Book 3: Chapter Eighth Requirement of Rescuing a Princess: “The Must-Have Plot Point for Every Adventure - King vs King” translated by Evangeline
Book 3: Chapter Eighth Requirement of Rescuing a Princess: “The Must-Have Plot Point for Every Adventure – King vs King” translated by Evangeline
When I opened my eyes again, the first thought that I had was… Why have I been opening my eyes after fainting so often these days?
“I knew it. Who said a groomsman wouldn’t have to escape for his life… When I return home, I’m definitely going to ask the Pope for compensation!”
I crawled up with a sour expression, mostly because I hadn’t eaten and my stomach was killing me. Even though I knew that I could call for someone, I hadn’t moved for so long that my body was already starting to feel stiff. I feared that if I kept going on like this, I would no longer be a pig, but could instead be buried and rest in peace.
I walked to the door, but just as I was about to push it open, I heard some shouting right outside. I stopped and quietly pressed my ear to the door. Immediately, I recognized Leaf and Ann’s voices. They seemed to be arguing… Unbelievable, to think that Leaf could actually argue with someone?
Leaf lowered his voice and growled, “What is with you and Princess Alice? Princess Alice actually attacked us that day, and your reaction was very strange as well.”
Ack! Oh, how my heart beats in fright. Who knew that Leaf could yell at someone, and a princess at that? Is he planning on changing his profession as a good guy?
“None of this is any of your business!” Ann’s shriek was even louder than Leaf’s.
“None of my business?” Leaf’s voice started to shake, and it seemed like he was about to snap. “How can you say that it’s none of my business when Sun has been unconscious for so long because of you guys?!”
Ann retorted, “I bet he’s only asleep!”
Slap!
Ann’s voice sounded like she was stunned. “You, you hit me…”
Yet Leaf’s voice was cold. “Don’t insult Sun. Next time, it won’t be just a slap. I will directly challenge you to a duel. I don’t care even if you are a princess, Princess Ann.”
I was so surprised that my mouth stretched to form an “O”… Did Leaf just… slap the princess? Oh my God of Light! Please don’t tell me that the side effect of the resurrection has turned him into a bad guy?
Doesn’t this mean I can’t make fun of him anymore in the future? God of Light, you are really too cruel! Bullying Leaf was one of the few delights of my life, yet You actually have the heart to deprive me of that!
“I’m sorry Leaf, I didn’t mean it.” Ann choked with sobs and said while blowing her nose, “I didn’t know that my sister Alice would attack us, and that they would even go as far as to kill you. I just wanted to help her elope with her beloved. I never wanted to hurt you and Sun, you have to believe me.”
Both parties stayed silent for some time, broken only by the sound of Ann’s sobs. Finally, Leaf sighed and then said, “I understand, and I’m sorry for hitting you earlier. I was just too worried about Sun, so I acted impulsively for a moment. Please forgive me.”
He forgave her so easily. Looks like Leaf’s still a nice guy! I’m sorry, God of Light, I misunderstood you.
At this, Ann stammered, “Le-Leaf, actually, I have a magic device for tracking my sister. It can be used to teleport someone to my sister’s side just once… I’m sorry! Don’t scold me!”
Silence fell for a good while outside, and then Leaf stammered, “It’s too dangerous to go after them. Mike and Austin have gone for reinforcements. After Sun and I leave, tell them and let them decide.”
“Why should I wait until after you and Sun leave? Are you not coming with us?” Ann’s voice sounded very desperate.
“No!” Leaf said with unusual steel in his voice. “We must not let Sun know about this, promise me!”
“Why? If you don’t tell me, then I won’t promise you.”
“You don’t know him… ugh! Your sister and her companion shouldn’t have killed me. If we let Sun know that there’s a way to find Alice, he won’t let them off the hook. Your sister will be in danger too, so you have to promise me, you cannot mention this matter to Sun before we leave.”
Ann said somewhat dubiously, “We couldn’t even beat them, so someone as weak as Sun… I mean, he’s not that strong, right? Leaf, don’t get angry. I’m not deliberately making fun of him!”
“He’s not that strong, haha!”
Leaf said very helplessly, “If that were the case, then why would our third shared rule be, ‘No matter how pathetic the Sun Knight looks, never ruffle his feathers?’”
Having heard all this, I thought for a bit and then walked back to lie on my bed. Then, rubbing my eyes and acting as if I had just gotten up, I yelled, “Leaf? Leaf! I’m dying of hunger!”
