Chapter 32 – Ai Mi’s Commission
In the end, I warned the five tiger punishment squad to not look for trouble with Xiao Qin. I then said that I had something to do and returned home after separating from them.
I didn’t tell them the specific reasons for why they shouldn’t provoke Xiao Qin, because if I talked about it, I would have to admit that I wasn’t able to recognize her gender for so many years and that I was bullied by a girl for so long.
It is too shameful to speak of this to anyone else (especially the five tiger punishment squad).
After Xing Xing saw that I disagreed with his plan, he was worried about it for me:
“Big Brother Ye, you see, are you going soft on her again? The brothers are only going to say a few words, they won’t really hit her. —— Who dares touch big brother’s woman? She’ll become our sister-in-law! Big brother, big brother, hey, big brother, don’t leave…”
After returning home, as expected, my dad asked me why I left school so early.
I told him that the last two classes were electives and extracurricular activities, since they were pointless I came back early. I then handed the “Colorful Classroom” with missing pages to my dad.
He didn’t doubt me. Recently, it seems like he’s accumulated quite a few books with print quality problems. He went to call them regarding the matters of return.
I walked into my bedroom and threw my bag like a basketball and made the bag hang perfectly onto the clothes rack in the corner of the room. Then I laid down on the bed and began thinking about countermeasures for the future.
Regardless of before school or after school, before class or after class, Ren Xiao Qin seizes every opportunity to harass and seduce me every day.
Although she learned all of her seduction skills from shoujo manga and it’s still superficial compared to H manga.
Even so, it has had a very bad impact on a pure and innocent teenager going through puberty like myself.
Although H has “beautiful girls coming your way” (ED: well-known line from a poem [励学篇] loosely translated), once there’s a really beautiful girl throwing themselves at you, the contrast from the two scenarios is significantly different.
Regarding Ren XiaoQin’s attacks, I have been on the defensive and the situation is very unfavorable.
I keep feeling that I should try counterattacking.
Through several days of observation, I’ve found some of Xiao Qin’s weaknesses.
She seems to have calculated that I definitely won’t do anything sexual to her, so she has been unrestrainedly seducing me.
Is it because we’ve known each other for a long time and has interacted with me as a male, so she knows me enough to predict my reactions?
She also said that I am “like a fun toy.”
This means that her seduction is just a game for her. The fun part is that she knows I’ll definitely hold back in the end.
It’s an extremely dangerous thing to get figured out by the enemy in a battle between two armies.
I opened up my right hand and stared at my palm.
Isn’t this a very manly hand? Why do you always shrink when you’re tempted by Xiao Qin?
Are you shyer than a girl? Are you going to continue letting Little Tyrant toy with you?
I suddenly decided: next time Xiao Qin tries to seduce me, I’m really going to touch her!
If the enemy tries to provoke me, they have to pay the price! If you still don’t shoot when they cross the national borders, do you want them to come to your capital?
Hmph, I will even take the initiative to attack.
The more you think that I am a gentleman, the more I’m going to act like a hoodlum!
Thinking of this, I felt that victory was already within my grasp. I unconsciously let out a series of evil laughter and my right hand also made a grasping motion.
In fact, I have not touched a girl’s chest before, I don’t know what it feels like.
I think that my dad who can’t sell himself anymore and the giant-breasted big sister’s mouse pad that I use is a bit different?
I suddenly felt that I was a pervert for thinking about a girl’s breast and laughing evilly.
But it couldn’t be helped, this was an indispensable step to launch a counterattack at Ren XiaoQin.
That being said, it seems that Xiao Qin’s chest is very inconspicuous.
He he he, I decided, next time I’m not just going to touch her. After touching it, I’m going to look at her with disdain and say, “So small!? It’s just like Wang Wang Crunchy Rice Balls!” (TN: popular kid’s snack in China)
I have to ruthlessly attack her self-confidence!
“Xiao Lin, Xiao Lin! Someone’s calling you!”
Dad shouted outside the door.
I got up and answered the phone. I found it strange that someone was looking for me.
I’ve never told Xiao Qin my home phone number and she should still be in class at this time. If the basketball team had a game, they would’ve told me when I played with them at noon. Could it be the class leader? She could find my home number from the student’s parents’ address book. Is she unwilling to admit defeat and just has to prove that my toothache was a lie so that she could report me to the class teacher?
