Chapter 322 The Selfless Condom, the Lifeless Condom
Chapter 322 The Selfless Condom, the Lifeless Condom
After hearing Mei Niang's words, Li Yundong's face darkened, as if the Kitchen God had been reborn. His face turned ashen and he did not say anything. Su Chan, Zhou Qin, and the rest of the people from the Fox Zen Sect were all very sensitive. When they saw Li Yundong's solemn expression, they all carefully remained silent.
Only Mei Niang turned to look at Wu Hua and Xiao Zhu. Then she said, "Boss Li, I originally thought that you had fallen in love with Xiao Zhu at first sight, but unexpectedly, you let a monk take advantage of a prostitute and have his fun without even paying for it. Tsk, tsk, Boss Li, you are really very pious..."
Li Yundong's face became darker and darker. He said in a low voice, "Don't talk nonsense. Great master Wu Hua is a monk of the enlightenment. He just wants to..."
Before he could finish his words, he suddenly saw Wu Hua holding Xiao Zhu's hand. The two of them had walked into the room as a couple. Before Master Wu Hua walked into the room, he turned around, grinned at Li Yundong, and then closed the door!
Li Yundong's eyes suddenly went blank. He couldn't help but say, "Christ, what are they doing?"
Next to him, Mei Niang curled her lips and said casually, "What else would a young man and a young woman be doing alone in a room? Tsk, Boss Li, you aren't still a virgin, are you?"
Li Yundong was filled with a mixture of shame and rage. "You talk too much! Of course I know about that kind of thing!" He cursed in his heart. "Wu Hua, Even if you are going to enlighten this woman, don't make things look so ambiguous, okay? The current situation is like I have a piece of mud in my pants. Even if it's not sh*t, it might as well be now!"
Mei Niang covered her mouth and looked up and down at Li Yundong. "Boss Li, are you really a virgin?" The look in her eyes made it seem as though she were looking at a peerless treasure, a rare creature.
Li Yundong's depression deepened. Before he could lose his temper, Su Chan next to him became unhappy. She couldn't help but say in a burst of anger, "You are such a nuisance. No one is going to take you as a mute just because you don't talk!"
Zhou Qin also said with a cold look on his face, "How much is the prostitution fee? Get the money and leave quickly!"
Li Yundong glared at Zhou Qin and said, "What do you mean the prostitution fee? This isn't prostitution, okay?"
Seeing that everyone was getting angry, Mei Niang immediately smiled and said, "Okay, okay. Boss Li, you can say whatever you want. As long as you give me money, everything will be easy to discuss!"
Feeling livid, Li Yundong spat, "How much? I'll pay!"
Mei Niang rolled her eyes, then raised two fingers and said, "One price, two thousand!"
"Two thousand?" Zhou Qin and Su Chan shouted at the same time. Zhou Qin said angrily, "Do you think this prostitute is some kind of fairy that's come down from heaven to earth? She costs two thousand!?"
Mei Niang said leisurely, "Not a fairy who has come from heaven to earth. However, Xiao Zhu did come from the Heavenly World. Earlier, the Heavenly World was sealed, so Xiao Zhu went to Dongguan, but Dongguan is not safe these days. That's why she came to my place. So, two thousand is a very low price for a girl from the Heavenly World!"
Zhou Qin was so angry that her face turned red. When she frowned and was about to scold Mei Niang, Li Yundong quickly stopped her. He said impatiently, "Well, here is two thousand yuan. Take the money and leave quickly."
After that, he fished out two thousand yuan and handed it over to Mei Niang. Then, he ordered her to leave. "Count it if you like, it'll be enough for you. Hurry up and go back to where you come from!"
Mei Niangiang skillfully counted the bills and then slipped them into her pocket. She grinned at him and said, "There's no need for Mr. Li to be so heartless. I came with Xiao Zhu, so I will naturally have to leave with her. The Tian Long Taoist temple is quite famous. I'm going to look around today and just consider this as a nice little trip."
Then, she walked alone to the other parts of the Taoist temple. Before going round the corner, she turned and waved to Li Yundong, saying, "Boss Li, don't worry about me. I'll just look around."
