The Scum Villain’s Self-Saving System

Chapter 1



Chapter 1

Note: Lot of footnotes in this chapter. Sorry ahead of time, but this chapter sets up things to come. There should be a lot less footnotes in the future once things are established.

Final edit: June 11, 2017 (July 20: Added page jump for footnotes)

<<Proud Immortal Demon Way>> was a YY stallion novel. [1]

Getting to the point, “Proud Immortal Demon Way” was a cool, defeating monsters and cultivating type of novel of an unusual and incomparable length with a heaven-defying golden finger [2], a harem reaching three digits, and all of the female characters falling in love with the protagonist.

It was this year’s most popular stallion novel, without equal!

The book’s male protagonist, Luo Binghe, didn’t walk the path of the proud dragon of the skies [3] or the path of the waste but still managed to take thousands of readers in the literary network by storm and was the trending model that influenced countless YY novels thereafter.

He walked the pitch-black path.

But before he darkened, he walked a bitter path.

Next, let the book’s veteran reader Shen Yuan omit the countless details documenting slaughter and death, turning the great work of tens of millions of words into a great expert’s concise summary.

Luo Binghe was abandoned by his parents immediately after being born. He was wrapped in white cloth, put in a wood basin, and set into the water.

It was the coldest time of the year and it was only because the fishermen in the river fished him up that he didn’t freeze to death and die in his early childhood. Because he was floating on the Luo River and it was the season when the river was filled with thin ice, he was given his current name. [4]

He wandered the streets in his youth, starving and never wearing enough to be warm. It was a dreary childhood. A rich family’s washerwoman saw that the child was pitiful and she had no children at her knees so she adopted him and treated him as her real son while she raised him. The mother and son were poor, suffering humiliation at the hands of the wealthy whose charity they relied upon in order to live.

That extremely unhealthy growing environment as a child was the planted seed of disaster that caused Luo Binghe’s twisted nature: after darkening, he fought over every trifle, seeking revenge for the smallest grievance, and had thousands of knives set to kill in his heart while his mouth smiled and agreed.

Just for a lukewarm bowl of meat porridge, he endured the beating of the residence’s sons only to still be a step late in the end and unable to let his foster mother taste a mouthful before she died.

In a coincidental opportunity, Luo Binghe was selected by one of the four great cultivation sects at the time, Cang Qiong Mountain Sect, and apprenticed under ‘Xiu Ya Sword’ Shen Qingqiu. [5]

He had thought that he could finally step onto the right track from henceforth, but unexpectedly Shen Qingqiu was fair on the outside, foul on the inside; the absolute worst sort of character. He was jealous of Luo Binghe’s unparalleled and exceptionally good talent. His heart feared this disciple whose cultivation improved by leaps and bounds every day. Shen Qingqiu was always taunting him by every means and degrading him in a thousand ways, bringing along fellow sect members in ridiculing him together.

Luo Binghe had studied for a few years and suffered in silence. It was yet another heart-aching history full of blood and tears.

It was difficult for Luo Binghe to reach seventeen years of age, finally encountering the cultivation world’s grand ceremonial Immortal Alliance Conference [6] held once every three years. During this Immortal Alliance Conference, Luo Binghe was schemed against by Shen Qingqiu and fell into a crack in the boundary between the Demon Realm and the Human Realm – The Endless Abyss.

Yep, this was the true beginning of the story!

Not only did Luo Binghe not die, he also found the unique sword belonging to him, ‘Xin Mo’ [7] within the Endless Abyss. And thus, he learned about his own history.

As it turned out, Luo Binghe was born of the union between the Demon Realm’s Sacred Ruler or Sheng Jun and a woman from the Human Realm. The blood of ancient demons fallen from heaven and the human race simultaneously flowed in his veins. His birth father, Tian Langjun, was suppressed underneath great mountains, unable to free himself for eternity; his birth mother was an upright disciple of a famous Righteous sect. It was possible that at the time, she was expelled from her sect due to having secret ties to the Demon race. After giving birth to Luo Binghe, she died from postpartum hemorrhage. Prior to her death, she got her son off the lonely boat that she had birthed him on and only then was she able to leave Luo Binghe a chance of surviving.

Luo Binghe used the Xin Mo Sword to undo the seal on the demon race’s blood in his body. In the dark abyss, he single-mindedly cultivated and comprehended unworldly achievements before heading back to Cang Qiong Mountain sect.