Leaf pushed open the door and exclaimed happily, “Sun, you’re awake?”
“Awake enough to feel hungry, what do you think?” I said moodily.
Leaf chuckled and asked cheerfully, “How does eating some congee sound?”
I quickly replied, “No, I want to eat meat.”
“But you just woke up, and if you eat something hard to digest, I’m afraid…”
I rolled my eyes and couldn’t help saying, “Leaf, save it, you are not Judgment. And besides, you are a good guy, so I’m not afraid of you. If I say I want meat, then I’m having meat.”
Leaf stayed silent for a bit and finally said anxiously, “Fine, I will tell the kitchen to chop up the meat into little pieces to make meat soup for you.”
Leaf wasted no time and came back in the blink of an eye, carrying the soup. As I was feasting on the soup, Leaf explained the situation to me, even though I had actually overheard everything already. Basically, Mike and Austin had left to ask for backup, and since I was unconscious, Leaf and Ann had stayed behind to protect me.
Leaf said, “Sun, I also asked them to contact the Church of the God of Light, so I think the Church will be sending someone over.”
I hope that that someone isn’t Judgment. I nodded at Leaf and swallowed the last bit of meat soup.
With the sweet aroma of the meat soup gone, I vaguely smelt some kind of foul smell. Wait, it can’t be… I lowered my head to smell myself and almost died from the odor. I had turned into Supreme Stinky Knight.
I frowned and exclaimed, “Leaf, I smell awful! Buy a set of new clothes for me. Also… Princess Ann.”
When Ann, who had been standing quietly, heard me calling her, she paused before asking, “What?”
“Can you please get me a bucket of hot water?” I asked insipidly.
Ann did not answer, but Leaf immediately said warmly, “Sorry for the inconvenience, Ann. I will go buy some clothes for Sun.”
At this time, Ann finally answered, albeit in a grudging tone of voice. “Fine!”
I ordered Leaf, “They have to be white, and also, get the seamstresses to sew on the Sun emblem too. Didn’t you say that someone from the Church is coming? I can’t bear to look disrespectful in front of everyone.”
Leaf hesitated and then said with a nod, “Okay.”
Leaf left to buy my clothes. Not a moment later, Ann came in with a bucket of hot water, and set it down with a thud. With a dissatisfied tone, she said, “Here! I will leave now.”
“Wait.” I felt the water and said dully, “The water’s too hot.”
Ann was probably either feeling guilty, or she was doing this for Leaf’s sake. Either way, although she was unhappy, she was still completely obedient and knelt down to feel the water upon hearing my words.
I smirked, and summoned the water element…
Instantly, the bucket of bath water combined together with the water element I summoned, wrapping onto Ann’s body like a chain. She froze momentarily and then started to struggle right after, trying to break free of those water chains. However, water has no form, so all she could do was pass through the streams of water with her fists. Finally, I froze all the water all at once, with Ann stuck in the middle of those icicles, unable to move.
“Impossible! How can a basic freezing spell trap me?” Ann shrieked while she struggled ferociously. However, the ice around her body showed no signs of breaking.
I replied with a smile, “According to my knowledge of magic, a basic level spell plus a basic level spell is equal to an intermediate level spell, so I repeated the same freezing spell over and over again five times. I wonder, what level of magic is it now? But no matter what, that ice is no more fragile than the sword on your body, so you’ll just hurt yourself if you keep on struggling.”
After saying this, I smiled and reached my hand inside Ann’s clothes…
“Y-you!” Ann’s voice sounded like she was close to tears as she shouted, “Stop right now or I will yell!”
Hearing that, I casually used Whirlwind, letting the wind spiral along the walls in order to block off all sound. I whispered to Ann, “Hah! Go ahead, but too bad, even if you scream until your voice becomes hoarse, no one will hear you.”
Her voice shook heavily as she spoke, “L-Leaf is going to be back soon. He won’t let you do this!”
I answered nonchalantly, “He has to wait for them to sew on the Sun emblem, so he’s not going to be back for a while.”
“So you planned this in advance!” Ann screamed. “You despicable bastard!”
Why do all princesses like to call me a despicable bastard?
I ignored her screams, and took out a flat box a little smaller than the palm of my hand from her secret pocket. A fragrant smell overflowed as I opened it, and when I touched the inside of the box, it felt like some kind of ointment. Maybe it was some kind of perfume cream for girls.
