The Daily Life of the Immortal King

Thursday, August 24th.

It was the eleventh day of the summer break.

The initial results of the interrogation of the Dark Network assassin “Kong Ruye” who had broken into Odd Zhuo’s staff apartment were already out. In the beginning, Kong Ruye had sworn he wouldn’t confess and had been very bone-headed. Warden Liang and Odd Zhuo had exchanged looks and smiled, and without saying a word, directly sent Kong Ruye to the “mahjong room.”

Less than five minutes later, Kong Ruye confessed what he had done, but he also didn’t know much. The only clue Kong Ruye had on the employer who had shelled out so much for Odd Zhuo’s hair was the bank account number the money was wired from.

Odd Zhuo had someone look it up and discovered that the account belonged to a foreign private banking group; they didn’t have the authority to access the other party’s personal information.

Warden Liang: “Kong Ruye was hired at a hefty price from the Dark Network. You need to be careful from now on, Brother Zhuo. Although we don’t know what the other party wants your hair for… could it be for a DNA paternity test? Do you maybe have long-lost rich grandparents overseas?”

Odd Zhuo sweated. “You think too much, Old Liang… I’m a Hujian native born and bred, and I had a modest upbringing. I came to Songhai for school because my grades were good and I got a special recommendation.”

“Then could it be some enemy? Or someone you offended as a kid?”

“It could be an enemy… but I didn’t have any at all as a kid. Our Zhuo family always said to never go out at night; my parents used to frighten me when I was a kid by saying that if we Hujian people went out, we’d be caught and eaten by those from Guangdong]1. From a joke that the Cantonese have swallowed up the Fujian people.]…” Saying this, Odd Zhuo’s expression was a little helpless.

But speaking of enemies, it was difficult to say whether he had any or not after assuming this position. As the saying went, tall trees attracted the wind; Odd Zhuo understood this. In recent months, he had made a lot of waves, shouldered a lot of woks, and drawn a lot of attention.

There would always be those who were envious, jealous, and full of hate, who would step on him when he was down. There were a lot of people like this in society, and most of them weren’t straightforward; like snakes, insects, rats and ants, they couldn’t bear the light and could only hide behind rocks like spineless cowards.

Odd Zhuo had seen more and more of this type of people since taking office as the director of the General Administration of 100 Cultivation Schools. He knew who they were, but always pretended that he was indifferent; he knew that once he showed the least bit displeasure, it would be exactly what they wanted.

Who on earth was looking into him, and why the hell did they want his hair?

Odd Zhuo felt that he had to look into this.

…

At noon, Fatty Luo brought Wang Ling good news: Jingke’s initial scabbard was complete.

In order to make Jingke a suitable scabbard, just collecting the materials alone had been a long struggle for Fatty Luo, who had gone through a lot for the One Thousand Dried Bone. However, when it came to assembling items, collecting materials was always troublesome, and you had to bring out the perseverance of Monster Hunter players and the diligent spirit of Dark Souls players ¹ …

But fortunately, the results weren’t too bad.

Fatty Luo had been extraordinarily successful at making the scabbard; he had made three for Jingke, which were all from the same materials but in slightly different sizes.

In the afternoon, Grenade-Throwing Senior Immortal came to Fatty Luo’s shop himself for a look, and discovered that the shop’s doorstep was gone. It was only later that he found out that Fatty Luo had dismantled his doorstep because it was made of Amitayus wood, which was the main material for forging the three scabbards…

“I remember that Amitayus wood is a major heirloom in Brother Luo’s family.” Grenade-Throwing Senior Immortal was stunned by Fatty Luo’s fervor.

“This small sacrifice is nothing for my Lord Jingke.” Fatty Luo waved his hand in a relaxed manner. “Come! Senior Immortal, please have a look at these three scabbards!”

He opened a rectangular box, which contained Jingke’s scabbards.

Fatty Luo proudly gave an introduction. “The first scabbard is the virtuous daughter Amitayus scabbard, which is designed with a Type-C interface – Lord Jingke can sheath himself through the front or even the back if he wants.”

“…”

“The second scabbard is the silky smooth Amitayus scabbard. While it’s mostly made of Amitayus wood on the outside, the inside is comprised of One Thousand Dried Bone and smooth stone. When Lord Jingke thrusts inside, his body will feel wonderfully moisturized, like from a hydrating face mask, and he can enjoy the silky smoothness ² …”

“…”

“The third scabbard is the tight Virgo Amitayus scabbard. The mouth of this scabbard is small, which can give Lord Jingke a sense of playful resistance when he thrusts inside. The ridged pattern inside the scabbard is also one of its selling points; it’ll change from day to day, so Lord Jingke will never get bored…” Fatty Luo said.

“Then… what does this third scabbard have to do with Virgo?” Grenade-Throwing Senior Immortal couldn’t resist asking.

“It just sounds more sophisticated to call it Virgo; you’ll actually understand if you replace the ‘o’ with ‘in,’” Fatty Luo replied.

The designs for these three scabbards were so shocking that Grenade-Throwing Senior Immortal almost dropped the melon seeds he was holding as he froze at Fatty Luo’s words for the longest time…

He really didn’t know how to feel about these three scabbards, and could only change the topic as he asked another question. “As… as expected of Brother Luo. These three scabbards are all good. However, I noticed that they seem to be slightly different in size. What’s the reason for this?”

“Nothing in particular. These three scabbards were all made for Lord Jingke, but I don’t know what he likes. Some sword spirits like loose scabbards which are comfortable, while some prefer tighter scabbards – it’s like Durex… Does Senior Immortal prefer the loose, tight or ultra-thin ones?”

Grenade-Throwing Senior Immortal: “…”

Fatty Luo was utterly immersed in his masterpiece. “I fell deeply in love with Lord Jingke the moment I saw him… To be able to make scabbards for Lord Jingke has been my life’s greatest wish. Now that they’re done, I don’t know whether he’ll like them or not, but I have no regrets. No matter what, I believe that Lord Jingke will definitely be able to sense how I feel, right?”

Grenade-Throwing Senior Immortal wiped his sweat; he didn’t want to dampen Fatty Luo’s enthusiasm. “Maybe… perhaps… Brother Jingke will be very touched when he sees them?”

“He has to be.” The corners of Fatty Luo’s mouth curled up. “My goal in designing these three scabbards was that they would be so comfortable that Lord Jingke wouldn’t want to come out of them – who knows, once he’s inside, he might never want to move again!”