Starting from here, Luo Binghe proceeded to walk unhesitatingly on the path of darkness, step by step.

His old enemies all died tragically under his hands, suffering all kinds of torment. Luo Binghe used the camouflage and scheming skills that he was getting better and better at to double-cross and outwardly show devotion while inwardly opposing. Step by step, he gained trust through deceit, seized power, and rose to the top. He was the ocean wave rushing at the sky and setting off a reign of terror. As the plot developed, Luo Binghe’s darkening got more and more severe. He returned to the Demon Realm and inherited the position of Shen Jun. Still not satisfied, he began to massacre and annihilate every one of the Human Realm’s great Righteous sects. All voices who opposed him were exterminated to the root!

In the end, a generation of immortals and demons made Luo Binghe into a legend. The unification of the Three Realms [8], a harem with numbers beyond counting and a boundless number of descendants!

“Stupid author, stupid novel!”

These were the last words Shen Yuan could curse before he died.

Who would have thought that a polite youth like him who followed the rules and spent money to purchase V currency in order to read the legal version [9], would unexpectedly persist to finish reading this kind of money swindling stallion novel that left people speechless with anger before dying? How could he not curse?

<<Proud Immortal Demon Way>> Author: Airplane Shooting Towards The Sky [Xiang Tian Da Feiji].

Just by looking at this ID, there would be an aura of immorality assaulting your face [10]. Like a little grade-schooler’s writing style with disjointed plot points like lightning dropping all over. Even Shen Yuan felt embarrassed by calling this disorderly and incoherent framework constructed by the author a Righteous cultivation world’s setting.

Have you seen a cultivation world where they just ride horses or carts all day? Have you seen a cultivation world where eating and sleeping is necessary even after fasting? Have you seen a cultivation world where the author can even mix up the Foundation and Nascent Soul stages sometimes?

In front of the protagonist, everyone appears as if their intelligence was devoured by his bastard aura. Especially Luo Binghe’s shifu [11], that Shen Qingqiu. He was a fighter jet among the retarded and the Li Tianyi [12] amongst scum! The reason for his existence was to court death. Afterwards, courting death wasn’t enough and so he was killed by the protagonist.

Then, why exactly did Shen Yuan read this kind of novel, even reading it to the very end?

Don’t misunderstand, Shen Yuan wasn’t a masochist. This reason was also the most ball-aching one for him:

This novel had numerous foreshadowings, plot holes everywhere, one mystery after another, layer upon layer of confusing red herrings. The result was that in the end – not even a single one was solved!

It was enough to cough out a mouthful of blood reaching high into the skies!

Why were those unusual and rare plants, spirit pills, miraculous medicine, and exceptionally beautiful woman running all around like they didn’t cost a thing? Why were the villain’s lines and posturing for courting death and eating lunch all stereotypical and repetitive?

Where were all those graceful ladies who were said to have been taken into the harem in the end……? All right, this could be skipped over for the time being——Then who was the murderer for all those massacres? What exactly was the purpose of that big pile of characters with famous reputations who were described as badass and matchless? Why was it that even up until the very end, they weren’t dragged out and shown?!

Towards The Sky brother, Airplane brother, great god, let’s have a discussion. Fill! Plot! Holes! Okay!

Shen Yuan felt that he was angry enough to come back from the dead.

In the endless darkness, a mechanical noise sounded beside his ear.

【Activation Code:「Stupid author, stupid novel」. Automatically triggering system.】

“How may I address you?” The tone of voice was similar to Google Translate.

Shen Yuan looked around. It was like he was floating in a virtual space, it was pitch-dark. That voice came from all directions:

【We welcome your entrance into the system. This system is based on the developing concept of 「you can you up, no BS」. We hope to provide you with the best experience. It is our sincere hope that during the course of your experience, you can achieve what you desired. To transform a piece of stupid writing in accordance to your wishes into a high-end, impressive, and high-grade classic work. We pray for your happiness. 】

Amidst the dizziness, there was a man’s voice beside his ear lightly asking: “……Junior apprentice-brother? Junior apprentice-brother, can you hear me speaking?”

