Chapter 232 I Am a Writer 4
Chapter 232 I Am a Writer 4
"Cut!" The main director called for the show to stop. Oscar felt like the weight of a mountain had been removed from his shoulders because he did not know how to continue anymore. If the man did not stop, Oscar was afraid that he would have started mocking the contestant.
The video switched, and it moved directly to the voting phase.
"Eh? What happened during that part?" Xiao Tan asked in shock. "It feels like something is missing."
"Oh… that part will be filled with the post round interviews with the many contestants," Feng Bujue replied. "Mainly it will be about the other writers' critique of my work. And then Oscar will add in a monologue to make the show run smoother during the actual broadcast."
"Is it because the story that you told was too unique, so they needed plenty of fluff to get the show back on track?" Master Bao asked.
"Perhaps… Who really knows?" Feng Bujue shrugged. "Oh, it was also around that time that the director came to me to tell me something rather troublesome…"
…
"Everyone, take ten. Camera crew, please check and adjust your equipment. We will continue the shoot in another ten minutes." The main director spoke into the microphone connected to the earpieces. After calmly and easily giving his orders to the staff, he raised his arm to signal Feng Bujue over. "Bujue, will you please come over here?"
Feng Bujue moved out from his seat and the contestants' area. He walked over to stand before the main director, Pei Ran. "Director Pei, are you going to announce directly that I am going to get disqualified due to my overly horrendous performance during the show?"
When he asked that question, Feng Bujue looked curiously joyful and at ease.
"From how I see it, based on what you are doing… there is a one hundred percent chance that you will be staying for another episode," Pei Ran answered calmly and matter-of-factly.
"What‽ That is different from what we discussed," Feng Bujue said urgently.
"Who told you to be so eye-catching on stage? Do you think you will get disqualified from making a mess like that?" Pei Ran explained. "The correct way of getting eliminated is to keep as low a profile as possible, and that is obviously not what you've done."
"Then, what should we do now?" Feng Bujue pleaded.
"Hmm… Do you really not wish to come back for another episode?" Pei Ran asked.
"I don't," Feng Bujue replied without hesitation.
"How about this? During the voting process of the last round, I can help you manipulate the votes," Pei Ran said softly, "But… about this…"
"I understand…"
"What do you understand?"
"First, there shall be no mention of the vote manipulation by the staff, and second, there shall be no mention of the vote manipulation by the staff," Feng Bujue said with a severe and serious expression. He emphasized himself further with each repetition. "And third… there shall be no mention of the vote manipulation by the staff!"
Pei Ran pushed on the glasses that sat on the bridge of his nose. "Do I look like the person who would appreciate a quote from Fight Club?"
"Of course you do."
Pei Ran nodded. "Okay, then. Since we understand each other so well, I believe you will help me keep the secret until the end."
"Naturally," Feng Bujue promised with sincerity.
"Oh, there is something else that I have to inform you of," Pei Ran said.
"Do tell."
"I have a feeling that we will have good ratings this episode, and a unique style like yours will lead to an accumulation of supporters and fans," Pei Ran said. "So, at the end of June, before the end of this season, there is an eighty percent chance that you will be given a chance to return."
"Huh?" Feng Bujue groaned. "How come this is so troublesome?"
"The list of the returnees will be the top seven with the highest online votes. All the contestants that have gone on the show and have been eliminated will be named on the list. This voting is open and fair, so if you get nominated, even I can't do anything to help you," Pei Ran warned.
"Can't you just put out a statement like… Due to Bujue contestant's illness, he is unable to return to the competition, so we have invited so and so to replace him instead," Feng Bujue suggested.
"Do you think this is like primary school students running away from class?" Pei Ran tutted. "And you gave a reason as weak as a vague illness. Who would buy that?"
"So, you are saying that is not convincing enough… Then we can be more specific. How about syphilis?"
"I think you have misunderstood what I was trying to say…"
"Don't worry, this is a completely valid and understandable reason. Schubert had it when he was only twenty-five, so I also…"
"Mr. Feng, please do take care of yourself…"
…
"Eh? In other words… in two months, you might need to return to the show?" Xiao Tan asked with excitement.
