Chapter 183 - Chapter 183: Who Do You Choose?
Chapter 183: Who Do You Choose?
Translator: Dragon Boat Translation Editor: Dragon Boat Translation
“No!” Gu Ci shook her head decisively, “I’ve never thought that way.”
“He doesn’t like you, so you seek comfort in me? Pretending that we are the same person, you have his protection and my companionship and affection. Gu Ci, you’re quite greedy.”
Gu Ci felt heartache and confusion. They shared memories with each other. They were clearly one person, so why deny themselves and make her deny it too?
“It’s ridiculous, I’m already emotionally dead inside, yet i still worry about your mental instability and inability to handle stress. I don’t want to pressure you into making a choice.” Lu Zhiyuan knew that he had lost, that Third Master could do everything that he could, everything he was capable of, but he couldn’t do what Third Master could. He truly had no reason to exist.
His pride also didn’t allow Gu Ci to love him and love Third Master too.
“I like you, have liked you for many years.” Lu Zhiyuan confessed in the autumn breeze, his voice carrying a hint of sadness. Gu Ci was caught off guard by this confession, and tears welled up in her eyes.
After lifetimes, she finally heard the words “i like you,” but it felt like a farewell.
He wanted to let her go because she had made him despair and suffer.
“I was three when 1 developed split personalities. i shared my body with Third Master. When he first appeared, I resisted him strongly, so he could only manifest briefly and not during the night. This continued until I turned eight. It finally solidified that I’m Lu Zhiyuan during the day and he’s Lu Zhiyuan at night. I suffered, resisted, but had no choice but to accept fate’s arrangement. My father thought I was ill and arranged numerous psychologists to torment me. One day, i don’t know what Third Master said, but the doctors vanished suddenly. We lived in peace after that, until i realized I had feelings for you. But 1 can’t even control my own body. How can I have the right to like someone? If I’m with you and you find out, I’d be considered mentally ill. What should I do then? I don’t want to see pity in your eyes. So, I distanced myself from you, avoided you, and just wanted to silently protect you from afar.”
“It just so happened that you disliked me too, and we coexisted peacefully. Yet, you brought Gu Ziyu into my life, forcefully entering my world. i felt happy but anxious. I feared you discovering my secret, yet paradoxically, I wanted you to know and still choose me.” There was pain in Lu Zhiyuan’s eyes. “Lu Ze chose him, I thought at least… someone would choose me. I didn’t expect both of you to choose him. I’ve humiliated myself. Turns out, I’m the expendable one. When I learned that you liked Third Master, I felt anger, jealousy, and hatred. Among billions of people in the world, why did it have to be me? With this condition, I can’t escape it or change it. I wanted Third Master dead, but aside from death, I couldn’t think of any solution. He’s like my shadow, trailing me for a lifetime. I thought you couldn’t distinguish between me and Third Master, that’s why you fell for two people. But now 1 see, you can tell us apart.”
Lu Zhiyuan, proud and strong, had only wavered in his feelings for Gu Ci.
“I’m tired of this three-way entanglement. I don’t even want to know if Third master truly likes you or dislikes you. Gu Ci, i only want one answer from you. Who will you choose?” A fallen leaf landed on Lu Zhiyuan’s shoulder and then lifted with the wind before settling on the ground. “If you choose me, don’t see Third Master anymore. Accept only half of me. If you choose Third Master, please… stay away from my sight.”
Gu Ci looked at him with aching heart. The moment of decision had arrived.
Ever since Lu Zhiyuan had taken her to Bodhi Mountain, she had a premonition that he had a decision deep within him. He just wanted her to gradually make that decision. When Pei Qiuying took her away and Third Master reappeared, witnessing her madness, he finally crossed his limit.
Lu Zhiyuan said, “I will never accept being a second choice. Loving two people, no matter how stubbornly you insist we’re the same, I won’t accept it. I am who I am, Lu Zhiyuan, not Third Master!”
As Gu Ci watched his retreating figure, tears streamed down her face. This love triangle had finally shattered their calm. A choice had to be made. She recalled that day in the garden when Lu Zhiyuan had fiercely declared war against Third Master, asking him to stay away from her.
He had always suppressed his emotions, jealousy, and madness, trying his best to appear calm and composed in front of her. He feared that she might be triggered, even though his heart was torn apart, he still left her with the last traces of tenderness.
Holding a cup of milk tea, Gu Ci squatted under the ginkgo tree, burying her head. Tears wet her knees. She felt heartache for the vulnerable side of Lu Zhiyuan she had peeled away, and suffered from the entangled and unresolved emotions.
After being reborn, this was the first time she had felt hopeless.
Passersby walked by, often looking back. The girl under the ginkgo tree shifted her shoulders slightly, stubbornly not wanting others to see her sadness. People only thought she was a girl nursing a broken heart, licking her wounds.
Her phone vibrated, and Lu Zhiyuan sent a short message.
Lu Zhiyuan: I’m going to F country tomorrow for pre-competition training. I hope after this match, you can give me an answer.
Gu Ci: Okay.
In the afternoon, Gu Ci skipped class and came to the hospital in a daze. Dr. North was taken aback when she saw her expression. She helped her sit down and asked, “Cici, what’s wrong? Did someone bully you?”
There were tears on her eyelashes, like delicate ice flowers that would shatter at the slightest touch. Dr. North gently wiped away her tears. Gu Ci was the most gifted girl she had seen in terms of medicine. She was quick to understand, with a resolute and strong personality. Although she was a girl, her eyes held stories, a pair of eyes that had endured countless hardships yet still sought survival.
Strong, yet fragile; contradictory, yet harmonious.
Who made her so heartbreakingly desolate?
“Master, I feel so sad…” Gu Ci kept replaying Lu Zhiyuan’s words in her mind. She felt for Lu Zhiyuan’s pain and the shattered family from her previous life. After her rebirth, she had dealt with Lu Shijie and Gu Chuyun so they were no longer a threat. She had changed her fate. Yet at this moment, she realized that fate had never changed. She hadn’t escaped the nightmares of her past life.
She had drawn lines on the ground, imprisoning herself within, unable to break free.
Dr. North gently held her in her arms, patting her shoulder, thinking of the love story Gu Ci had mentioned. She sighed but didn’t say anything, offering only gentle solace.
She wasn’t Gu Ci; she couldn’t truly understand. From the girl’s eyes, she could see the pain.
“It will pass, Cici!” Dr. North said, “All suffering will eventually pass.”
Gu Ci shook her head in agony. Unless she lost her memory, her suffering would never fade. She felt like a shattered person, her body moving forward while her soul remained stuck in place.
“Do you want to talk to your master about it?”
Gu Ci had many things on her mind, all bottled up inside..