Chapter 206
Leaving the Sadness to Myself
Lin Meiyue was much more careful compared to Gu Yuan. She treated “Chu Luoxun,” who was not related to her by blood, as her own sister. It so happened that the effort ‘Chu Luoxun’ had put into ‘assisting’ her was even higher than her own biological sister.
This probably was a juvenile novel, where the whole world was assisting the male protagonist and the heroine.
Whether Lin Meiyue and Gu Yuan would be able to be sure of their relationship without “Chu Luoxun,” even the Goddess was not confident about it.
Therefore, Lin Meiyue brought ‘Chu Luoxun’ some comforting goods; they were all her favorite sweets, cakes, chocolate, etc. Then, ‘Chu Luoxun’ smiled even brighter, of course, and hugged Lin Meiyue, saying, it was too bad that she was not a man, otherwise, she would marry her!
That’s right. Lin Meiyue was a very gentle, kind and innocent girl, carrying the most beautiful soul. Unfortunately, she was not good at expressing herself which made her easy to miss.
‘Chu Luoxun’ had even warned Gu Yuan to treat her well. If not, she would keep haunting him, even when she becomes a ghost!
At that moment, she was extremely lively and optimistic. Thus, when Lin Meiyue inquired on her condition, she confidently replied “Well, it is just a general body check-up! I am fine; there is nothing wrong with my body!”
However, Gu Yuan doubted it, for this was already her second ‘check-up’ within a short span of time. He could not restrain himself and ask, “Didn’t you just go for one not long ago?”
His meaning was clear. Why would someone go for a body check-up again, in such a short period of time?
As usual, ‘Chu Luoxun’ remained smiling, and said without any hesitation, “There was nothing unusual before this, so nothing unusual was required. But, there seems to be a problem with my head now, and it looks like I’ll have to stay here for a bit.”
It turns out that she had collapsed on her way to the competition and had bruised her beautiful face and radiant forehead
The injury was nothing more than a graze. It was not the reason why she lay in bed now, but she had used it to cover up the fact that something far more severe ailed her.
“I get tired easily, and I may have overexerted myself a wee bitI will be fine after resting adequately, and you’ll soon see me back in school again!” The energetic voice of ‘Chu Luoxun’ always made people feel that she is indeed vigorous, if you could look past that hollow, pale face.
After hearing that, the innocent Lin Meiyue was happy for her, of course. She wished ‘Chu Luoxun’ a speedy recovery and hoped to continue learning the violin from her.
Nevertheless, Gu Yuan still did not believe her. He felt that her answer had the makings of a pre-prepared speech.
‘Chu Luoxun’ was not as nave as Lin Meiyue. She had a keen mind, and she could see through any smokescreen and superficiality with just one look, just like how she noticed that Gu Yuan and Lin Meiyue liked each other. Then, with her various forms of assistance and match-making efforts, they finally held each other hands and confirmed their relationship as a couple.
The Goddess Chu was a girl who completely understood the ways of the world.
In reality ‘Chu Luoxun’ had the same disease as Gu Yuan’s late mother. Her body would slowly become weak; she would not lose her strength to even lift the violin and, she wouldn’t be able to even walk. She would have to remain in a wheelchair
This was fate. This was karma.
By this, it perfectly fulfilled the stereotypical drama and structure of a juvenile novel, just like the proverb that goes “without coincidences, there can be no stories.” However, would reality ever bear witness to such ridiculous coincidences?
After Gu Yuan and Lin Meiyue left the room, the smile on ‘Chu Luoxun’ face disappeared. Giving her smile to the world and other people while leaving the sadness to herself, was already second nature to her.
Hence, she had written a song named “I Left the Sadness to Myself” according to what she felt—
I think it’s because I wasn’t gentle enough
I can’t share my sadness
Leaving the sadness to my self
Letting you take off with your beauty
Thereafter
I have no reason to be happy anymore
I think I can bear the sadness
Pretending that you’ve never entered my life before
Think of me occasionally
Can you think of me too
Can you
Can you
Of course, the “you” referred to the “performance.” As for a girl who loved music with her life, how sorrowful would it be, to lose the ability to “perform”?
Leng Zi, the creator, pointed this out after rereading the lyrics in the novel.
However, the gang of ‘Chu Luoxun’ would disagree with her explanations. Instead, they would think that this song had been dedicated to Gu Yuan and, “your beauty” was clearly referring to Lin Meiyue!
Besides that, “I think it’s because I wasn’t gentle enough” fulfilled the characteristics of “Chu Luoxun.” She was very optimistic, tough and confident, yet, she seldom portrayed the tenderness of a little girl, creating a distinct contrast between herself and Lin Meiyue, who was careful and gentle. Even Gu Yuan has said before, that the understanding and caring personality of Lin Meiyue attracted him the most.
These were nowhere to be found in ‘Chu Luoxun’ who was careless, mean and vigorous.
She would always force him to move on without considering his opinions, be it placing him on the stage, or choosing “Liebesleid” for him. If it is Lin Meiyue, she would not have used such assertive methods.
To be honest, most men would prefer a girl like Lin Meiyue. As for an eye-catching goddess like “Chu Luoxun,” her tenderness would only exist in music. Along with that, her vulnerability, loneliness, sadness
Nonetheless, it had been proven that she had allowed a once fallen genius to rise up again, better than he ever was. He was not a pianist who performed according to the music book, but a pianist who could form an intense resonance with the audiences!
Could this be considered as the tenderness of ‘Chu Luoxun’?
Inside the ward, ‘Chu Luoxun’ put down the song that she had completed as the nurse stepped in. Apparently, she was not come to check on her, but to refill the drip. All sorts of medicine were strewn across her tray, indicating that she was going to be damned soon.
Upon seeing the nurse, ‘Chu Luoxun’ showed her bright smile again. Even the nurse could not resist her charm. The nurse could only flash her a sad, sorrowful smile. She was feeling absolutely sorry for the fate of this beautiful young girl.
She did not know that ‘Chu Luoxun’ knew how to play the violin, but she knew that ‘Chu Luoxun’ could play the guitar. She would sing and play in the garden of the hospital whenever she had the energy; all of which would be her own her songs, each of them as pleasant as she was. One would be lost in the sound of her voice, unknown to time, nor known to self.
She was unsure when this rapid deterioration begun, but she sure felt like a flower that was slowly withering away, as she did not have the energy to sing anymore. All she could do was to hold a pen and keep writing new songs, while continuing to pursue her love for music in what way she can
Translator’s Thoughts
Tch1123
Tonicquill: Kyoukai Senjou No Horizon. Check it out. The protag was crazy enough to make a vow with the powers that be in exchange for a powerful boost in abilities, on the condition that he doesnt get sad, ever. If he drops his smile for an instance, he would DIE. Anyway, hope you enjoyed the chapter.