Chapter 23 – A Pair of Shoes
This chapter is sponsored by: Alex Le, Pedro Pulido and Dale Jackson
Chapter 23 – A Pair of Shoes
Translated by: TaffyGirl13 and Zaza
Edited By: Rango
TLCed By: Shiroyukineko
Shiro: Thank you sponsors!! Oh the amount of gag in this chapter…
“Before my bed, the moon is shining bright, resembling a touch of frost upon the ground. Raising up my head to look at the bright moon, I lowered my head and think of home.
(TLN:床前明月光，疑是地上霜；举头望明月，低头思故乡 Chuang qian ming yue guang, yi shi di shang shuang, ju tou wang ming yue, di tou si gu xiang)
Although he plagiarized my work, the concept is still fine, especially the way he raised his head to look at the moon. That kind of “looking up to the round moon in the sky” and “lowering your head and thinking of home”, it broke through the hearts of the millions of people in the world that longed for their own hometown. A faint sense of nostalgia, paired with the silence of nature, reverberating continuously through one’s heart, an expression that cannot be expressed. It is at this point that silence triumphs sound in embodying this feeling… However, if you just listen to my original works, then you will be even more surprised. That is because, my original works, are of supernaturally fine craftsmanship, to the extent of shocking the world and making the Gods cry! I dare to say that once I recite a poem, you will jump with emotion, forget where you are and pat my back in awe…” Yue Yang emphasized that his own work is original, and that the content is awe-inspiring to the point of shocking the world and making the Gods cry.
As a result, this aroused the bright-eyed thief’s curiosity.
Could it be that this fellow could actually compose poems?
“Alright then, go ahead and recite your Quiet Night Thought.” The bright-eyed thief felt that this brat would not be able to compose a poem, but she decided to give him a chance.
“Make sure you stand firm and listen closely. My poem is this: Before my bed, there is a pair of shoes, there are clothes on the floor. I raise my head and look at the bright moon, I lower my head and think of my lady… …” Yue Yang hadn’t even finished speaking before the bright-eyed thief’s fists flew towards him.
(TLN: The joke got lost in translation…but basically, the poem consist of 5 letters per line, and Yue Yang only changed a few. You can see it here: 床前鞋一双，衣是地上霜；举头望明月，低头思姑娘. Chuang qian xie yi shuang, yi shi di shang shuang; ju tou wang ming yue, di tou si gu niang)
The bright-eyed thief thought that even the most innocent things would be defiled in this bastard’s mind.
When hearing the Quiet Night Thought, she had thought that the concept was extremely beautiful. It was simple enough to understand yet it had incited such complex feelings in her heart. Compared to those poems filled with flowery and magnificent words, Quiet Night Thought was much more touching.
The bright-eyed thief had intended to forgive him at first, but who knew that this fellow was naturally deserved to be beaten!
Yue Yang was extremely thick-skinned and didn’t seem to mind. He jumped back up with mirth in his eyes: “Actually, this is only the first draft. You must know that good poems are all modified, like the saying “Mincing each word and finding the right rhymes, immersed in literary works till one dies.”. Don’t be too anxious, I still have another edited version of the Quiet Night Thought.”
The bright-eyed thief laughed coldly: “Don’t say anything else about the pair of shoes in front of the bed. You can slowly savour it by yourself!”
If not for hearing what he said afterwards about “Mincing each word and finding the right rhymes, immersed in literary works till one dies”, and finding it interesting and profound, that bright-eyed thief would have already stabbed him and left a long time ago.
Now, there seemed to have been a change for the better.
Could it be that just now he was just teasing me on purpose?
Could it be that this fellow, such a frivolous person by nature, was actually a really talented poet?
Yue Yang immediately raised his voice to oppose: “It’s changed; of course its not a pair a shoes before the window, it’s now: Before my bed, there are two pairs of shoes. Shedding clothes on the floor, I raise my head and look at the bright moon, then I lowered my head and kiss my lady! Wahh! Heavens, if there’s anything you want to say, say it nicely, gentlemen speak with their mouths and not their fists!” Yue Yang ran once he finished speaking, because the bright-eyed thief had already picked up her dagger, vowing to stab this shameless fellow who dared to tamper with the classics.
(TLN: Same thing. 床前鞋两双，脱衣地上放；举头望明月，低头亲姑娘 Chuang qian xie liang shuang, tuo yi di shang fang; ju tou wang ming yue, di tou qin gu niang)
After chasing him down nine streets, the bright-eyed thief still refused to let him off.
In the end, Yue Yang was left with no choice but to use the finishing blow, thus shouting loudly: “Everyone, quickly come and see, there are beauties running around naked on the street!”
This one shout drew countless mercenaries out to take a look, the bright-eyed thief couldn’t take it anymore and decided to disappear after catching up to Yue Yang and giving him a flying kick at his back.
Yue Yang patted his backside and muttered to himself: “The Old Daoist Priest kicked my backside, and in payment gave me his granddaughter the Heavenly Sword Goddess as my wife. Now that I get kicked by you, I shouldn’t make exceptions either. Although you cannot compare to the Heavenly Sword Goddess, I can make an effort to keep you as my mistress… Very well, it’s about time, let’s go see what that fellow Tie Kuang has died from excessive ejaculation yet!”
