The Monk That Wanted To Renounce Asceticism

Li Xueying looked up and saw Squirrel squirming its fat ass as it took great effort to squeeze into the flower pot. She laughed in amusement. She felt that all the things in the monastery seemed to have an intelligence to them and everything was just so free and relaxed. It was quiet and peaceful. Her entire being felt relieved of any burdens. It relaxed her and she even felt like she could fly. The feeling was excellent!

But the next moment, Li Xueying’s smile stiffened.

She saw a white laced strap slip out from the corner of the flower pot. There were English letters on it. It was golden in color and under the sunlight, it appeared clearly. She could even see very clearly that there were the three letters, LXY!

Li Xueying’s face turned grim. The strap and the letters were obviously the bra she requested an international fashion designer to tailor it for her! Although the world was large, there was only one of those!

But why would the bra be in Squirrel’s nest?

Just as she was puzzling over the matter, a plump claw stretched out and pulled the strap back in. Then, its sneaky head popped out of the flower pot. It looked around a little flustered. Its disingenuous eyes even stole a glance at Li Xueying.

Realizing Li Xueying’s abnormal expression, it rolled its eyes and pretended to be oblivious about it. He climbed down the trunk before offering three pine nuts to Li Xueying.

She took the pine nuts and stared at the little squirrel. She took a deep breath and squeezed out a smile. “Little guy, do you have something in your nest?”

Squirrel obviously did not know what she was saying but seeing her smile, he thought that everything was fine. He sat on Li Xueying’s shoulder and enjoyed the seaweed…

Realizing that Squirrel was not cooperating, Li Xueying knew she had been over thinking things. A squirrel was ultimately not human. It could not understand human speech. Li Xueying was unwilling to let the matter rest. She lowered Squirrel and with a shrug of her arms and loosening her wrists, she began climbing the tree! She wanted to confirm if the item inside Squirrel’s nest was her bra!

Noticing the situation turn bad, Squirrel instantly fled to seek out Fangzheng.

At that moment, Fangzheng was still worrying over the problem of resolving the problem of the undergarments! Throw them away? There were people outside. There was no way for him to dispose of the incriminating items! Keep them for himself? He would probably be struck by lightning… Dig a hole? That was a good idea but he could only do so at night. Most importantly, Fangzheng felt uncomfortable. He was not the thief so what was he afraid of? After thinking it through, he realized that he was not afraid but that he was too embarrassed to face the facts!

“Sigh, I’m not some experienced sex deviant after all. I’m too thin-skinned,” muttered Fangzheng with a bitter smile.

At that moment, he felt a wind blow at him as his leg pants tightened. Squirrel’s fat body quickly appeared on Fangzheng’s shoulder as he gestured with his tiny paws and kept squeaking.

“Look at the likes of you. You become this happy when you eat something delicious like you are… What? She climbed up the tree to see your nest?” Fangzheng became anxious. He ran out and was dumbstruck!

He had no idea how Li Xueying had the skill. She really climbed up and was sitting on a tree branch. She had scooped out a white bra from Squirrel’s nest!

Fangzheng covered his face. He was doomed. His embarrassment was so immense that it reached into the depths of outer space… He made a stride in preparation to escape. He wanted to pretend that he had not seen what had happened!

However…

“Venerable Fangzheng…” Li Xueying called out with a dragged out tone.

Fangzheng smiled bitterly. “If it’s fortune, then it isn’t a calamity, and if it’s a calamity, then it can’t be avoided. Indeed, I failed to avoid it.” Since I can’t leave, I can only bite the bullet…”

Fangzheng was prepared to drown from the spit that would surely ensue. He took a deep breath and turned back.

He saw Li Xueying looking despondently at him. “Venerable Fangzheng, I can’t get down… Do you have a ladder?”

When Fangzheng heard that, he was overjoyed! She was not demanding an answer for his crime!

Fangzheng was also dumbfounded by her question. A ladder? Where was he to get a ladder? The monastery was not rich enough to own construction tools. Fangzheng pressed his palms together. “Amitabha. This Penniless Monk does not have a ladder. Female Patron, it didn’t take long for you to get up. It shouldn’t be hard to get down, right?”

“Uh… Venerable Fangzheng, you saw it all?” Li Xueying blushed red. She grew up in a village so she had playfully climbed up trees to play with bird nests in her youth. She was restricted from such inelegant acts after she became famous. There was a reason for today and she wanted to scratch the itch she had. Since she had hidden in the monastery and there was no one watching her or any considerations to have, she decided to do the climb. But she realized in despair that as she had not climbed in ages, she no longer knew how to descend a tree…

Fangzheng thought, “It seems she hasn’t seen it. But Squirrel ran in and I ran out. It couldn’t have been long…” He paused briefly, “Female Patron, why don’t you wait. This Penniless Monk will call for help.”

“Don’t! I can’t embarrass myself like that,” shouted Li Xueying anxiously.

Fangzheng felt exasperated. “Patron, then what do you propose? Are you going to stay on the tree without coming down?”

“I’m not a monkey… Why would I stay on a tree…” Li Xueying smiled bitterly. Following that, her eyes lit up as she said with a blushed face, “Venerable Fangzheng, can you stand below me and let me step on you?”

Fangzheng was rendered speechless when he heard that. He was an abbot of a monastery after all. He was also a master revered by quite a number of people. He was a holy monk that had crossed a river on a reed and did Lotus Flower Conveyance! Now, someone that was actually willing to be her foot foot pedestal? That was…

“Amitabha, alright…” Fangzheng was out of options. There were tables in the monastery but they were not tall enough. Most importantly, his guilty conscience made him wish to do something to make up for it. Although the undergarments were not stolen by him, it was done by Squirrel, wolf, and monkey. It was almost equivalent to him stealing the undergarments. Who would blame the three animals? They would most likely blame him.

Fangzheng came under the tree and got into position. He said, “Patron, come on down.”

Li Xueying nodded and turned her body to the side. As her hands held onto the tree branch, she probed with one foot down. She probed for something to land on but failed to find anything. Thus, she asked, “Venerable One, how far more am I?”

Fangzheng subconsciously looked up and saw a long leg in front of him. As he traced the stockings up, he saw a straight leg with a perky hip. He had never seen such an alluring scene before. Fangzheng only wished to say: “Amitabha… A sin has been committed.”

Thankfully, Fangzheng had a firm mind as he turned his gaze away. He looked at Li Xueying’s foot and ended up seeing nothing but darkness. The heel came stepping on his face!

“Venerable Fangzheng! I stepped onto something!” As Li Xueying spoke, she glanced down and was instantly dumbfounded! The front of her stilettos were on Fangzheng’s face. Thankfully, the soles had reached down first. If the heels came down, Fangzheng would be in a world of pain.

“Venerable One, that…” Li Xueying quickly retracted her foot and wanted to say something out of guilt.

Fangzheng sighed and reached out to hold the bottom of Li Xueying’s feet. “Patron, just step on This Penniless Monk’s hands.”

“Ah!? I’m very heavy…” Li Xueying did not believe Fangzheng could use his hands to hold her up. After all, Fangzheng was thin.

Fangzheng replied, “Do not worry. This Penniless Monk will not let you fall.”