Immediately, Ann stopped crying, and she sounded utterly astonished as she spoke, “How did you know…”
She suddenly stopped, and I finished the sentence for her, “How did I know that this is the magical object that you used to track Princess Alice, right?”
“You, you…” Ann sounded frightened and distressed, “So you have been hiding your abilities all this time.”
I sneered. Of course. No matter what, I am still the Sun Knight, so I couldn’t really be completely useless, right?
“You are too scary.” Ann’s voice shook as she continued, “You concealed your swordsmanship stance and footwork so well, and even pretended that you can’t even run a mile without panting to death. Acting just like someone who can’t use a sword, someone with terrible stamina…so all of this was just a farce!”
Ann laughed and said calmly, “But, you won’t be able to activate this magical object, heh, heh… Ack!”
I used a Wind Blade to slice open Ann’s skin, letting her blood drip inside the box.
“H-how did you know…?” Ann’s voice sounded like she was about to cry again.
I rolled my eyes. Pink had almost as many magical devices as she did lollipops, and I had basically rolled about in those since I was small, so a small device like this could hardly stump me.
As Ann’s blood dripped down, I heard the sound of a click. The bottom of the box flipped open to reveal a hidden compartment. There was a very tiny magic circle inside. I touched it, noting that it was very detailed and was probably very rare. Still, Pink had loads of these kinds of things in her house.
Then, I raised my head and said to Ann, “These chains will shatter in half an hour after I leave. If you don’t want some stranger to take advantage of you, then I suggest you don’t scream and attract people over! If you do attract a bad guy, then you’ll just have to suffer through it! Also, when Leaf comes back, tell him that I will exact justice for him.”
Without waiting for Ann to answer, I injected the wind element into the magic circle, which expanded all of a sudden and engulfed my entire body, taking me to where Princess Alice was.
When I felt that I had teleported to the destination, I immediately yelled, “Dragon’s Saint Brigandine! In the name of the descendants of Dragons, I command thee, activate!”
“Sister?”
It was a woman’s voice. She wore robe-like clothes, and the wind element around her body was surging. This had to be Princess Alice, and she was even a wind mage.
She was very close to me, just two steps away, so I hurriedly stepped forward and grabbed her, yelling, “Don’t move!”
Apparently, she was not very obedient, immediately wanting to counter with wind magic. Unfortunately for her, I interfered with her magic. Although I didn’t know advanced magic, even Aldrizzt, that hundred-year old mage, had bluntly said that he couldn’t compare with me over the ability of gathering elements.
She gasped in surprise, “Y-you are not an assassin, you are a mage!”
“No to both. I am a holy knight.” I said coldly, “Are you blind? Can’t you see the shining Divine Sun Sword in my hands? I am the Sun Knight!”
After saying all that in one breath, I had to admit that I’d been wanting to scream for a long time, “I am a holy knight! Not a cleric, but a holy knight, holy knight, holy knight (insert a hundred more echoes)!”
Now that I had actually said it, it felt so good that if the situation had allowed it, I might have been overcome with the impulse to cry!
“The Sun Knight? How is that possible?” Alice asked with a shaky voice.
“Alice!”
Just then, the dark knight hurriedly rushed over. The amount of light element overflowing from me must have grabbed his attention. He quickly sprinted our way at lightning speed.
“Hold it right there!”
I firmly grabbed the princess, pressing the Divine Sun Sword tightly against her neck. I then coldly addressed the dark knight, “You don’t care about this woman’s life anymore?”
The dark knight’s footsteps slowed, but didn’t stop. I pressed the Divine Sun Sword a bit tighter against the princess’s neck, causing her to gasp.
“Stop!” the dark knight finally stilled, and yelled out, “You can’t hurt her, she’s a princess!”
I laughed for a good while, and pressed my blade even harder against the princess’s neck, though she restrained herself from making any noise this time. “Are you sure?” I asked mockingly.
The dark knight said with a shaky voice, “You are a knight, and you’re even the Sun Knight whom the entire continent knows. You wouldn’t hurt a woman. That would ruin your reputation. You wouldn’t do that…”
I laughed and asked, “Then, do you know what ‘the whole continent knows’ the Sun Knight hates the most?”
“Undead creatures,” he answered reflexively.
I barked out, “Wrong! What the Sun Knight hates the most is seeing his holy knights get killed!”