No, if it was the class leader, she definitely would’ve asked my dad for verification when he picked up.
“Dad, who is it?”
As I walked to the telephone in the living room, I asked the dad who passed by.
“I don’t know, it seems to be a young girl saying that she wants her ‘manservant’ to answer the phone.”
“Eh? Then how do you know that she’s looking for me? Maybe she dialed the wrong number!”
Although I said that, I’ve already guessed that it was that Ai Mi girl.
“She should be looking for you, right?” Dad scratched the back of his head with uncertainty. “That little girl was particularly arrogant and forceful as if she was an acquaintance. I guess she called you ‘manservant’ because you guys are playing house?”
Who the hell played house with her! How old do you think I am! Besides, even if you were playing house, you would usually play the role of a husband and wife. Who would be something as strange as a manservant when playing house?
“Hello?”
I picked up the handset and asked in a bad mood.
“You manservant, why did you take so long to answer the phone!”
Ai Mi’s voice was quite angry.
“Who’s a manservant? Also, how do you know my family’s phone number?”
“Hmph, since I already know your name, getting your phone number is just a piece of cake… The celestial imperial people are so greedy that any information can be bought.”
“How much did you spend?”
I couldn’t help but ask.
“Only 1000 dollars.”
Ai Mi felt that it was too cheap.
God damn it, you’re a loser! If you wanted to know my phone number, couldn’t you just have asked me for it last night? Do you know how hard it is to make money now? I almost died in school in order to return a comic book to my client today!
“Manservant, today I have a task I want to assign you.”
Ai Mi pretended to be an adult and said seriously.
“I resign, I haven’t even received a salary.”
“How haven’t you received it! I paid for your onion last night!”
Ai mi started getting anxious, it also seemed like she was also tapping a glass table with a small spoon near the phone.
“Hey, if you don’t work for me, be careful of your hand getting shorter!”
Seriously. “It’s just a saying that “Eating someone’s makes your mouth softer and taking someone’s makes your hand shorter”. It’s not a Hollywood science fiction movie. If this really happened, how many things would Doraemon have had to take from others, since his arm is so short?
And of the things I bought that day, did you only remember the onions? In fact, the soy sauce beef was the most expensive, it was $14.50! However, I guess someone like you that casually spends 1000 dollars to buy information can’t remember any amount lesser than three digits?
If I had known this, I should’ve bought more stuff yesterday. At least enough to fill up the fridge at home.
“Manservant, why aren’t you saying anything?”
“If you are not satisfied with the salary, then work hard! If I’m happy, I can give you a raise!”
“—— Of course, I will still keep giving you all kinds of small favors!”
Listening to Ai Mi’s self-righteous tone as a good boss, how badly do you think I’m expecting your favors?
Dad seemed to be very curious and stuck out half his body from his study while holding a cup of coffee in his hand and straining his ears.
Dad, get lost! If you really wanted to eavesdrop on your son’s conversation, pick up the main handset in your own room and you won’t miss a single word! Why are you acting like Loud Mouth and Little Smarty from school? Who can you even communicate with about your son’s gossip? With Director Cao that big loss?
“Ok, ok, Ai Mi, what do you want me to do for you?”
“Hmph, although it’s disrespectful that a mere manservant dared to address his owner this way, I’ll forgive you!”
“I don’t need you to forgive me. If you’re not going to say what you need, I’m going to hang up.”
“Wait, wait! Other than the manservant, I can’t believe the people around me! You’re the only one that can help me!”
After all is said and done, she’s still a child and not calm at all. Just scare her a bit and she’ll be unmasked.
It turned out that Ai Mi wanted me to help her with her writing practice.
Because her mother demanded her to practice writing in Chinese and her signature, Ai Mi has to fax 10 pages to her mother every Saturday, so that her mother could check whether her Chinese characters were improving.
It’s already Thursday, but because Ai Mi just wanted to have fun and she had a lot of things to handle because she just arrived in China, so she hasn’t even written half of it.
And Ai Mi feels that even if she did finish ten pages, her childish writing couldn’t satisfy her mother.
She was afraid of getting scolded so she wanted to find someone with better writing to help her cheat.
Since she’s settled down in QingZi Academy, is unfamiliar with her environment, and feels that her classmates have been bought out by her mother, so she could only find me.
