Chapter 11 I Want to Die (2)
“Ahh,” However, he seemed to have not listened at all. Instead, he eyed Leah’s body, which didn’t have even the slightest scar and licked his lips.
“Let’s do it one more time.”
She opened her mouth in astonishment. Unlike Leah, who was sore and aching all over, he showed no signs of fatigue. A sharp glint started reflecting in his eyes, which were dim just a moment ago.
Leah shook her head in disgust as she felt the familiar scorching heat rising in the chamber.
The man let out a deep chuckle. However, he still wrapped his arms around her delicate waist, trapping her for good. Unrelentless, Leah kicked and wriggled out from his grasp but suddenly stopped upon noticing something.
Her eyes studied his body. Last night, they had a hot exchange in the dark. Hence, she missed this queer detail.
The man’s body was clean, devoid of any tattoo.
All Kurkans that Leah had seen before were tattooed. Whether it was on their face, neck, and forearms, their skin bore large tattoos. This man, whom she recently shared intimacy, was the first Kurkan whose skin was clean of ink…
His golden eyes, domineering physique, and immeasurable strength—she was sure he was a member of the barbaric clan, but she could not understand why he was without a single mark.
The man, who noticed her looking at his body with her brows furrowed, hugged her closer.
“What are you curious about?”
Frowning, she looked up at his face, “You don’t have tattoos… Get a little farther so I can see.”
With her free arm, she pushed him away, but he remained close to her. To divert her attention, he left a trail of kisses on her cheeks and nose.
“Let us exchange information, one by one. If you answer my question, I will answer yours.”
Before Leah could agree, he threw out his first question.
“Why did you throw away your first experience overnight with an enemy?”
In the kingdom of Estia, the purity of the bride was paramount. This was an even more vital matter for the nobles as chastity could reflect the honor of the family. Hence, an impure bride could be legally divorced and, in worst cases, killed.
Not to mention Leah was a royal princess that would soon participate in an essential political marriage. If found impure, her honor would plummet to the ground, and so would her family’s.
There were many reasons she took this path. She didn’t want to give her purity to some old man 25 years older than her—one she had not met, one who seeks for fresh, younger meat to satiate his needs.
The marriage life awaiting her was no better either. Just like most wives of powerful nobles like Byun Gyongbaek, she would live a miserable life in his mundane palace. She would be wasting her youth. To her, this would be a more painful death.
The royal family sold her like a high-end product, thus, she would rejoice in ruining their reputation. Most of all, she wanted to let go of the troubling and painful life she had.
However, she could tell the man, so Leah avoided his gaze and just bit her lips.
“…..”
Sensing her reluctance, the man didn’t ask further. He smiled, laid on his side with one hand cradling his chiseled chin. He looked at Leah and said, “Don’t you want to run away?”
The thought was promising and genuinely tempting. At the edge of being persuaded, Leah came to her senses. It sounded like it could solve all her problems, but she knew that it would never happen.
She sighed, realizing that if she had let her guard down just a little more, she would have been unraveled by the man.
Truthfully, If she really wanted to, she could easily run away. The royal family had been rotting for a long time, and Leah had taken responsibility over the majority of the palace’s jobs herself. A little help, courage, and luck, she could leave Estia.
However, she didn’t want to do that. She didn’t want to live her whole life being chased like a criminal. Rather, she desired to leave this world and leave the royal family on their misery. And above all else…
She felt empty.
From the moment she realized she had been completely abandoned by her family, she had lost the will to live. She no longer wanted to live. Her hate was not directed to the royal family alone, but also to herself. She abhorred herself for devoting her life foolishly to the family who treated her awfully.
To retaliate and end her life, this was what Leah wanted the most. She slowly closed and opened her eyes. The man was silently waiting for her answer.
A one-night stand. Someone she would never see again. A conversation free from courtesy, formality and identity.
“I…”
In the spur of the moment, Leah uttered something she never told anyone.
“I want to die.”