After yelling, I collected my agitated feelings and said calmly, “From this moment onwards, I warn you, if you dare to move, I will cut off this woman’s hand. And the more you move, the more bits of her I get to chop off.”
Both Alice and the dark knight didn’t budge an inch, nor utter a word. Maybe I had scared them or something, but that didn’t matter. I then summoned a large amount of water element and froze it into a dozen or so icicles which floated around the dark knight’s proximity. Sure enough, he did not move even a single hair despite all this.
Instead, it was the Princess Alice in my arms who started to scream, “You despicable bastard! Eagle, don’t listen to him! He wouldn’t dare!”
Now I became certain that every princess in the world only had one way of insulting others, and that was calling them a despicable bastard. There was no other insult.
With a neutral tone, I said to the dark knight, “I forgot to tell you, but activating your battle aura also counts as moving.”
After I spoke, more than ten icicles flew toward his torso and limbs, causing a succession of cracking sounds, but he didn’t move an inch even under heavy attack. He forced himself to withstand the attacks without moving, which in turn caused his injuries to worsen. I heard the sound of several bones shattering.
“Eagle…” Alice almost fainted, her legs no longer supporting her. The only thing that kept her upright was me.
“You can move now,” I said indifferently.
At this time, the dark knight finally slipped to the ground slowly. I then launched the largest icicle and smashed it into his back ruthlessly.
“Umph!” He tried to stifle a groan.
What a proud knight. I admired him somewhat, as I was sure that that last blow had probably broken a lot of his ribs, but he didn’t so much as cry out.
I let go of Princess Alice and warned her leisurely, “Don’t even think about using magic on me, or I will help disinfect and sterilize your dark knight using Hell’s Fire. I guarantee you that he’ll be so clean that there won’t even be any ashes left over after that.”
Alice shoved me hard and immediately ran to her dark knight’s side, crying out loud when she saw his injuries. Although the dark knight was wounded gravely and was most likely in a semi-unconscious state, he still quietly soothed the princess. All I heard was, “I am fine, don’t cry,” over and over.
At this, I couldn’t help but start chuckling. We had wanted to save her, but I don’t think that they thought of this quest the same way we did. This is too absurd. What do they mean when they say that knights save princesses… the princess might not necessarily even want to be saved! To her, we were actually the bad guys trying to tear her and her lover apart, right?
“You made one mistake,” I said coldly, “and that was killing Leaf! If you hadn’t killed him, I might have considered not separating you. However, at this point I don’t plan to break you two up. You can go to hell together!”
Silence fell before Alice murmured to herself, “You are going to kill us? How can this be…”
“Why not?” I smirked, “The second you killed the Leaf Knight, you should have known that the Sun Knight would chase you to the ends of the world for revenge!”
Hearing this, she exclaimed in alarm, “I am a princess!”
“Oh, really?” I questioned in a soft, gentle tone. “But I don’t see any princesses. I only see a kidnapper and his accomplice.”
Alice’s breathing turned ragged, and she shook as she replied, “Sun Knight, if you kill me, my mother will not let you or the Church of the God of Light get away with it!”
Unconcerned, I retorted, “Oh? But I’m an assassin, and I see no Sun Knight. Do you?”
Alice sobbed, and tried to carry the nearly unconscious dark knight, as if wanting to escape with him.
However, her strength wasn’t anywhere close to being enough to move a man, especially when the man was wearing armor. Still, she refused to give up, and tried to drag him to safety with all her might.
Seeing them like this, my heart’s berserker state diminished by half, and I found it difficult to proceed with the tortures I had in my mind a second ago. Had I known this earlier, I never would have wounded that dark knight so much. If he had had the strength to retaliate, then I probably could have held onto my fury, but now I couldn’t even do that.
With my enthusiasm waning, I said, “Fine, I will give you a slightly less painful death.”
I gathered the dark element, planning to use what Aldrizzt had once used, “Encroaching Death,” as it could kill someone silently and painlessly…
“Sun, stop!” A shout came from the sky.
At the same time, I felt the dark element I had summoned in my hands being dispelled.
I raised my head. The opponent was wearing a cloak-like garment, and even though their leaking dark aura wasn’t strong, they gave me a sense of deep mystery. That aura, I had felt it only on one other person before… No! I shouldn’t say person. She hadn’t been a person for a long time.
Clenching my fists, I squeezed my words through my teeth, “Pink, so when you said that you moved, you meant that you moved to the Cathedral of the Shadow God?”