The Daily Life of the Immortal King

The prophetic dream felt as real as the last time, so much so that it felt like an out-of-body experience for Loopy Toad. When it woke up, it was stunned to realized that it had sweated so much that the floor was utterly wet. But for the fact that this sweat didn’t smell at all, people who saw this would definitely think that Loopy Toad had pissed itself!

The moment it had fallen into the dream, it felt that it had really become a statue.

Mn, perhaps it was already a statue now!

Six years had passed and the clan officials should have already confirmed Loopy Toad’s death. In six years, they could pull down several statues and build new ones, let alone set up one extra statue in the Hall of Valor.

Agitated, Loopy Toad scratched its head. It never expected its second prophetic dream to be about the clan…

Every word of Elder Wen’s cry for help couldn’t be any clearer to Loopy Toad and was like a thunderclap in its ears.

After Loopy Toad’s death, the Sky-Swallowing Toad clan hadn’t enthroned a new king for a very long time, and was on the verge of war with an enemy clan, the Nine Nether Python clan.

Loopy Toad knew that a clan without a leader to guide them and an ongoing lack of morale would without doubt lose in battle.

Taking large gulps of air, it lifted its head and saw that Little Master Ling was doing his homework, so it quietly lay back down on the floor.

Honestly speaking, Loopy Toad didn’t know how to bring it up… In theory, given its current form, it already no longer had anything to do with the Sky-Swallowing Toad clan, but it clearly remembered every word that Elder Wen had uttered in the Hall of Valor in its dream.

Six years and no new king…

As the most senior official in the clan, Elder Wen had all along firmly believed that it was still alive.

This was hard for Loopy Toad to believe, and its heart was suddenly a tangled mix of emotions, though it couldn’t tell whether it was regret or emotional sentiment.

It had to work something out!

If it really couldn’t think of a way… it would just look for Wang Ling and sellmeng …

…

It was a rare, tranquil night, and nothing was happening in the chat group.

Taoist Guang was occupied with researching live streaming and garage kits, Wang Ling was busy doing revision and reading books. Grenade-Throwing Senior Immortal was at Wang Ming’s lab studying the sword qi on that Taoist robe, and Little Silver was struggling to walk out of the shadow of getting his heart broken…

Meanwhile, Father Wang was racking his brains in his study for the words to use as he launched a new round of attack against keyboard warriors ¹ .

Originally, Father Wang’s daily battle against the keyboard warriors took place on his phone while he was on the toilet. Now that Mother Wang had forcibly switched to thermal toilets, Father Wang couldn’t sit for more than two minutes before he had to stand up – if he sat for too long, he’d only need a dash of cumin to become teppanyaki.

So he could now only sacrifice some of his time watching female live streamer Little Xuan to clear the comments section of his book and do battle with the Internet trolls.

Father Wang had a lot of fans, but a lot of fans also meant a lot of trolls.

There were always trolls, no matter how well-written a book was.

Father Wang remembered when he had first started out and wasn’t that popular yet, and had encountered one or two trolls. He had enjoyed using his author account to directly fight them. Now that he was well-known, he would pick particular keyboard warriors to fight.

Mostly he randomly trash talked the trolls on the official website. As for the ones he suspected of being water army ² trolls, Father Wang had already long stopped replying to them, and directly banned them permanently and deleted their comments! Out of sight, out of mind! As long as it was within his authority, he did whatever he wanted!

After grinding the mill for so many years in the online novel circle, Father Wang had gradually identified some of the traits of these Internet trolls.

Firstly, they were generally pirate users who weren’t subscribers.

When they were unhappy after reading a novel on a pirate website, they would start to disparage it. And then, as if afraid the author wouldn’t see it, they would specially register for an account on the official website to continue slamming it.

So every time Father Wang saw these troll side accounts that didn’t subscribe to any books and had an overall total of zero fan contribution points, he would sigh with regret: Why were there so many bored people in the world? Ultimately, it was the teachers who gave them too little homework!

Secondly, trolls generally liked to talk about their experiences.

This bunch of trolls were a bit stronger than those who only knew how to talk trash. They especially liked to use quotes or provide examples to demonstrate that they had read a lot of books and possessed great wisdom. They thought they were very clever and liked to make random comparative deductions in which they stepped on the author they were criticizing and praised the one they liked… Little did they know that the authors in the circle all had good relationships with each other! They gave each other gifts and engaged in cheerful banter.

Father Wang’s conclusion about this type of Internet troll was: these guys probably had their brains switched with placenta at birth, leading to stunted intelligence. Only their bodies had matured, not their brains. Truly smart and experienced people were very low-key and would never show off.

Thirdly, trolls generally didn’t finish reading the whole book before they started commenting on it.

Actually, Father Wang saw this type of troll a lot. He felt that if you wanted to comment on a book, you had to at the very least read the official version, and finish reading seventy to eighty percent of it before giving your opinion! If you paid for it, and felt that you had bought a bad product, leaving a negative review was your prerogative. But if you didn’t pay for the book and only read a meagre few chapters before starting to leave groundless comments, Father Wang felt that this type of people were losers in life.

Father Wang had seen a lot of anti-fans and Internet trolls over the years, and in fact they no longer surprised him. If he could directly ban them, he would; there was no need to trade nonsense with them. In instances where he couldn’t wield his authority, mobilizing his fans to report them also wasn’t a bad strategy.

Every time he saw someone forward a troll comment in the official readers groups, he would tell his fans not to get agitated and not to hurl abuse at them: everyone sending a smiley was good enough.

People were forever people, monkeys were forever monkeys; it was stupid trying to debate with monkeys.

Of course, there was one exception, and that was when Father Wang encountered trolls that not only attacked him but also his readers.

Whether a person read official or pirated copies of a novel was actually related to the current state of a nation. But no matter what kind of readers they were, Father Wang didn’t want his readers to be willfully attacked and trod upon by these trolls.

This was Father Wang’s bottom line…

…

In front of the screen, Father Wang lit a cigar and puffed on it.

He had just read a very interesting long comment in a readers group. It had been forwarded by a loyal official reader from some pirate app. The ID of the troll who had posted this comment was “Three Vats of Meng Po Soup.”

This troll perfectly encapsulated all the traits mentioned above: not only had he slammed the work and the author, he had even roasted the fans. He thought that the fans who read Father Wang’s works were fourteen- to sixteen-year-old teens whose three views had yet to be formed. The most ludicrous part was when this troll voiced his suspicions at the bottom of the post that Father Wang might have brushed up his reader numbers on the pirate app!

Standing next to Father Wang, Lie Mengmeng couldn’t help exclaiming after he finished reading the post, “This guy has rocks in his head! What author would brush up reader numbers on a pirate app?”

Father Wang laughed. “This is already more than this guy’s brain being switched with placenta at birth; when he was born, his mother probably abandoned him and raised the placenta in his place…”

Lie Mengmeng: “…”

“Are you going to return fire?”

“Return fire? Of course!”

Attacking him was fine, but to attack his fans – that was unforgivable!

Father Wang raised his eyebrows and his fingers flew over the keyboard.

After thinking up a Chinese couplet ³ , he posted it.

The first line: Keyboard Big Shot Criticizes A lot

The second line: Pirate Hero Teaches Fish to Swim

The horizontal scroll: M! D! Z! Z! ⁴

Lie Mengmeng: “…”