“What about it? Manservant, are you coming to write for me?”
Ai Mi was very anxious.
“My… my words aren’t the same school as yours…”
In fact, it is a school, and it is the shameful school.
“Ah? Chinese characters are still divided into schools? It seemed like the people who invented Chinese characters had nothing better to do! Then, do you know anyone that’s closer to my school?”
I looked back at the dad who was pretending to drink coffee. His writing, whether it was with a pen or a brush, was quite beautiful. It can be used to earn money, but we definitely can’t use his writing. It will definitely be seen through by Ai Mi’s mother.
After finding out that I was staring at him, my dad hid back into the study embarrassingly, but he still exposed an ear with temple tips on them.
Is there anything that is worth listening to? Is it good? Do you think I made a girlfriend outside?
I thought about it carefully. It wasn’t that difficult to take care of Ai Mi’s problem. After all, there’s a lot of female students who write good-looking words in class.
“Okay, Ai Mi, I’ll help you…”
“Great! I knew that the manservant will agree!”
Ai Mi interrupted me and giggled at the end of the phone.
Hearing her laugh so heartlessly, I couldn’t help but want to hit her:
“Don’t get your hopes up, you should at least write 5 pages by yourself and make preparations!”
Ai Mi got very upset after hearing me:
“I don’t want to write it! Mom doesn’t just want me to practice Simplified Chinese characters, but I have to practice even traditional Chinese characters! There are so many strokes! How do the Celestial Imperial people endure it! Anyways, I’m not writing! Help me hire someone and write it for me!” (TN: picture of traditional vs simplified, you can probably guess which one is which)
“Hire someone?”
“Yeah, hire someone! You, celestial imperial people, are all so greedy, would anyone write it for me for free?”
Although Ai Mi spends money recklessly, what she said was very reasonable. If she got someone to write for her first fax, it is best to let this person write in the future, otherwise, it is easy to reveal.
“Manservant, do you think you can hire someone for 1000 per page?”
I almost crushed the phone receiver.
Going by this price, it’s going to be 10000 every 10 pages. Do you want to scare the girls in our class to death!
“You don’t need that much, even 100 per page is excessive.”
Some good students write a full set of homework for people and only ask for 20 or 30.
What’s more, the writing practice booklet is full of large boxes, so a page can only fit about 100 words.
If you calculated with the price of 1000 per page, then it’ll be 10 dollars per word! The evil American imperialists, you don’t understand the suffering of the common masses!
“Eh? You can find someone to help me for 100? Are you lying?”
“Actually, you don’t even need 100…” (ED: damn bro, just pocket the difference)
100 per page, 1000 dollars for 10 pages, even if you do odd jobs for a month, you may not even be able to earn that much.
However, Ai Mi decided that the price could not be lowered any more. She said that the most important thing is that I can find a reliable person who can continuously help write for her. As for the commission, I can operate freely and there was no upper limit.
“Manservant, my mother specified that when I practice I must also transcribe the simplified Chinese translation of the Old Testament of the Bible. You can start copying from the first page! You must finish within these two days! At 10 o’clock on Saturday night, I will have to fax it to my mom’s office!”
China’s time is 12 hours earlier than the US. 10 o’clock at night in China happens to be 10 am in the US. Amy’s mother. In order to check Ai Mi’s work in the office, will she make her daughter sleep late to accommodate her own time?
She’s not a very good mother.
“Manservant, bring the finished work on Friday or Saturday morning. I will give you a bank card as activity funds!”
“Activity Funds?”
“Of course! How can you help me with no activity funds? You definitely don’t have a Bible at home, right? You need to go to the bookstore and buy it, right? In addition to the commission for writing Chinese characters, there are still many more places to spend money later!”
Everything was finally settled. It’s up to me to look for a girl who can help Ai Mi write her Chinese character (it should not be too difficult to find in second-year second class and the commission is very attractive). Then before Saturday night, I would go to QingZi Academy and give the workbook to Ai Mi. Then, Ai Mi would give me an activity fund bank card for follow-up matters.
Although it is not easy for students from outside schools to mix into QingZi Academy, there should be a way.
The fools of the Five Tiger Punishment Squad are students of QingZi Academy, and I also have Xing Xing’s cell number.
In short, let’s go find a girl who has good handwriting tomorrow.