to reincarnate!”
Several odd looking people… Actually, ghosts instantly arrived, and took the xiaogui away.
I was uninterested about what would happen to that xiaogui, I just wanted to reincarnate quickly, I said to Yama, “Old bro, can’t you organize little bro to reincarnate first?”
Yama replied with a sour look, “Little bro, it’s not that old bro not organizing it for you. Rather, it’s because you were brought here by that blind idiot before your life was used up, so —— ai, there’s nothing I can do!”
My heart was instantly frozen, but I still asked persistently, “I can’t be the only on who died because of an accident right? What about them?”
Yama replied, “Those people? They are just random ghosts that spend the days wandering around in the underworld, waiting for their lives to be used up so they can reincarnate.”
I was unwilling to give up, “Since I was mistakenly captured, is there a method to return my soul to my body?”
Yama looked at me in pity, “Little bro, old bro ask you, did you sign up to be an organ donor when you were alive?”
I nodded and asked confusedly, “Why did you bring it up?”
Yama shook his head in pity, “I do want to return you, but now your organs have already been put onto someone else, your body is probably already dissected by med school students…”
It looks like I wasn’t just a little unlucky! Could I be fated to spend a hundred odd years in the underworld?
At this moment Judge B seemed to remember something, and whispered a long while beside Yama’s year. Hearing that, Yama slapped his thigh and shouted, “ That’s right! My grandma, how did I forgot about this? Little bro, do you want to be reborn?”
“Rebirth?” I muttered, this wasn’t a foreign term to me, it was something often seen in web novels.
Yama though I didn’t understand, and begun to explain, “By rebirth, it means to return your soul to your body in the past——“
I waved my hand, “I understand what rebirth means, does that mean that anyone who died before their time can choose to be reborn?”
Yama shook his head, “That’s not true, we have a limited number of spots for rebirth in the underworld, it also have to accepted in heaven. I intended to sell this spot for a high price, but since you are my little bro, I’ll give you this chance! Especially since I don’t lack money.”
It seems like this spot was extremely valuable! I was right to admit Yama as my old bro! I heard that people that were reborn would often have some special powers, would I have some too? So I asked shamelessly, “Old bro, would I have any special powers after getting reborn?”
“About this,” Yama thought about it, “I don’t have any power to decide, if you really want some special powers, I can help you apply for it, but it might take quite long.”
Hearing such a chance, I immediately asked, “How long?”
Yama thought about it and said, “There’s no way to tell, maybe a day, maybe a year, the application for special powers of the previous set of people that were reborn were just returned yesterday, so this time will be quicker, probably just a few hundred years!”
Seriously, several hundred years? I quickly asked, “Did that person receive any special powers afterwards?”
Yama replied, “Receive my ass, that person’s great grandson already died, and died unhappily. His even shouted out his last words ‘When will my great grandfather have special powers’!”
Hearing that, I nearly fainted, I guess I’ll pass on it. So I waved my head, “Old bro, never mind that, if I can get special powers then so be it, if I can’t then whatever!”
Yama faintly smiled, “But old bro can give you a phone, if you have any requests for old bro, call me anytime!”
Phone? I asked, “I can still call you after returning to the world of the living?”
Yama nodded confidently, “Of course, it was just created by Edison and Bell. Oh, I forgot to tell you, Edison is the chief scientist of our Yama Technology limited.”
Judge B handed an exquisite jade pendant to me, so I asked curiously, “You can call with this?”
Yama replied with pride, “Of course, it’s a telepathic link, you can communicate with me, a god, when you miss me. The one I gave you is the newest model, it is efficient night powered, the same as solar power in your world of the living. It will charge automatically in the dark.
I’ll just believe this phone that old bro Yama is bragging to me about, and carefully hung it around my neck.
“Okay, it’s almost time, Judge A, send my little bro back,” said Yama.
I rolled my eyes, this guy is actually called Judge A.