"It depends on the reaction after the show is broadcasted," Feng Bujue replied. "If I do not enter the top seven on the online voting by the start of June, then… hehehe…"
"This is the first time I've seen someone anticipate their loss so much…" Master Bao could not help but toss in this snide comment.
"If all else fails, Master Bao, you have to help me contact the fifty cent army and spread nasty rumors about me online. That way…"
"Stop right there." Master Bao cut him out. "Why do you need me to help you contact them? And where do you think I am going to find people like that?"
"You work for the government. Who are you trying to lie to?"
"I have no idea what impression you have of the government in your mind… but I am…"
"Fine, fine, there's no need to explain." This time, it was Feng Bujue's turn to cut Master Bao off. "Let's get back to the show. We will talk about what happens later when there is a need for it. Future worries shall be left for the future."
Then, back on the TV, the show had moved on to the announce the result of the second round, A Stroke of Genius. Feng Bujue's one of a kind story landed him in second place during this round. First place was Soda, and last place was Mo Buxiang. The first contestant who was picked last was truly at a great disadvantage. Even though her story was not bad, it lacked impact and a hook. Furthermore, after the remaining contestants unveiled their stories, the audience's impression of her story gradually lessened, so she got the fewest votes during this round.
During the break, Oscar managed to collect himself somewhat, and he managed to return to his usual form. He continued to bait the contestants with verbal traps. "After two nervous and exciting rounds, we are finally at the final showdown of the third round."
He paused for a second before turning around to say, "The points gained by the seven contestants during the first two rounds make up thirty percent of the total points, and the points gathered during the third round will be forty percent of the total points. Therefore, each of our contestants have the chance to turn the tide at the last moment and take first place for this episode. Of course, in the same stroke, this also means that each contestant bears the risk of being eliminated.
"However, before we start the third round, let's first take a moment to breathe and relax." Oscar's tone also changed following the content of the script. "We now enter the segment for Questions and Answers."
As he spoke, he took out the cue cards that he had prepared beforehand from his suit pocket.
"I have three question cards with me, and the questions on them are the questions that were selected by our main editors from the online forum for I Am a Writer."
His gaze swept over the contestants' seats. The camera did the same as the host.
"These questions came from our beloved audience member at home." He raised the cards to a level where everyone could them clearly. "There is no point system during this round, so everyone can answer the question any way they wish. Please relax. There is nothing on the line."
Oscar turned to the camera. "Now… we have the same question but different writers. Will they give us different answers to the same question as well? We will find out after this commercial."
The next second, Oscar on the screen had started to read the questions. "The first question we have for today is…
"Dear great authors, I am just a small-time writer. I have a serial that is ongoing on a writing website. There is a character in the story that I've started to feel has become too in the way of the plot. He is also a character that suffers from quite a bit of Sophohigh Syndrome[1]. His existence is barring the plot from moving forward. I would like to write him out of the story, but I cannot figure out a reasonable way to do so. I wonder if the great authors can help me come up with a solution for this. P.S. I am writing a normal contemporary city novel. There is no supernatural setting."
After reading the question, Oscar said, "Oh, the one who provided our first question today is also a writer. He seems to have faced some writer's block, and he wishes to gain help from our seven great writers that we have with us on the stage."
Oscar elaborated with meaningless words to fill up one or two minutes, and then he finally asked, "Then… shall we start with Xuan Tianzong? Xuan Tian, what do you suggest for our friend?"
"Hmm… let me think about it." Xuan Tianzong leaned toward the mic and showed a countenance that looked like he was deep in thought. "In my personal opinion… how about the character accidentally falls onto the tracks when he's taking the subway?"
"That's so cruel!" Oscar gasped in mock shock. Laughter also came from the audience. Even Xuan Tianzong could not help but laugh.
"Compared to that, isn't being hit by a car when crossing the road something similar and more merciful?" Oscar asked. "Or is it true that those with Sophohigh Syndrome have a more gruesome death?"
"Of course not," Xuan Tianzong said. "It's just that in my mind… I saw this character playing games on his phone by the train track. He was so into the game that he was acting out the role of both the hero and monster, jumping here and there, and then…"
"The poor thing!" Oscar cut him off again, and once more, the audience erupted in laughter. "Hearing you say that just makes me feel sadder for the character."
