Chapter 339 Wololo
"Make yourself at home, kid. There should be-- Oi, how many times do I have to tell you that isn't a toy!?"
"..."
Van's eyes traveled across the confines of the wooden hall he now finds himself in. The bearded old man, Bjorn, was busy trying to catch one of the children that littered the building, carefully chasing the little girl as she was carrying a long sharpened stick-- and considering its somewhat bloodied and darkened handle, the old man probably uses it for hunting.
There were also all sorts of weapons hanging on the walls; not really a good hobby, considering the old man was supposed to be running an orphanage.
Van was perplexed at first. An orphanage in Asgard? Where were the magical beings in the tales that were told to him?
And considering the chattering people he had passed by on the way here, not one of them seemed to know about the secret war that was growing outside of their Realm. But that wasn't even what was bothering Van, no.
This city… it feels like a normal one. It reminded him of the city of the Locals back in America's Pit. Of course, the fact that one of the children was currently carrying a shield that was three times heavier than him with ease was already a sign that the people here were all but normal, but still, it felt that way.
It was like there weren't any colossal creatures just hundreds of kilometers away from the city, it was like the citizens were completely oblivious of the dangers that were surrounding them. Either it was that-- or they were confident enough not to care.
And since they were the ruling entity in the 9 Realms, it was probably the latter.
"Enough!"
"Eek!"
Finally, all of the children that were tumultuously running around abruptly stopped. With Bjorn stomping his foot on the ground and causing the whole orphanage to quake, the kids all dropped whatever it was they were holding and quickly rushed in line in front of Bjorn.
"Estrid started it!"
"No, I didn't! Sigvat was the one who took the shield, I was just trying to retrieve it!"
"But why did you get the spear!?"
"I--"
"Enough!" Bjorn once again stomped his foot on the floor, causing the children that were lined up in front of him to slightly bounce from where they stood, "Can't you see we have a new guest!?"
"A guest? Him?"
"Isn't he too old to be here?"
"How old are you? I have seniority here even if you are older!"
"That's a good question, how old are you, kid?" Bjorn lightly stroked his beard as he turned to look at Van, who was just standing quietly at the entrance of the orphanage.
"13," Van replied without any hesitation. Based on the stories he had heard, the people of Asgard stop aging normally by the time they become full adults in terms of physique. So, the children of the orphanage were truly young individuals…
...But as for Bjorn, who knows how old he is for him to physically look old. He had only seen like 1 or 2 other individuals that looked to be the same age as Bjorn on the way here.
"Aha! You are the oldest now!" The female orphan called Estrid pointed at Van, before turning to look towards one of the taller male orphans of the group, "Your reign is over, Ulfrik! Your age means naught anymore!"
Estrid then once again picked up the spear she had dropped on the floor, stomping it on the ground 3 times before raising it in the air and letting out a warcry, "The throne had finally been passed! Wolololo!"
"Wolololo!"
And with that warcry, the 7 of the 8 children of the orphanage had once again started wreaking havoc. As for the ex-oldest, he was currently looking at Van straight in the eyes, his stares; like a dagger that wanted to stab Van a million times.
"I am still the tallest!" Ulfrik said as he stomped his way towards Van, trying to push the other children away as he did so, but sadly unsuccessful as their warcries continued to ring in his ear.
"..."
"I was right, still the tallest. Wolololo!" Ulfrik then joined the other children in their warcry as soon as he confirmed that he was, indeed, taller than Van.
Van, on the other hand, could not help but be slightly pissed off. He was already halfway to 18, and yet a child that is presumably not even 10 years old was taller than him. Where were the genes of the gods that were promised to him?
"They'll introduce themselves later to you once they warm up," Bjorn could not help but let out a sigh as he gave up in calming the children down, "Since you're the oldest, you're going to have to take in some responsibilities if you wish to stay here, is that alright with you?"
"It's… okay," Van nodded, "But when are we going to the River, Mister Bjorn?"