At first, Yue Yang only planned on spending a little money to get a few girls to tire Tie Kuang out so that he would sleep soundly.
There were many ways to kill a person, one way was to ‘use female charms to lure a man and kill him.’ This method was one of the most effective, as well as one of the most formidable ones.
As the old sayings go: Liquor is the sword that pierces your intestines, lust is the blade that scrapes your bones.
Yue Yang reckoned that if Tie Kuang had drank so much liquor and had so much sex but was still standing, then he could become a superman in person.
Thus, Yue Yang whistled and swaggered, as if walking through a front courtyard leisurely.
When he reached the house in which Tie Kuang stayed in, suddenly he saw that there was a woman with particularly well-developed breasts, actually waiting for him in the darkness of the doorway.
“Young Master, not only did we get Tie Kuang to drink till he’s asleep, we’ve even tied him up, you can go in any moment to kill him!” This big-breasted woman immediately knelt down and kowtowed to him.
Her words really gave Yue Yang a big shock.
These prostitutes, how did they know that he was going to kill Tie Kuang?
It was a good thing that they did not alert Tie Kuang, otherwise, there would probably be a trap lying in wait for him once he went in.
From what this big-breasted woman is saying, do these prostitutes bear animosity for Tie Kuang? Yue Yang was secretly astounded by his own luck; fortunately, he was able to succeed with a stroke of luck!
As she kowtowed, the big-breasted woman tearfully said, “While this lowly servant keeps watch outside, I plead that Young Master quickly goes in and kills Tie Kuang. If you take too long, Tie Kuang might wake up, and the situation might change. Tie Kuang’s summoned beast spirit is very formidable. Young Master must be extremely careful!”
“How did you know that I want to kill him?” Yue Yang was baffled. It looked like these girls weren’t just large chested bimbos!
“If Tie Kuang wants women, he wouldn’t pay for it. Our husbands were all killed by him. Many of my sisters were forced into a living hell by becoming prostitutes to earn money for him. We are his tools to make money. Do you think that in such a situation, he would still spend money to get women? Earlier, when you said that you were a mercenary from the Violent Beast Mercenary Group and had come here to invite prostitutes for Tie Kuang to serve him, we already knew that it was definitely a false pretense…..in addition, we can tell from Young Master’s eyes that you are not his subordinate; you don’t have that arrogance towards us, nor the humility towards him. You held a clear gaze that hid a deep sense of profoundness, with an unyielding expression of self-satisfaction. You seem more like a young master of a higher status! How could someone like you run Tie Kuang’s errands for just a bit of money? This is obviously impossible! The only explanation is that you are an assassin that is planning on killing Tie Kuang; a Vengeance Hunter assassin. You, a great hero that is daring enough to do anything to protect justice, must have come to aid the powerless and segregated people like us…..Young Master, you shouldn’t doubt us. Actually, the families that placed Tie Kuang on the Vengeance List are our sisters. We’ve never given up on enacting our revenge against Tie Kuang these past few years in hope that a great hero like you would appear!”
The big-breasted woman said this with a tear-stained face while constantly kowtowing her head to express her thanks to Yue Yang.
Yue Yang was shocked by her sensitive power of perception.
It seemed that he really had underestimated the people of Soaring Dragon Continent! This big-breasted woman had managed to come up with such audacious reasoning with so little clues; moreover, her reasoning was extremely accurate. This was really not a simple feat!
Now that he had gained a clearer understanding of the situation, why hadn’t they reported to Tie Kuang?
It was because Tie Kuang was their target of revenge. He was the murderer of their husbands; this enmity was completely irreconcilable!
However, he still had some doubts, “If you’ve already gotten him drunk and tied him up, then why don’t you women kill him yourselves? Isn’t this something that would only require the lifting of a hand?”
Shiro’s Chinese 201: Advanced Poetry – Learning famous poems and sayings to show off to Chinese people
1. 床前明月光，疑是地上霜；举头望明月，低头思故乡
Chuáng qián míngyuèguāng, yí shì dìshàng shuāng; jǔ tóu wàng míng yuè, dītóu sī gùxiāng
The moon is shining bright before my bed, resembling a touch of frost upon the ground. Raising up my head to look at the bright moon, I lowered my head and think of home.
2. 寻章摘句老雕虫，晓月当帘挂玉弓
Xún zhāng zhāi jù lǎo diāo chóng, xiǎo yuè dāng lián guà yù gōng
Mincing each word and finding the right rhymes, immersed in literary works till one dies
3. 二八佳人体似酥，腰间仗剑斩愚夫。虽然不见人头落，暗里教君骨髓枯。
Èrbā jiā réntǐ shì sū, yāo jiān zhàng jiàn zhǎn yú fū. Suīrán bùjiàn réntóu luò, ànlǐ jiào jūn gǔsuǐ kū.
A sixteen year old girl’s body seemed tender and soft, but the sword hidden behind her waist would kill a foolish husband. Although lecherous men are not everywhere, men could still unconsciously fell onto a women’s trap.
4. 酒是穿肠剑，色是刮骨刀。
Jiǔ shì chuān cháng jiàn, sè shì guā gǔ dāo
Liquor is the sword that pierces your intestines, lust is the blade that scrapes your bones.