“Isn’t it strange?!”

“That’s strange alright.”

“That’s so strange.”

Lunchtime the next day, I am having lunch with my mob friends while going over how yesterday went down. Consequently, all three of us are of the same opinion, that it was strange.

“To be honest, you simply don’t have the specs to go out with Princess Alexia. Even I would be barely at the acceptable level, you know?”

So says Hyoro. He is the second son of the Baron Gali family. His appearance is tall and thin, and it might seem like he is kind of fashionable and puts some effort into his appearance, but he has terrible sense. From afar, he could perhaps somehow pass off as handsome. Or not, scratch that last part, I can’t see it at all.

Of course, this Hyoro Gali does not have the specs to go out with Princess Alexia. Why? Because he is someone that I’ve acknowledged as a mob friend.

“If even Sid-kun could pull it off, then even I could have succeeded. Ah~, I should have done the confession myself.”

And this is Jaga. Second son of the Baron Imo family. His appearance is small and bony, like that extra guy in every baseball club. He is outstandingly talented in that even when looking from afar,  no matter the angle, he wouldn’t even have the atmosphere of being a handsome guy.

Naturally, he is also a mere mob character who would never be a good match with Princess Alexia after even a thousand years.

Oh and by the way, my name is Sid. Sid Kagenou. When I go by this name, I am your average, everyday mob character.

“Seriously, this is not as good as it sounds. It freaks me out that there is probably some deeper circumstances here, and in the first place the worlds we live in are too far apart.”

“You got that right. After all, your caliber is even less than mine. I bet the longest this would last would be a week.”

“I say three days max. Take a look around.”

At Jaga’s words, Hyoro and I glance around. Almost everybody in the cafeteria are looking my way and whispering furiously to their respective companions.

“Look, he’s the one……”

“No way! His looks are so average……”

“Is there some misunderstanding here……”

“Damn, then even I could have……”

“Ehhhh!”

Et cetera, et cetera.

“I heard that he discovered a secret of hers and is blackmailing her…… from that guy called Hyoro Gali.”

“Are you serious?! I’m gonna kill that bastard……”

“Act like it was an accident……”

“How could we call ourselves men if we don’t stand up here……”

Et cetera, et cetera.

I have good ears, so I can pick up pretty much all of it. But for starters, I glare at Hyoro Gali.

“Nn, what’s the matter?”

“…… Nothing.”

Such is the friendship between mob characters.

“But seriously, what am I to do? It would be super suspicious if I turn around and dump her the very next day after confessing.”

In the first place, it is not mob-like to breakup with a princess. But then again, I was forced out of being mob-like the moment she said ‘yes.’

“Why not just go along with it? Who knows, maybe you can even get a good memory or two out of it.”

So says Hyoro with a smirk.

“I agree. Even if it was a mistake, you are currently officially going out with a princess. It would be such a waste to chicken out due to a few minor obstacles.”

“I can’t actually do that, now can I?”

The longer this state of affairs lasts, the farther that rumors about me would spread, and the further I would be from a mediocre mob-like life.

“But now that things have developed to this level, we absolutely cannot let slip that it was just a penalty game.”

So says Jaga.

“Agreed. The moment it becomes leaked, things will descend into absolute chaos. So I’m begging you guys, alright? Especially you, Hyoro.”

“Me? Pfft, no one would be able to make me talk.”

“Of course, I would also never tell.”

“I’m seriously begging you guys, alright?”

I sigh, then reach for my 980 Zeny Daily-Set-Meal-for-dirt-poor-nobles.

Let’s eat quickly then leave this extremely uncomfortable cafeteria.

But I was too late.

A 100,000 Zeny Daily-Set-Meal-for-filthy-rich-nobles is set down right across from my seat. By a maid, with oh so graceful skill.

Then.

“This seat, is it free?”

Princess Alexia enters the scene.

Fuck, I knew it. That’s why I wanted to eat quickly.

“O-o-o-o-of course!”

“I-i-i-i-i-i-i-if it pleases you, please!”

I can almost see Hyoro and Jaga visibly shrinking into themselves.

And these are the people who were bragging mere moments ago that even they could have gone out with her. As expected of the mob friends that my mob character had fully acknowledged as true mobs.

Now I just want to cry, for various reasons.

“Sit if you want.”

Alexia was waiting for my answer, so I answered.

“Well then.”

And with that, she sits down.

“Nice weather, isn’t it?”

For starters, I try to fill the gap by bringing up the weather.

“I suppose.”

Thus continued our bland and banal conversation.

With elegant motions, she puts her hands to her extravagant lunch.

As expected of a princess, she has wonderful manners. Low ranking nobles are pretty much just commoners slapped with a title.

“That super expensive meal sure is a lot.”

“It is, isn’t it? I always end up unable to finish it all.”

“What a waste.”

“To be honest, I would rather choose a lower rank course, but when I do, then everyone else finds it hard to order this.”

“Ahh, ‘k. If you can’t eat it all, then may I grab some?”

“I don’t mind, but……”

“If you’re worried about the manners and all that, don’t be. This is the lower nobles’ seating area, after all.”

I plunder the meat main dish from the bewildered-looking Alexia and stuff my cheeks with it before she can utter a complaint.

Yep, delish.

“Ah……”

“I’ll help myself to the fish too, then.”

“Wait a……”

Damn, I feel lucky.

Thanks to you, my stomach is now in seventh heaven.

In sharp contrast to yesterday, my attitude towards Alexia is now super meh.

The reason?

It’s because I’m currently in the middle of carrying out the ‘make her dump me’ strategy.

“Sighs…… oh well.”

“Thanks for the food. ‘K, seeya.”

“Wait a second!”

I was hoping to just eat whatever I could and then leave like it’s nobody’s business, but no dice. Grudgingly, I sit back down.

“Your practical studies after lunch is Royal Capital Bushin Style, is it not?”

“Yea, sure.”

This school’s curriculum is separated into theoretical studies before lunch and practical studies after lunch.

Theoretical studies are separated by years, but practical years are all elective-based and students from all years are mixed together. The point is to pick the fighting style that fits you best from among all the ones that they offer.

“I also take Royal Capital Bushin Style, so how about let’s go together?”

“Uh, that’s not happening. I mean, you’re in Group 1, and I’m in Group 9.”

Bushin Style is a pretty popular course. With 50 students in a Group, there are a total of 9 Groups, with Group 1 being the most proficient and Group 9 being the worst. Having joined the academy only 2 months ago, I am still in Group 9. My plan is to eventually settle down in Group 5, by the way.

“With my recommendation, a spot was freed up in Group 1, so don’t worry about it.”

“Isn’t that, like, abuse of power or something?”

“Do you want me to come to Group 9, then?”

“Oh god please don’t, you’d destroy my standing.”

“These are the only options available. Choose one.”

“Seriously?”

“It is an order, by my authority as princess.”

“Group 1, here I come!”

And so ended my lunch.

Hyoro and Jaga remained as ornamental decorations to the very end.