Chapter 138 Pathetic
"Yang Feng, I—"
"Get off of me." He sharply said. His voice was deep and gruff, the irritation heavy in his voice.
Zhao Lifei felt like her heart was stomped to dust. She opened and closed her mouth, unable to form words. Her eyes prickled and burned, her lips wobbled, and she was trying her best to suppress a sniffle. She wanted to win him over with her words, not her tears.
"No." She replied, her voice cracking. When he grabbed her arm in an attempt to shove it away, she locked it together with great difficulty because of how tiny and short her arms were.
"Why can't we talk it out?" She hoarsely whispered, trying her best to suppress the welting hot tears that pooled in her eyes, threatening to fall at any given second.
"I've chased you long enough." He muttered, slowly prying her fingers open one by one, his expression hidden away by the shadows.
"Don't touch me." He sounded angry, but his eyes were dancing with happiness. She was chasing him, she was finally chasing after him!
"Yang Feng, at least let's talk about it. A relationship without communication cannot work—"
"Oh, we're in a relationship? I could've sworn we were friends." He responded, roughly grabbing her wrists in a false attempt of getting her to move it. He made sure to gently handle the fragile little thing so that she wasn't harmed by his tight grip.
"We are friends, but we—"
"Then the discussion comes to an end now." Yang Feng scowled. She was back to the foolish talks about being a friend. Do friends share intense make-out sessions? Share the bed together, comfortably in each other's arms? Do friends talk about marriage?! Damn it, what will get her to change her mind about their relationship?!
"That was barely a discussion." She felt a lump rising through her throat and in her slightest hesitation, Yang Feng had unraveled her arms around him. His long legs easily carried him to the door faster than she could chase after him.
He opened the door, ready to step out, but a thin pale arm stretched out and slammed it shut. "You—"
"I like you!" She blurted out, irrationally saying the only thing she could think of.
He paused, his heart racing a million beats per second. Did he hear her correctly? Did she finally profess her feelings for him?
"I don't." He lied, testing her reaction.
And just like that, Zhao Lifei's face went blank. The dam within her eyes broke loose, tears rolling out in heavy droplets enough to fill an entire ocean.
She felt tongue-tied. There was a lump in her throat. She couldn't breathe, nor could she think properly. In her hazy state, she let out a sniffle, then a hiccup, and it didn't take long for her entire face to scrunch up and crumble, her body swaying on the spot.
She took swift steps backward, pressing a hand to her aching chest. "I-I-..." The first sob came out and that was enough for Yang Feng to realize he had gone too far.
He swiftly turned around. The sight he witnessed was like a stab to his chest. This was the first time he had witnessed her cry because of him and it was not a pleasant feeling. It wrecked his heart and made his brain lose all sorts of senses and logic. All he wanted to do was hug and comfort her.
Her glistening eyes, the one that always shimmered like the brilliant stars, were wet, the tears flowing nonstop. He walked to her, but she took steps back to create distance.
He immediately regret pushing her too far past her boundaries. He only wanted to test her a little but didn't realize he would hurt her like this. Guilt and remorse wrapped around him like a heavy blanket as he looked at her.
"Look away from me…" She didn't want him to see her cry like this. Tears were pathetic. They were for the weak.
She refused to win him over with tears, but she couldn't control her emotions anymore. It was the first time she had cried in a really long time, the feeling almost foreign to her. She swore she would never cry over a man as she had done with Zheng Tianyi in the past.
"I'll stop bothering you, I-I'll stop showing up in front of you." She babbled, hurriedly wiping her tears away, but the more she wiped, the more they flowed out. Every few seconds, an uncontrollable hiccup would rise. She knew she must look like a mess right now. She was too embarrassed to even look at him.
Her head dropped in shame. She took a few more steps backward, until her shoulders collided with the glass window.
It only took a few long strides for him to close the distance. "If you don't show up in front of me, I'll kidnap you and force you to bother me." He scowled, harshly grabbing her by the wrist, slamming her frail body to him. His thick arms wrapped around her thin waist, pressing her body to him. Her lithe body molded against his perfectly, her face resting on his chest.
"I don't like you, stubborn woman, I think I'm in love with you." He breathed out, embracing her tighter. It was the only thing he could do to stop the stabbing pain in his chest. He didn't think tears would ever be his weakness. But seeing her cry like that, he was willing to toss all logic out the window.
"You only care because I'm being pathetic by crying in front of you and—"
"Crying does not make you pathetic. In the end, we're only human." He gently whispered to her, moving his hand to caress the back of her head soothingly.
"I don't want to win you over with tears—"
"You already won me over the second you hugged me." He confessed, squeezing her tighter, bending down to press a loving kiss on the crown of her head.
All of his anger for her had washed away the minute she climbed out of the bed to hug him. Her simple gesture was enough to disperse the dark cloud looming over him. Hearing her sudden confession was like hearing wedding bells.
"Then why did you tell me to let go?" She naively asked, staring up at him as if he had wronged her.
He let out a burst of light laughter at her adorable expression. Her eyes were trembling, her brows slightly tucked together, and her lips slightly jutting out. Her cute button nose was a bit red from the tears, and her cheeks were damp. How can someone look so breathtakingly beautiful after crying?
"I wanted you to chase after me." He smiled down at her, using one hand to brush away her fringe and the messy strands of hair framing her face. He used this thumb to wipe the wetness on her cheeks away.
"It wasn't right." She croaked, sniffling and burying her face back into his chest. She furiously rubbed her face against his silk shirt, not caring if she was ruining the expensive clothing. With how tightly he was holding her, she couldn't move her arms to wipe her tears away, and could only do it on his shirt.
"It wasn't right for you to insult me like that." He patiently told her while patting the back of her head, occasionally running his hands through her hair.
"You caged me inside the room as if I was a prisoner. I didn't like that." She was worried they would start another fight, but she needed to fix their communication issue. It was not healthy for him to continue this overly protective behavior. Sometimes, it was nice, but this time, it was too much for her.
"I was trying to keep you safe—"
"You could've done it differently. I understand I was in the wrong for arguing with you so quickly and letting my temper get the best of me, but I will not apologize for fighting for my freedom. Being too controlling in a relationship, though it might be hard for you to change, is not something I desire to have." She looked up at him and shivered upon seeing the coldness in his eyes.
His grip on her had loosened, allowing her to tiptoe and reach up to cup his cheeks. She had to stand on the tips of her toes just to do so, but she still rubbed her thumbs gently over his incredibly smooth, marble skin in hopes of soothing that temper of his.
"I'll admit, we both overreacted. However, you cannot justify that domineering behavior of yours by saying you're 'keeping me safe' or that you're doing it because you like me. I've already experienced so many controlling men in my life, I don't want the burden of having another one." She firmly said, leaving no room for discussion. "A relationship is made up of compromises. Not everything can go your way."