Shen Yuan violently shuddered, calmed his state of mind, and forcefully opened his eyelids. The scene in front of his eyes was as if a thousand flowers and ten thousand leaves were tumbling around and it was a quite a while before they overlapped at one point, gradually becoming clear.

He was lying on a bed.

Looking up, there was the roof of a canopy bed with a wide spread of white muslin and exquisite scented sachets hanging from the four corners.

Looking down, he was wearing a set of white clothes with an ancient fragrance and an ancient look. A paper fan lay beside the pillow.

Looking to the left, a handsome young man dressed in the xuan duan style [13] was sitting beside the bed and looking at him with concern;

Shen Yuan closed his eyes, suddenly reaching his hand out and grasping that paper fan. He opened the fan with a snap and lightly shook it, fanning the cold sweat rolling down his head.

Happiness flashed within that young man’s gaze and he asked in a warm voice: “Junior apprentice-brother is finally awake! Is there any discomfort in your body?”

Shen Yuan reservedly said: “There is nothing wrong.”

The information load was somewhat big. Bewildered, he wanted to sit up. Upon seeing this, that man hurriedly reached out his hand and supported his back, letting him rest against the headboard.

He had read many of Zhongdian’s [14] transmigration novels and Shen Yuan had made a firm resolution early on. If one day, he were to wake up and discover that there was something off about the place he was lying down in, prior to getting an understanding of the circumstances, he absolutely wouldn’t happily giggle and say “Are you filming a TV show? The stage props are really lifelike. Your cast and crew members are so cool!” these kinds of doubtful and weak-minded words that sought a sense of security. He was solely engrossed in acting as though he’d just woken up, his expression absent-minded: “I…… where is this?”

The man was stunned for a moment, then said: “Did you sleep so long that you became confused? This is your Qing Jing Peak.” [15]

Shen Yuan’s heart received a shock, but he continued to act as though he was confused: “I…… why would I sleep for so long?”

The man said: “I haven’t even asked you yet. How did you suddenly get a fever out of nowhere? I know the Immortal Alliance Conference is drawing near so you’re teaching your disciples and eager for success. But with our Cang Qiong Mountain’s [16] history and fame, even if we don’t dispatch someone to attend the conference, there wouldn’t necessarily be anyone who would dare question us. There’s no need for you to concern yourself with those false rumors.”

The more Shen Yuan listened, the more he felt that something wasn’t right. Why did these words sound so familiar?

No, why did this setup sound so familiar?

Next, one earnest and sincere sentence from that man confirmed his doubts.

“Junior apprentice-brother Qingqiu, are you listening to this senior apprentice-brother’s words?”

At this time, there was a ‘ding’ sound and the mechanical Google Translate-sounding voice from the dreamland spoke again.

【System activation successful! Binding your role: Luo Binghe’s master, Cang Qiong Mountain sect, Qing Jing Peak, Peak Lord ‘Shen Qingqiu.’ Weapon: Xiu Ya Sword. Starting B Points: 100】[17]

‘Fuck, fuck, fuck, what kind of toy are you? How come it seems like it’s speaking directly in my brain? Does Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky know about this plagiarism of ‘Proud Immortal Demon Way’s’ plot?’

Shen Yuan didn’t speak out loud of course, but that voice quickly gave a response.

【You initiated the command for the system’s implementation and are already bound to the account ‘Shen Qingqiu.’】

【As the plot progresses, there will be many point-giving missions gradually opened. Please make sure that the points attained for every mission are not less than 0. Otherwise, the system will automatically give punishment. 】 [18]

Stop. Enough. Shen Yuan was certain now. He had won the prize. He had transmigrated!

He had transmigrated into a novel he had just finished reading and what’s more, it was the pitch-black path stallion novel that he’d disliked. In addition, he had brought along a weird system. As a veteran VIP reader of the 21st century Zhongdian Literature site and having experienced the baptism of reading every kind of do-over or transmigration YY novel all year round, Shen Yuan was originally capable of cheerfully and quickly accepting this fact. Unfortunately, the shell that he had borrowed was the protagonist’s scum villain Shifu, Shen Qingqiu. This…… uh, the situation was a bit complicated now.

This man beside him who looked like a very amiable elder brother was Cang Qiong Mountain sect’s incumbent Sect Master, Shen Qingqiu’s senior apprentice-brother, ‘Xuan Su Sword’ Yue Qingyuan [19]. Fuck.

