Chapter 67 - ID,Ego,Superego
Chapter 67: ID,Ego,Superego
Xiang Wan was stunned for quite a while.
Who else was related to Zhan Se? The answer was obvious to Xiang Wan.
For a moment, her heart was filled with a feeling of anticipation.
If it was Bai Muchuan who told Zhan Se, could this prove that… he had been watching her?
Xiang Wan’s brows furrowed and quickly replied to Zhan Se’s message to get a confirmation.
“Of course, let’s have dinner together. But, Senior, how did you know I’m in the capital now?”
“I’ll tell you when I see you later.”
Zhan Se played mysterious by not telling her and sent another message before Xiang Wan replied.
“You pick a place for dinner. I’ll come find you.”
Zhan Se was more familiar with the capital, so it would be more convenient for her to come looking for Xiang Wan.
“Okay.”
Although Zhan Se wanted to treat her dinner, Xiang Wan did not want to pick a place that was expensive.
She chose a restaurant that the public had given good ratings and the pricing range seemed alright and sent it to Zhan Se.
“How’s this one?”
“Hm, let me see.”
After a few minutes, Zhan Se replied, “Add me in WeChat, I’ll send you the GPS location.”
Zhan Se sent an ‘Add’ request in WeChat and Xiang Wan accepted it.
Ding! She sent a GPS location over.
“Let’s choose this one instead, it’s quite near to the one you chose earlier. The food there is good, and I’ve been there before.”
“Okay, you decide.”
“So, we’ll meet later?”
“Yes.”
…
After the two of them fixed a time, Xiang Wan put down her phone. And, when she looked at the laptop screen, she was no longer in the mood to write her story.
For a long while, she kept thinking about Bai Muchuan and felt restless. It was as if weeds were growing inside her heart.
The weeds grew so fast and so tall that they wrapped her heart; she started to feel difficulty in breathing.
She was unable to refuse Zhan Se’s invitation.
Earlier on, both of them never mentioned Bai Muchuan.
Yet she felt that this definitely had something to do with him.
Otherwise, there was no other explanation for Zhan Se to treat her to dinner as she and Zhan Se was not that familiar after all!
It must be him, she thought.
There were still a few more hours before their meeting time. As she was unable to calm herself down, she lied on the bed for around half an hour. Subsequently, she managed to regain her composure, put away all those feelings, and got out of bed.
She managed to write a chapter of 3,000 words.
Then, she uploaded the chapter for editing and publishing.
After finishing all these, it was already seven o’clock!
She started to get ready for the dinner appointment. She took out her cosmetics pouch and put on some light makeup before she went out.
…
Zhan Se arrived earlier than her.
The restaurant was situated on the top floor of a high-rise building and had a lovely dining environment—slow music that eased people’s nerves; warm lights; full length, arched windows that made the dining tables look like petals; and just the right amount of space between each table, making it absolutely convenient for the guests to talk amongst themselves with sufficient privacy.
The lightings were dim but atmospheric.
Zhan Se ordered a lot of dishes, which seemed slightly too much.
Xiang Wan smiled bashfully. “Senior, we can’t finish all of these by ourselves…”
Zhan Se’s eyes formed a curve as she smiled. “It’s fine, we can eat them slowly.”
Suddenly, she lifted her head again. “Want some wine?”
“Better not.”
“How can I entertain my guest without wine?”
Xiang Wan smiled and did not refuse further. “You haven’t told me,” she asked, “how did you know I’m in the capital?”
“Haha!” Zhan Se let out a laughter.
“It’s a coincidence! I saw your photo.”
“Eh?” Xiang Wan was confused. “Where?”
Zhan Se lowered her head, took out a two-inch black and white photo from her purse, and placed it on the table.
“The man who sat next to you on the plane is a distant cousin of mine.”
“Eh?”
Isn’t he a scammer?
Xiang Wan lowered her head to look at the photo and got more questions instead.
How did my photo land inside her purse? Xiang Wan thought.
“It slipped out when you paid him the cab fare.”
“He picked up the photo, and his destination happened to be my house,” Zhan Se explained with a smile. “He told me about his trip as well as the encounter with you and I immediately recognized that the little girl in the photo is you…”
Xiang Wan pursed her lips lightly as she kept the photo.
“Thank you!”
She did not see Zhan Se’s expression, where she smiled in a somewhat puzzled manner.
“And I thought your cousin’s a scammer, sorry about it.”
“It’s fine, haha, many people said that too. Did he tell you that he knows about fortune-telling and stuff like that?”