Li Yundong was angered by Mei Niang's words. Su Chan, Zhou Qin, and the others were grumbling and cursing in the direction Mei Niang had left in.
But at this time, sounds of laughter from the man and woman could be heard coming from the room again. Li Yundong and the others were all cultivators. Although the sound was faint, they could hear it very clearly. Cao Yi smiled awkwardly and said, "Master Wuhua is indeed an eminent monk. His way of enlightment is indeed different from others'."
Although Zhou Qin had not begun cultivation, the Qi of Yuanyin and Yuanyang in her body was not shallow. She also heard the voice clearly. After her cheeks had turned slightly red, she sneered and said, "What eminent monk? I think he is just a dirty monk, the first lecherous monk in history!"
Li Yundong agreed with Zhou Qin's words, however, he also needed Wu Hua's help at this time, so he was subconsciously unwilling to regard him as such a depraved person. He said in blame, "Zhou Qin, don't talk nonsense. Maybe he is really enlightening the woman now."
Zhou Qin was unconvinced and said, "Have you ever heard of this kind of enlightenment? Unless this Master Wu Hua practices Mandkesvara!"
Li Yundong's expression grew dark once more and he shouted at Zhou Qin, Su Chan, and the other foxes who were watching, "What are you doing here? Make yourselves scarce. Don't keep eavesdropping here"
With his loud shout, some little foxes who had come to watch the fun quickly fled in all directions. Only Su Chan, Zhou Qin, Cao Yi followed Li Yundong and moved further away from the house.
Zhou Qin said to Li Yundong, "Master, it's not that I'm being rude, I'm just sure that Wu Hua is a dirty monk."
Li Yundong glanced at her and said angrily, "Want to bet?"
Zhou Qin replied, "I bet it will take a long time for him to come out."
Li Yundong was confused. "Why would you choose that as the bet?"
Zhou Qin's face turned a little red as she said, "What else can a man and a woman do in a room alone?"
Li Yundong suddenly understood. He scolded her with a smile, "That's silly. Can we even bet on such a thing?"
Just then, he heard the door suddenly creak and saw Wu Hua walk out of the room and head straight for Li Yundong.
Li Yundong laughed, turned his head, and said to Zhou Qin in a low voice, "I said Wu Hua was not a lecher, right? Look, he's come out, hasn't he?"
When he saw Wu Hua walking toward him, he came forward and put his palms together, asking, "Master, what can I do for you?"
With a solemn face, Wu Hua put his own palms together devoutly and looked steadily at Li Yundong. He sighed, saying nothing.
Li Yundong asked in confusion, "What's wrong? Is there something you're not satisfied with?"
Wu Hua shook his head, still not speaking.
Li Yundong couldn't help looking back questioningly at Zhou Qin. He wanted to know whether she knew something about Wu Hua's train of thought.
But Zhou Qin was also feeling confused. She didn't know why Wu Hua had come out half-way through the process. Zhou Qin shook her head at Li Yundong blankly, indicating that she didn't know anything.
Li Yundong saw that Zhou Qin didn't know either. He couldn't help but turn his eyes to Su Chan and Cao Yi. They looked just as clueless and shook their heads blankly. He felt like he was losing it and thought to himself, "You are a bunch of charlatans playing tricks all day long. Can't you just say everything directly? If you want something, just say it right out. I have even found a whore for you! What else do you still need!?"
Li Yundong suppressed his anger and bowed to Master Wu Hua, putting his palms together. He said, "Master, you can be frank with me. I will do what I can for you."
Wu Hua let out a long sigh and said, "I was grateful to you for helping me find Xiao Zhu. I wanted to talk about the old days with her, but I hadn't considered..."
Li Yundong saw him stop again at the critical moment, so he quickly asked, "You didn't consider what?"
Wu Hua sighed with regret and said, "But I didn't consider... condoms!" As he said that, he looked at Li Yundong eagerly. "Zhenren Li, do you have a condom?"
"Oh my God!"
Li Yundong and the others was so shocked that thought they might die right on the spot.