There was a major reason why Shen Yuan specially sent a ‘fuck’ at Yue Qingyuan – in the original work, Yue Qingyuan’s death was caused by his good junior apprentice-brother Shen Qingqiu okay!

If only he hadn’t died so tragically.

Tens of thousands of arrows had pierced through his body until even his skeleton had ceased to exist!

And at this moment, the victim’s face was directly facing him, the “murderer,” and asking about his well-being. The pressure was heavy.

But looking at the situation now, the story clearly hadn’t progressed to that step yet. Yue Qingyuan was still perfectly well, which indicated that the present Shen Qingqiu hadn’t had his hypocritical mask pulled off nor had his reputation been ruined yet.

Yue Qingyuan was a very good person and had nothing to be afraid of. Although Yue Qingyuan suffered a bit, Shen Yuan quite liked this character when he was reading. As he slightly relaxed, simultaneously, a string of words strangely floated up in his mind.

[……In a murky black room, a metal rope hung from the ceiling beam. At the tip of the metal rope hung a ring. The ring was fastened around a person’s waist. That was if that could still be considered as a ‘person,’ anyway. This ‘person’ had messy hair and a dirty face, like a madman. The most frightening thing was that his four limbs had all been cut off. His shoulders and thighs only had four bare balls of flesh. Once touched, he would let out a hoarse ‘Ah ah’ sound. His tongue had also been pulled out by someone, so he was unable to say complete words.]

↑ <<Proud Immortal Demon Way>> A paragraph selection from Shen Qingqiu’s ending.

Shen Yuan, no wait, Shen Qingqiu bowed his head and supported it with a hand.

Where did he still have the qualifications to lament other people’s tragic deaths? The one who died the most tragically was him all right!

He absolutely couldn’t make a big mistake!

Need to snuff out the first signs of a mistake before they even occur √

From now on madly hug the male protagonist’s thighs [20] √

Need to be a good teacher who is ardent, eager, and gentle in his teachings and pamper the protagonist in every possible way √

He had just come up with this plan when the sound of a long string of alarms abruptly exploded within Shen Qingqiu’s mind. It was like a hundred police cars were zipping past while carrying a hundred mystic beasts that were screeching. It was so noisy that his entire body shook and he painfully clutched his head.

Yue Qingyuan worriedly said: “Junior apprentice-brother, your head still hurts?”

Shen Qingqiu gritted his teeth and didn’t answer. The system sharply warned: 【Warning. Your plan just now was very dangerous. It is a violation of behavior, please do not attempt. Otherwise, the system will automatically give punishment. 】

‘Where was it a violation?’

【You are now at the beginning stage and the OOC function is frozen. You need to complete the beginning stage mission for it to be unfrozen. If you conduct any actions that violate the original ‘Shen Qingqiu’ character’s settings before the function is unfrozen, a certain amount of B points will be deducted. 】

As a semi-otaku [21], in the past Shen Qingqiu would occasionally read some books of the trade, you understand. Of course he knew what OOC meant.

Out of character was the full text for the abbreviation. The literal meaning referred to a collapse in role that wasn’t in accordance with the original character’s nature.

‘……That is to say, before getting that whatever function unfrozen, my actions and bearing can’t exceed the boundaries what ‘Shen Qingqiu’ would do?’

【Correct. 】

It’s already directly let him transmigrate into Shen Qingqiu’s shell and replace him, but it still cares about something OOC, this kind of detail?

Shen Qingqiu asked again: ‘You said earlier, something something……points can’t be less than 0, if it’s less than 0 what will happen?’

【You will be automatically deported back to your original world. 】

Original world? But in his original world, Shen Yuan’s corporeal body was already dead.

In other words, if those whatever B points were deducted to nothing, what awaited him was: Death.

Then if he completely ignored the male protagonist and didn’t do anything, he would be fine right?

He lifted his head and gazed around him. He didn’t see anyone who corresponded with Luo Binghe’s image amongst the disciples standing to the side, waiting to attend to his needs. He pretended to be indifferent as he said: “Where is Luo Binghe?”

Yue Qingyuan paused, his gaze strange as he looked at him.

Shen Qingqiu didn’t make a sound or move, but he was secretly delighted beyond words. Could it be that this was the wrong time and the male protagonist hadn’t apprenticed under him and entered Cang Qiong Mountain sect yet?