“Yes, he did.” He even asked me to pay 1,200 yuan, Xiang Wan thought inside her head.
“Actually, he’s not bluffing you,” said Zhan Se, “he knows fortune-telling.”
“What?” Xiang Wan stared at her with eyes wide-opened.
Such words coming from Zhan Se sounded really creepy.
Shouldn’t she be a modern intellectual woman? Xiang Wan thought. She actually believes these things?
Zhan Se observed her expression and her smile went deeper.
“The Zhan family ancestors actually specialized in this field for generations… Do you find it hard to understand?”
“Uh!”
Yes, it’s simply unbelievable! she thought.
Wasn’t Zhan Se a criminal psychologist?
Why did she suddenly become the daughter of a fortune-telling family?
Zhan Se smiled and did not explain further.
“Anyway, that’s what it is. The Zhan family has learned the art of divination for generations. Well, my dad’s also a divination master.”
“Divination master?”
What a fresh professional term!
Xiang Wan listened to her attentively.
“A divination master interprets dream, glyphomancy, naming, and other divination skills…” said Zhan Se. “In the modern society, many people thought of all these as gimmicks and are deceptive in nature. In fact, the actual divination are not baseless conjectures. During ancient times, Zhuge Liang, Li Chunfeng, Liu Bowen, Zeng Guofan… they were all masters in divination techniques.”
Xiang Wan was apparently very interested in what Zhan Se had said.
“So, are you also skilled in these arts?”
Zhan Se pouted playfully, as well as slightly abashed.
“The tradition of handing down these skills ended with me. Haha, I’m just not good at it. But my dad left behind many related books on this subject. So when my cousin wanted to pick up these skills, I gave him all those books… And you’ve seen it for yourself, he’s so obsessed and fascinated with it that he could ramble on all day long. When he heard me talking about the case in Jin City, he specially made a trip, saying he wanted to examine the stars over there…”
Pfft! “Okay.”
So that was how it was.
After knowing the truth of their meetup, Xiang Wan felt an empty feeling inside her.
Not sure if that was disappointment or felt like laughing at herself for overthinking stuff.
Why did she think that Bai Muchuan would be concerned enough to find out what she was doing?
Idiot! she scolded herself inside the head.
Xiang Wan chuckled. “So how’s the learning progress of your cousin?”
“Only the heavens know.” Zhan Se shook her head. “He’s fooling around all day long, I treat all these skills as something fun and don’t dare to mind it too much.”
Don’t dare to mind it too much…?
The word “dare” sure sounded mysterious.
At this time, the dishes were being served.
The two of them started to dig in when Xiang Wan suddenly asked, “Do you believe in what he says?”
“There are a lot of mysteries in this world.” Zhan Se squinted her eyes and spoke in a serious tone than earlier, “I’m in awe of all these mysteries, but if you choose to believe in it, then they exist, otherwise, they don’t. You don’t have to take his words to heart.”
That “Mr. Harry Potter” seemed to have told Zhan Se everything?
Originally, Xiang Wan had treated that guy as a scammer, and had put away all those disturbing feelings she felt.
But now that his identity was proven by Zhan Se, Xiang Wan could not help feeling chilly once again.
“Did he tell you anything about me?”
Zhan Se was sitting directly opposite her. When she heard that question, she put down her chopsticks and scrutinized her carefully.
Xiang Wan felt as if her heart was almost frozen by that strict and solemn gaze.
“He said that you’re on a streak of bad luck… Well, everyone has their own good and bad luck from time to time. Don’t be too worried about that!”
“Hahaha, it’s nothing. I just feel that my luck recently is actually quite good.”
To get chosen for the training programme was good luck.
Xiang Wan liked to think of things in a positive way. She brushed off the chilly feeling and stopped thinking about it anymore.
“My motive for inviting you to dinner is actually to apologize to you,” said Zhan Se. “My cousin is not really a reliable person. When he asked money from you, he was actually pulling a prank…”
“It’s okay, I didn’t give him money anyway.”
“Haha, you’re a witty one. I know you won’t get deceived.”
Pffft! “I think so too.”
The two of them joked around and the atmosphere was great.
Suddenly, Zhan Se laughed and asked, “Have you met Little Bai yet?”
Little Bai…
Xiang Wan was eating a fish and almost got choked by her sudden question.
Cough! She took a tissue to wipe her mouth and smiled in embarrassment.
“I haven’t. I’m not that familiar with Detective Bai, better not to intrude on him.”
“Oh?” Zhan Se’s eyes seemed to be smiling teasingly at her. “Really?”
“… Really.”