Li Yundong's face went blank, and he couldn't speak for a long time. Zhou Qin's expression was weird, and the corners of her mouth were twitching, as though she was trying her best to hold back her laugher. Cao Yi's expression was even more bizarre. She glanced at Li Yundong, and then quickly turned around, covering her mouth with one hand as her shoulders shook.
Su Chan didn't understand at first, but she quickly realized what was going on. Her face flushed red, and she burst out laughing.
Hearing her laughter, Li Yundong and Wu Hua looked at her at the same time.
Su Chan quickly covered her mouth with both hands and widened her eyes. She looked at Li Yundong and then Wu Hua.
Li Yundong's eyes were full of resentment, but Wu Hua was looking at her with puzzled eyes and she asked, "Benefactress, what are you laughing at?"
Su Chan didn't dare to speak. She was afraid that she would not be able to stop laughing if she opened her mouth. The little girl just shook her head like a rattle.
Wu Hua sighed and said, "One of Buddha's sayings is 'without my image, there are no living things'. Benefactress, do you know what this means? You're in the wrong!"
Li Yundong had already confirmed Wu Hua was indeed a perverted monk. His resentment was soaring. He said angrily in his heart, "F*ck, you're obviously the first pervert monk since ancient times. How dare you still pretend to be some holy man? I've discovered that you are an eminent monk only in the realm of perverted monks, and a perverted monk in the realm of the eminent monks."
Li Yundong pulled a long face and said, "Master Wu Hua, I only know the saying of 'the selfless condom, the lifeless condom'."
"What the heck does that mean?" Wu Hua asked in surprise.
Li Yundong said with a gloomy face, "It means that I don't have a condom, and neither do the others!"
As soon as he had finished speaking, Su Chan, Zhou Qin, Cao Yi, and the others couldn't help laughing audibly. However, as soon as they laughed out loud, they felt that they were being inappropriate. They quickly covered their mouths again and laughed so hard in their hearts that their intestines almost burst.
Cao Yi choked back his laughter and said to Li Yundong, "Leader, I... I still have something to do, I..." Before she could even finish her words, she turned around quickly and walked away. As she walked, her shoulders shook and she burst out laughing.
Li Yundong glanced at Cao Yi's back and saw that Su Chan and Zhou Qin had been holding back their amusement for a while. Eventually, they could not hold it in anymore. One of them was squatting on the ground, gasping for air, while the other was laughing so hard that her whole body was shaking.
Li Yundong glared at them and said, "Stop laughing!"
As soon as Su Chan and Zhou Qin heard his words, they took deep breaths and stopped laughing at the same time. However, their bodies were still trembling, their eyebrows were moving, the corners of their eyes were twitching, and their faces were distorted.
Seeing their unruly behavior, Li Yundong couldn't help laughing despite himself. He waved his hand and shouted, "Get out of here and laugh somewhere else!"
Su Chan and Zhou Qin felt greatly relieved. They quickly scurried away, making themselves scare. After a while, he heard peals of laughter.
Li Yundong looked in the direction they'd left in, feeling both angry and amused. He turned around, sighed helplessly at Wu Hua, and said, "Master, I don't know whether you are torturing me on purpose or not, but for the sake of my sincerity, please don't make fun of me anymore. Please tell me the whereabouts of Ao Wushuang!"
Wu Hua smiled and put his palms together. "I am not torturing you on purpose. I'm just doing what I want. Taoists generals don't need to worry about cultivation, and Buddhists also have the saying that we're free to do whatever we want. It's to be expected that you'd think I'm a dirty monk. Since I started cultivating, I've been doing everything based on my own will. Not only did I change the name my master gave me, I also went to all kinds of entertainment venues. I don't look like a monk at all. Heh, if others laugh at me for being too crazy, I'll laugh at them for not seeing through me! You want to know Ao Wushuang's whereabouts, don't you? It's simple. I can tell you now!"
Li Yundong was overjoyed and hurriedly asked, "Where is she?"
Wu Hua said meaningfully, "Very close, yet so far away!"
Just then, Li Yundong suddenly heard an extremely frightened and shrill scream coming from the direction of the Taoist temple.