Yue Qingyuan said: “Junior apprentice-brother, don’t be upset.”

An ominous premonition sprung up in Shen Qingqiu’s heart.

Yue Qingyuan sighed and said: “I know you don’t like him. But that child has already made a sufficient amount of effort and hasn’t made any large blunder. There’s no need for you to punish him again.”

Shen Qingqiu’s lips dried as he listened to him speak. He licked his lips and said: “……Out with it, where is he?”

Yue Qingyuan was silent for a moment and then said: “After stringing him up and hitting him, haven’t you always shut him inside the woodshed?”

Shen Qingqiu’s eyes darkened.

—End Chapter 1—

[1] YY stallion novel: Refers to a novel genre. Specifically, novels featuring protagonists with some kind of charm effect getting a bunch of people going crazy over them. Most of them are harem. You can think of it as: harem protags = stallions or stud horses getting it on with many brood mares (i.e. girls).

[2] Golden finger: The god-level cheat items that protags always manage to get their paws on. You can think of it as someone who always gets the 1% drop rate god-tier loot.

[3] Proud dragon of the skies, path of the waste: Common cultivation novel backgrounds for protagonists are those who begin strong and verge into Mary Sue territory or begin weak (i.e. cultivation trash overcoming their difficulties).

[4] Luo Binghe (洛冰河): Bing he (冰河) means ‘glacier’ and taken separately the characters mean ‘ice’ and ‘river.’ But his surname ‘Luo’ also sounds like the word for ‘lowered.’ Altogether, his name sounds like it literally describes his origins: ‘lowered [into] icy river.’

[5] ‘Xiu Ya Sword’ Shen Qingqiu (「修雅劍」沈清秋): ‘Xiu Ya Sword’ is a title. It means something like ‘Elegant Cultivating Sword.’ Shen Qingqiu is the name of the scum villain that Shen Yuan transmigrates into. Qing qiu means ‘clear autumn.’

[6] Immortal Alliance Conference: More literal translation would be something like Immortal/Fairy Alliance Important Meeting (pinyin: xian meng da hui).

[7] Xin Mo: Translates to ‘Heart Demon.’ I’ll refer to his technique as ‘Xin Mo Sword’ in the future.

[8] Three Realms: Demon, Human, and Immortal/Heavenly.

[9] V (currency): Refers to a type of online currency.

[10] Aura of immorality: The author’s penname is also a dirty euphemism for… upright penis. And Luen was kind enough to point out that the author’s penname altogether can mean ‘masturbating towards the sky.’ Hence Shen Yuan’s disgust. LOL

[11] Shifu: You should know this from Kung Fu Panda. Shifu = master.

[12] Li Tianyi: A real-life scumbag who led the gang rape of a woman in Beijing. Thanks to Luen for pointing this out!

[13] xuan duan style (玄端): A style of dressing that involves wearing mostly black. Luen found a nice picture for what it looks like.

[14] Zhongdian: Zhongdian is supposed to be a Chinese webnovel site. Don’t know if it still exists anymore though lol.

[15] Qing Jing Peak: Literally ‘Clear Calm’ Peak. This is the peak that Shen Qingqiu is Peak Lord over in the sect.

[16] Cang Qiong Mountain (蒼穹山) Sect: Loosely, ‘Blue Sky Mountain’ Sect.

[17] B Points (原始B格): LUEN FIGURED OUT THE GREAT MYSTERY. B Points are a netizen creation for scaling how much of a douchebag (or pretentious prick) someone is. The more B Points you have, the more of a douche you are. LOOOOL.

[18] More on the system points: As the story progresses, our main character will get points depending on certain things he does. His total points value cannot be less than 0 and the points value for each mission also cannot be lower than 0. 0 points = punishment = death because he’s deported back to his dead, original body.

[19] ‘Xuan Su Sword’ Yue Qingyuan (「玄肅劍」岳清源): His title means ‘Profound Solemn Sword.’

[20] Hug thighs: A figure of speech meaning to hold with all your might onto a strong and powerful figure. If you were an employee you’d want to hug your boss’ thighs. XD

[21] Semi-otaku: Actual term in Chinese is not otaku, but the meaning is closest to otaku so I’m using that for now. Real meaning is closer to homebody/nerd/fan.

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