“Then I’ll call him over for dinner,” remarked Zhan Se as she searched her bag for her phone. “I heard Laowu said he came back to the capital looking all hurt and pitiful. I thought both of you must have quarrelled or something… Since that has nothing to do with you, then it won’t be awkward to call him over for dinner…”
“… Don’t!”
Xiang Wan furrowed her eyebrows, wondering how she should explain to her.
“I feel that it’s nice enough with just the two of us. If a guy came over, it won’t be so convenient to talk.”
“Then I’ll get Laowu to come over as well. It’s too lonely with only the two of us.”
“Senior…” Xiang Wan’s gaze seemed as if she was pleading with her.
Zhan Se smiled and gave her a friendly glare while she put down her phone slowly. “Still trying to fool me? You forgot what my profession is?”
Alright! People who study psychology are not normal humans.
Any hidden emotions would be detected by her.
“Actually, back then,” confessed Zhan Se, “I already felt that the relationship between the two of you is abnormal.”
“What abnormal? It’s always been normal.” Xiang Wan felt her cheeks starting to burn.
“I’m not sure, either. Maybe your relationship didn’t get to that point, but I’ve thought you two would continue to develop the relationship…”
“It’s a pity… that it didn’t happen.” Xiang Wan smiled casually, “In this era, isn’t it easy to have a little ambiguous relationship that ended before it even started officially?”
Zhan Se puffed a sigh. “Many people can’t see their true feelings.”
As Xiang Wan did not reply, Zhan Se squinted her eyes slowly. “Do you know that I’m a hypnotist too?”
Her face suddenly darkened, and Xiang Wan felt the similar mysterious aura that she had felt from that fortune-telling cousin of hers.
Xiang Wan felt as if her heart slightly suffocated a little.
Perhaps the mention of hypnosis had a psychological deterrent effect to human beings. She felt goosebumps all over and was uncomfortable.
“Senior, is hypnosis really that miraculous?”
Zhan Se smiled, “You want to give it a try?”
Xiang Wan asked curiously, “How to try?”
Zhan Se did not reply, but her gaze gradually became deep as she stared at her without blinking.
The lighting in the restaurant was already quite dim.
The lamp that hung above their heads casted their shadows onto the glass windows.
Outside the window was the distant night sky.
As the restaurant was located at the top floor of a high-rise building, it felt as if the entire city was beneath their feet.
Zhan Se suddenly said, “Look at me.”
Even without her reminder, Xiang Wan was already looking at her.
She wanted to see from Zhan Se’s eyes just how the latter was going to pull that trick off.
However, not long after, her sight gradually blurred, and she felt as if the restaurant was spinning.
Xiang Wan shook her head, and she seemed to be in a trance.
Zhan Se’s mouth moved, she was talking to her.
“Actually, our inner thoughts are very complex. The level of complexity may be more complicated than you think.
“A lot of emotions are suppressed when we are awake and sane. These emotions could even separate from you and clash with you. Hence, Xiang Wan, do you often hear your different selves talking to you?
“One voice will say okay, while the other says no. One would say go ahead, while another says better not.
“The contradictory ID, ego, and superego.”
Xiang Wan was slightly surprised.
Does everyone have it?
It was especially evident after she started to write online novels.
Not only would she talk to her characters, she would also talk to herself.
She would not tell anyone about all these, but kept it inside her heart.
“Xiang Wan.”
Zhan Se called her name.
“I can see that you’re very frightened.”
“?” Xiang Wan’s brain was in a daze.
“There’s fear deep within your eyes. Tell me, what are you afraid of?”
Zhan Se’s voice turned chilly and light, as if the voice had travelled a long way and into her ears.
Xiang Wan looked at her. Zhan Se was wearing a black dress; she had a pair of dark-colored eyes and a clean face. She was obviously beautiful, but she seemed to have turned into a devilish woman. Whenever Zhan Se blinked her eyes, Xiang Wan’s heart would jump. The more Zhan Se’s voice sounded thin, long, gentle, and slow, the more Xiang Wan’s head gets muddled and dazed.
“Afraid of… let me think…
“I remember now! The cat that appeared in the dark alley…
“And, that woman, she doesn’t have much expression and her eyes were cold.
“Everytime I see her and her adorable son, I feel like I’m watching a horror movie.
“Maybe… it’s because everytime I see her, the environment was dark?”
Xiang Wan murmured as she replied to Zhan Se.
However, she felt her voice sounded floaty.
She also felt it was her subconsciousness doing the talking, or it might be that she was actually unconscious.