"Let me see what answer Brother Pin will provide." Oscar came to Ba Shan Pin's panel. "Brother Pin, what will your answer be?"
"Hmm… He was acting like a sea monster at the swimming pool and drowned," Ba Shan Pin replied. Oscar did not give any comment but used a funny expression as he turned to the camera. The set director signaled for the audience to laugh to fill in the blank.
"How come I feel like neither of the deaths have shown off the Sophohigh Syndrome of the character but feel like the character is really a sophomore?" Oscar continued to make his jokes. At this segment, he could mock all he wanted. He did not need to hold back. "Alright, let us hear how Vegetable will solve this question."
Oscar walked to Vegetable Fruit. The man had already come up with the answer. He leaned toward the mic. "He was wearing a homemade superhero costume and jumped down from a tall building."
"Just like the intro to Kick-Ass?" Oscar asked.
Vegetable Fruit smiled in reply. "Hmm, I guess it is about the same."
Oscar nodded and felt like there was nothing he could say about that answer, so he came to Mo Buxiang directly and skipped over Vegetable Fruit. "What about you, Mo Mo? What's your answer?"
"He died from a heart attack at a Comic Con?" Mo Buxiang used an uncertain tone to reply.
"It sounds like you have equated someone with Sophohigh Syndrome to a nerd," Oscar said.
"Are they not the same?" Mo Buxiang asked back with a confused look.
Oscar licked his lips like he did not know what to say, and the audience started laughing again.
"Alright, what is Brother Field's answer?" Oscar moved down the row.
"He was trying to mimic a recipe from a comic that he read. He ate the food and died from food poisoning at home," Onto the Field answered.
"But hey… that has nothing to do with the cooking method, right? It's probably because he bought rotten ingredients first, isn't it?" Oscar said sarcastically.
Then it was time for Soda to answer. "Hmm… There is no supernatural setting, right? Then… how about he choked on his food during dinner?"
"Why are you asking me?" Since Soda answered in a question, Oscar made use of that to make a joke. "I'm not the one who killed him."
He had fun making fun of the writers along the way, and he felt quite happy and relaxed about it, but once he reached Feng Bujue, he felt his heart sinking once more.
Oscar forced himself to keep the smile on his face. "Bujue, your answer is…"
"On the road going down the mountain, he was driving and passed a U-turn at more than one hundred kilometers per hour. When the car started to turn, the wheels got off the rails and careened into the drain," Feng Bujue explained in an even voice.
Oscar was stunned for two seconds before realizing what he was saying, "And then he died?"
"Well, what do you think? Do you think he survived and came out to perform Shoryuken[2]?"
The audience laughed at the joke. Oscar coughed and chuckled drily twice before continuing. "Alright, let's take a look at the second question…"
He took out the second card and read from it. "When you have a day when your inspiration runs dry and you have no update to give the readers, how do you normally explain that to the readers?
"Oh, this is a sharp question, and there is no explanation and premise to it. Could it be that our main editor has slipped in this question himself?"
He was merely running his mouth, but to his shock, the main director warned, "Don't mention unnecessary stuff."
Oscar's lips twitched. He fake-smiled and continued. "Haha, of course, I'm just joking." He quickly returned to Xuan Tianzong. "We will have to answer quickly to get the truth with sharp questions. Xuan Tian, what's your answer?"
"I tell them the truth," Xuan Tianzong replied in a serious tone.
Regarding this question, the writers answered rather tactfully, but they made sure to show sincerity. Ba Shan Pin's answer was that he would say that he needed a day off for some personal business.
Vegetable Fruit's answer was firm and powerful. "That has never happened to me. I have not missed an update."
"I only write physical books, and I have been always on time to hand in the script, so I have no experience with 'missing an update'." Mo Buxiang's answer was also flawless.
"I write only short novellas online ,so when I start to upload stuff, most of the book has been written already. I am also my own editor, so there will not be any problem with the writing," Onto the Field said.
