Book 14: Chapter 11
200 IQ Moves (Part 2)
“Oh? Hmm… You need to be careful, then, Duke Ming.”
I stressed, “Prime Minister, they have no respect for any laws. It is reasonably possible that they will infiltrate the exam venue to assassinate me.”
“Infiltrate the exam venue?” Prime Minister Li bobbed his head with his brows together. “Tell me more.”
“They will be after me, but they may not know where I am. Therefore, they will inspect the rooms one by one. They might kill the examinees inside if they enter the wrong room.”
“So?”
“So, for the sake of ensuring the safety of all examinees, I have chosen to bravely face the villains. However, while I am taking care of them, I will not have time to fill out my answer sheet. As such, I n-”
“As such, we need to strengthen security measures. Fret not. This old one will request a decree from His Majesty to have elite guards stationed outside and inside the venue, and he will ask Tianhu to help out. If there are assassins, we will arrest the assassins. If there are cheaters, we will arrest the cheaters. You can rest assured that the exams will be fair and square. Rest assured, Duke Ming.”
“You are truly wise.”
“You flatter this old one. You do not wish to have dinner anymore? See our guest out.” Prime Minister Li drove me out without giving me any chance to speak.
“Wait, wait, I was not planning to leave yet.”
“Is there anything else this old one can do for you?”
My eyes darted around as he scoured for ideas. “If I am not wrong, you were the one who recommended Mount Daluo to His Majesty. As well, you were the one who told me we could work together, right? Besides, am I not your student? You would not turn a blind eye to my predicament, would you?”
Prime Minister Li smiled. “It is not an issue of this old one not wanting to help, and it is not a question of whether he can help or not. It is a question of whether or not this old one can face His Majesty with a clear conscience.”
“You are only leaking test the topic. It is not for the sake of glory or profit. What is there to feel guilty about? You need not worry. I will not pay a single coin for the answers.”
Prime Minister Li, seemingly proud of my shamelessness, glared at me. “And you were going to even try to cheap shot this old man. Duke Ming, you want to win when you want to bribe this old one without offering anything?”
I smiled. “Does that not demonstrate you are incorrupt?”
“This old one will not budge even if you bring him mountains of gold and silver. Moreover, do you think you can win just because you know the topic?”
“Uh… I will find my own way. You just need to tell me the topic.”
Prime Minister Li shook his head. “How should this old one answer if His Majesty asks if there was any cheating?”
“You can tell him that you just told me during a casual conversation. It does not count as cheating since it was just a casual chat.”
Prime Minister Li shook his head.
“If you turn a blind eye, you cannot hold me accountable for the consequences! I will stay at your house, eat your food, drink your tea and use your resources without paying anything. If you refuse to help me, I will refuse to leave.”
Prime Minister Li smirked. “You think you can outsmart this old one? My Lady! Clean a room. Duke Ming will be staying. And then tidy up another room. Liu Shan Men’s Vice-Captain Shen will be staying over, as well. This old one is going to restore some youth by spending more time with the young ones.”
“You refuse to help, correct?!”
“Can’t help!”
“B-but I am being hunted!”
“This old one will request Tianhu’s aid!”
“Will he oblige?!”
“Yes!”
“If you cannot, you must tell me the topic!”
“If this old one can’t, he will, ahem. This old one will ask someone else. In any case, you can rest assured that the exam venue will be secure.”
Damn! I just can’t get this fox!
“Okay, you better not regret your decision.” I flicked my sleeve and left.
Prime Minister Li, chuckling, as he saw me to the entrance, said, “Duke Ming, this old one cannot help you cheat. The results are in your hands. Who knows? Maybe you will be lucky enough slip your way to a win.”
“Thank you for the good wishes. I just hope you do not send me down a slippery slope to a loss.”
Brightly stroking his beard, Prime Minister Li expressed, “Confucius said, ‘He who does not suspect another of dishonesty or second guesses another’s honesty is virtuous. You should not suspect this old one, Duke Ming.” Because I looked confused, he added, “Do you not understand the phrase? It means…”
“I do. I do. I just saw it in ‘Analects’.” I offered up a cupped-fist salute, conveyed, “Thank you for listening to me,” and walked off while Prime Minister Li watched on as if he was watching an idiot leave.
I was busy. I had somewhere else to be straight after my visit to Prime Minister Li’s residence, and I had to drop in while the sun was still up.
The last time I visited this place, I think it was when Xiao and the others attacked them? I could still the plaque Xiao chopped in half and then glued back together. The person who saw me knock headed inside to report and then soon came back to retrieve me. After hearing my request, he headed back in to report. I had to wait for a while again before I was escorted to my destination.
Long Zaitian, head drooped, read one of the imperial court’s short newsletters as though he was watching paint dry. Without looking up at me or paying, he asked, “What do you want, Ming Feizhen?”
I cracked a smile. “I came for a stroll.”
“A stroll?” Long Zaitian set his newsletter down next to his teacup and scanned me. “This is our office’s prison for prisoners. What do think this place is? A brothel? What’s there to see?”
“Would there be a need to check out a brothel? That’s the same as being at home.”
“Get out. I don’t have time for your nonsense.” Long Zaitian waved me off with his hand. “We’ve arrested more criminals than there are cooties in existence. God knows how many Fiends’ Genesis’ crooks are among them. I’m busy dealing with them one by one. I don’t have time for your rubbish. Bugger off.”
I chuckled. “Let’s have a bet: you’ll beg me to go inside in a bit.”
“Me? Beg you? If I beg you, I’m that!”
“Your words, not mine. I’m off, then.”
“Buzz off already!”
The messenger arrived as I walked off. Once Long Zaitian heard what the messenger had to say, he jumped to his feet and yelled, “Why the hell didn’t you just tell me you’re here on His Majesty’s orders to interrogate the criminals?! Come back! Ming Feizhen! Duke Ming! Radish Ming! Come back!”
Glossary
Omitted joke – The Confucius line translated literally is, “If one does not presume another is dishonest, not one million, not believe…” The phrase “not one million” can be used as a phrase to imply dishonest play, but Ming Feizhen, oblivious to that meaning, assumes that it means “… Without being paid a million, I don’t believe you.” So, he has a monologue about how wise Confucius was because not even he would demand so much to trust someone. I lack the creativity to somehow translate that phrase whilst keeping what “not one million” implies in Chinese, so I omitted it to avoid confusion.