That feeling was mysterious and intriguing. It felt like she was walking alone in a dark alley with no one else there. Up ahead, it was the endless void. She was talking to the person inside the endless void. Her voice started to tremble uncontrollably. She felt that she was obviously clear-headed but was unable to struggle out of that vortex.
This must be a nightmare!
Yup, it must be.
It surely felt like a nightmare.
“I’m also afraid… of the comments made by that ID in my book review and comments page…
“It felt like a pair of eyes. It felt like the micro spy camera installed on the glass panel on my door…
“I don’t like others barging into my life. I’m scared about my life being destroyed, being disturbed, being spied on…
“That really made me nervous. As if someone from an unknown place wanted to kill me…
“… Is it that… I’m the one that’s supposed to get killed?”
Xiang Wan’s nerves were relaxed, and her vigilance had dropped to the minimum.
She rambled on all of her conjectures, uncertainty, and feelings she were not able to tell when she was conscious.
“I don’t know if I’m in love with Bai Muchuan…
“I just like the feeling of being with him… I think he can protect me…
“I feel absolutely safe when I’m with him…
“Ever since dad passed away, no one else ever gave me that sense of security…”
She sniffled her nose, lowered her head, and lost control of her emotions.
She looked pitiful like a helpless child.
“My mom’s got a short temper and looked stern. But in actual fact, she’s very weak. She depends on youngest aunt on everything… Every time when I see her getting criticized by youngest aunt, I feel so ashamed…
“My mom couldn’t protect me. At night, when she’s sleeping alone, she’ll cry… When I was young, I climbed the window once, I… the floor was really high… Why did that woman jump down… the water at the fountain looked really red… as if there was blood flowing out from that body, from the fingers of the Goddess statue… I looked at her… I thought I saw my corpse lying up there…”
Xiang Wan started to speak incoherently.
One sentence after the other, each sentence was slower than the previous.
Bzzzt! Bzzzt! Bzzzt!
At this time, the vibrating sounds of the mobile phone on the table was heard. Shortly after, a sharp ringing tone started to ring, together with the vibrating sounds.
Xiang Wan was being interrupted.
That ringing sound felt like a needle that pierced right into her heart. She felt a prickly pain, and she came back to her senses.
What was she saying just now?
Xiang Wan looked at Zhan Se in a dazed stupor but was only momentarily.
Zhan Se answered the phone calmy, her voice sounding light and far. “Okay, hm, talk later.”
After she hang up the phone, Xiang Wan asked with a flushed face, “Senior, am I… drunk?”
Pffft! Zhan Se stifled a laugh. “You’re not a good drinker, but this little amount of wine won’t get you tipsy.”
“So…” Xiang Wan rubbed her head as if she suddenly remembered something. “So this is what you mean by hypnosis?”
“Strictly speaking, this is not the actual hypnosis. Your mental strength is strong. But under the effects of the alcohol, music, my hint, and guidance, you’ve entered a shallow state of hypnosis.
“A shallow state of hypnosis?”
“It’s hard to explain. Well, it’s not much different from when you’re tipsy. You feel like you’re in a mild trance. Your body feels relaxed, your stress disappeared, and you’ll have the desire to confide in someone…”
Uh…
This is really intriguing.
Xiang Wan tried to recall what she had said. However, her brain felt empty and did not manage to recall anything.
However, the feeling of being unable to control her emotion made her feel flurried.
“Senior, you’re really good. In the future, I won’t dare to drink with you anymore!”
Zhan Se looked at her with a faint smile. “No, you should drink more with me in future.”
Xiang Wan was stunned for a moment.
Zhan Se said, “When a person’s emotional stress is too high, their mental health will be unhealthy.”
Unhealthy?
There were a lot of authors who said that after writing novels for a long time, they get depressed, and they were usually diagnosed to have mild schizophrenia.
However, Xiang Wan had always thought she was fine.
The restaurant played smoothing music.
The lamp above their heads was still swaying gently.
Outside the window, despite the city lights, the sky was still filled with vast darkness, and one of the stars even seemed to be twinkling.
Xiang Wan narrowed her eyes and seemed to be contemplating quietly. “Senior,” she looked at the time, “I can’t stay here for too long, I need to get back now. It’s not appropriate of me to return late on the first day of training.”
“Alright,” Zhan Se smiled, “how long will you be in the capital?”
Xiang Wan furrowed her eyebrows. “About half a month.”
“That’s a tight schedule.”
“Hm, yeah.”
“Alright! Call me if you need help. Anything is fine.”
“Okay, thank you Senior.”
…