After Oscar got the answer from this contestant, he walked to Soda to ask, "What about you, Soda?"
"Hmm… I have no experience with this. When I start a new book, I would have prepared a stockpile of chapters that can last me three to four months. Basically, when the book is still uploading, I will have written the ending already." But Soda did not avoid the question. He still answered, "But if I have a day where I am unable to update my book due to a lack of inspiration… I believe I will tell the truth."
Oscar carried a heavy heart and came to the last contestant. He did not realize that his voice was shaking a bit when he asked, "What about you… Bujue?"
Feng Bujue very calmly and easily answered, "I will go out to seek inspiration."
"Huh?" That was the same reaction for the six other writers. The next second, their expressions all changed, and they mumbled the same thing inside their minds. Are you sure it'll be fine to keep messing things up like this?
"Er… How shall I put it? That indeed is a logical and reasonable answer." His smile once again turned awkward, and internally, he was shouting the house down. Seek inspiration your head! You are a detective novel writer, right? Where are you going to seek inspiration? Crime scenes? Or do you plan to commit some crime of your own? Have you already been on the black list of the law enforcement‽
"Ha… haha… Alright, let's see the last question we have today." Oscar felt like it was best to end this part as soon as possible. With the accompaniment of music and lighting, he raised the third cue card and read it to the camera. "What is the most common sentence that you tell your editor?"
Then, it was time to cut to commercials again. With the signal from the director, Oscar instantly began another recitation of the memorized sponsor slogan. After two scene changes, it was time for the contestants to answer the question again.
Xuan Tianzong's answer was "Hello".
As for why, he said, "Every time we have contact, we're bound to say that."
That was quite a humorous way of handling the question.
Ba Shan Pin was as rounded as Xuan Tianzong, and he followed suit with a similarly harmless answer. "Thank you."
Oscar could not help but mock the next contestant. "Vegetable, you're not going to tell me that it's 'goodbye' for you, right?"
Vegetable Fruit smiled and said, "Sorry for the trouble."
"Fine, it looks like the communication between editors and pure online writers is not something people like us can understand," Oscar commented with a smile. "Everyone after this has physical publications. I wonder what kind of answer they will give."
"Hmm… The thing that I told my editor the most…" Mo Buxiang titled her head to the side to think. "Please feel free to give your comment and criticism."
Oscar finally found something that he could elaborate on, so he swiftly replied, "And the reason for that is?"
"Because when I hand in a script, the editor will say that it's good, and I can see how careful he is whenever he attempts to give me feedback," Mo Buxiang explained.
"Oh…" Oscar nodded. "Brother Field, what do you think? You are an editor yourself. Would you find it hard to criticize a beautiful girl like Mo Mo in your line of work?"
Onto the Field laughed. "I am the editor for a sports magazine. Those who hand their scripts to me are muscle kings and queens."
That earned a laugh from the audience as well as Oscar. "Alright then… When you are the writer, Brother Field, what is the most common thing that you tell your editor?"
"It should be… stop being so polite," Onto the Field explained. "The editor attached to me is younger than I am, and he normally refers to me for work and asks for my opinion."
"After all, Brother Field has a professional background in sports, so the presence is just different." Oscar used this opportunity to praise the man, and then he turned to Soda, "Soda, what about you?"
"Thank you for everything," Soda replied before adding the explanation. "Because my writing has a lot of unconventional terms, I added them after ton of research, so the editing is normally quite troublesome and heavy."
"Alright, it looks like the answer we have for this question is a collection of everyday statements," Oscar said as he unwillingly moved to Feng Bujue. "Bujue, I believe your answer will be able to surprise us."
He had already led with a sarcastic jab. Feng Bujue smirked coldly and said in a slow and steady voice, "Take it easy. Put the blade down. We can talk this out. Give me a few more days. I promise, in few more days, I will be done."
[1] This is a variation of the Japanese term 'Chunnibyou', which literally translates to 'Middle school 2nd-year Syndrome'. And the English word is a combination of sophomore and high school. People with Sophohigh Syndrome either act like a know-it-all adult and look down on real ones, or believe they have special powers unlike others. (Quora)
[2] A special attack in the Street Fighter games.