"Once I finish my tasks here. But you don't have to worry, if your parents are there, then they should be fairly safe," Bjorn said as he started picking up the mess that littered his floor, "But kid, let me tell you; if they had left you to fend for yourselves out there, then there are things you should be prepared of-- like them not wanting you back."
"...Hm," Van meekly nodded as he started helping Bjorn. The very reason he came with Bjorn was so that he could have a local guide him to the Gates of Asgard. As soon as he heard that the old man was running an orphanage, Van committed to his performance as an orphan.
Of course, he truly was an orphan-- but this was the first time he was playing the part.
Van had told Bjorn that the day before his parents had abandoned him, he heard them talking about going to the River. He told Bjorn that he truly wished to be reunited with his parents, and to do so, he needed to go to the River.
And to his expectations, Bjorn nodded his head and told Van that he would take him there. But first, he had some unfinished business and also needed to take care of the small orphanage he was running.
"Right, I am going to run some errands first, kid," Bjorn let out a small groan as he stretched his back, "You can place all the mess there, I'll just arrange them once I get back."
"Okay. Please be careful, Mister Bjorn."
Bjorn only grunted and waved his hand as he proceeded to leave the orphanage, leaving Van to deal with the rowdy children all by himself.
However, as soon as Bjorn shut the door, the children that were running around all stopped; before staring at Van and looking at him from head to toe.
"So, what's your name, eh?" Estrid was the first to speak as she placed her hand on her chin as if her gaze was truly trying to pierce through Van.
"Van," Van said as he let out a small smile.
"Van? Like the Vanir? Are you a Vanir?" One of the other children asked.
"Stupid, why would a Vanir be here."
"Who are you calling stupid!? You're stupid!"
"Yeah!? Your mother is stupid!"
"I never knew my mother, but she's probably smarter than your mother!"
"Stop speaking the bullshit, heathen!"
"Everyone, calm down!"
Van thought it would never end, but finally, the tallest of the group, Ulfrik, once again stomped his foot as he stroke his imaginary beard, "As the ex-oldest of this group, I demand a test of strength if this new addition to our ranks is truly worthy to be here!"
Ulfrik stretched his hand and opened up his palm, and as soon as he did so, the pile of blunt weapons that Van and Bjorn painstakingly cleaned up started to tremble. And soon, they exploded as a small hammer came flying straight towards Ulfrik's hand.
"..." Seeing this, Van could not help but squint his eyes. He already knew it beforehand, but the children of Asgard truly were something else.
"Behold, Mjolnir!" Ulfrik raised his hammer, creating a small trickle of lightning to poof out of it.
"Boo, fake!"
"Beat his ass, Van!"
Half of the group started cheering for Ulfrik, while the other half had their thumbs down. Van truly had no idea what he should do in this situation, but since he was tasked by Bjorn to take care of the children, then he should probably do just that so he would be inclined to take him to the River.
Besides, a little spanking won't hurt anyone, right?
And so, with that thought, Van quickly disappeared from his spot. And without even any warning, he slapped Ulfrik straight on the buttocks, causing him to slightly lift in the air.
Van was alarmed at first that maybe he used too much force, but seeing as Ulfric still had the energy to hop as he held his buttocks, he should be fine.
"Haha! Loser!"
"Pft, Mjolnir… more like No… no… more like… Pft, loser!"
"Ulfrik has fallen! Wolololo!"
And so, once again, the children started with their warcry, rolling their tongues as most of them circled around the grimacing Ulfrik.
"Go clean your mess after you're done," Van then said as he let out a sigh before taking a seat on the nearby sofa. He could not help but close his eyes as he finally had the time to relax, he had been running almost without pause since he entered Asgard, so he would take any chance he gets.
"So, you're finally here, huh?"
"Hm?"
Van then slowly opened his eyes as he felt someone sitting beside him-- Estrid.
"My calculation was way off, I thought you would arrive here last year…
...King Evans."