I’m Actually a Cultivation Bigshot

It…leveled up?

The Black Bear Demon stared at the Wild Boar Demon, baffled. Its mouth was wide open.

The other demons were dumbfounded and stiff like statues.

“This… I…”

The Wild Boar Demon was also confused. After a moment of disbelief, it gasped. “The cabbage contained Insights! My body went through the lightning strikes. So, in addition to all of that, I naturally leveled up to the Distraction realm?”

“This…”

The Green Python Demon almost cried from envy. “I should’ve been the one to volunteer. Who knew getting struck by lightning would bring such benefits!”

“I should’ve known, I should’ve known!” the Black Bear Demon shook its head and sighed. “How would Lord Daji’s master be ordinary? Of course, he’d bless others for helping him out. Boohoo, an opportunity missed! I missed the opportunity! I’m such a pig!”

The Wild Boar Demon suddenly glared back and said, “You’re trash! A pig? You? Better luck next life.”

…

At the Linxian Palace.

Countless disciples hurried back. They all looked miserable.

The interior of the palace had changed, too. Sheets of white cloth were hung everywhere. Mumbling and chatter could be heard along with cries and sobs. It was tragic.

Qin Manyun and the four elders of the Linxian Palace stood at the center of the main hall. They looked sadly at a coffin that was placed in the middle.

Inside the coffin were clothes and accessories that were usually worn by Yao Mengji. They were some of his favorites.

Qin Manyun was burning some joss paper in front of the coffin. The four elders let the disciples pay their respects in an orderly manner.

Qin Manyun wiped her tears and said sadly, “Master, rest in peace! Manyun will always remember your teachings. I’ll ensure the Linxian Palace will forever be glorious!”

Suddenly, a figure flew in from afar. They could feel how excited the figure was.

‘I’m almost at the Linxian Palace. Wait until Manyun and the others find out that I’m still alive. They might be surprised, haha…’ Yao Mengji thought and smiled. ‘Huh? Why is the Linxian Palace so crowded? Perhaps they knew that I didn’t die and planned a celebration for me?’

Yao Mengji sped up.

Then, he looked dumbfounded.

Was this a funeral? Who died?

“Sect Master, you died so tragically. Boohoo, rest in peace.”

“I heard that the Sect Master died horrifically. He was charred by lightning, even his bones went black!”

“Not only that. I heard that the Sect Master was blasted to ashes with no dead body left. So, they replaced him with his clothes.”

“In other words, tragic. Sect Master, rest in peace…”

…

Yao Mengji had a dark look. He clenched his jaw and growled, “Qin Manyun, Zhou Dacheng, come out, all of you!”

His yells made the noisy Linxian Palace fall silent. Everyone stopped crying at once.

Everyone was stumped. They all looked up to the sky.

They saw an old man with torn clothes, charred areas on his body, and a dirty appearance. He was levitating, looking furious.

This… Sect Master?

Then, several people flew out from the main hall and shouted in surprise.

“Master!?”

“Sect Master?!”

“You’re not dead?”

“You’re the one who’s dead! Did I let you plan a funeral? I was only gone for a while and you’re already doing all this?” Yao Mengji was ticked off. “Do you wish that I was dead?”

He rushed back without changing his clothes or making himself look presentable because he wanted to let them know the good news as fast as possible. He did not expect to see a funeral scene.

He did not die but he felt like he died out of anger!

Zhou Dacheng said, “You’re the one who said you’d surely die, right? You wouldn’t even let us collect your dead body.”

“You, you!” Yao Mengji almost spat out blood. He pointed at Zhou Dacheng with a trembling finger as he struggled to catch his breath, “It wasn’t over yet. You could’ve planned the funeral after you confirmed my death!”

“We were planning ahead since you said you’d die. It’s good to be prepared.”

Splurt!

Yao Mengji spat out blood. “Animals, animals!”

“Alright, Sect Master. You can’t blame us. You thought you were going to die, too. What are we supposed to do?” the Big Elder chuckled. “This is a harmless event, so just think of it as a joke. You didn’t die, so it’s worth celebrating. I’ll get everyone to change the white flags into red ones.”

Yao Mengji sneered, “Hm, what for? Celebrate when I’m dead.”

Zhou Dacheng said, “What are you angry for? Do you know how many tears I wasted on you? I haven’t cried in thousands of years, it’s precious!”

The Third Elder laughed out loud and said, “Ha, this is the first time I’ve ever cried as a man. That’s even more precious!”

The Fourth Elder asked curiously, “Sect Master, tell me everything. How did you survive the lightning strikes?”

“Master, it must be the expert who saved your life, right?” said Qin Manyun.

“That’s right, it was the expert!” Yao Mengji nodded while smiling. “You’ll never guess how the expert saved me.”

He had an astounding look in his eyes. He felt in awe whenever he thought of what happened.

Yao Mengji took a deep breath and said, “The expert created an item called the lightning rod! This item didn’t have any powers in it at all. It looked completely ordinary. However, it can attract lightning! The expert tied it to a boar demon which took all the hits.”

The Big Elder was shocked. “Really? Then, this item is the nemesis for natural tribulations!”

Zhou Dacheng chuckled. “I trust anything made by the expert. His level is unimaginable.”

The Third Elder said, “If that’s the case, that boar demon must be dead, right?”

“That’s the miraculous part!” Yao Mengji said while trembling. “That boar demon was injured, but it didn’t die! It seems like the lightning rod reduced the impact of the lightning!”

Gasp—

Everyone gasped at the same time. They all looked like they were in disbelief.

Qin Manyun was stunned. “This…this is incredible.”

He directed the lightning away and somehow reduced the impact? What were the laws of physics to him?

“Ha, this is only surface-level stuff.” Yao Mengji shook his head and gazed upon the horizon. He said, “Think about the mother and son that was saved by the expert, then think about how he reattached Lin Mufeng’s severed arm!

“The expert seems to love being an ordinary man. He accomplishes things in a way that no cultivators or Immortals would ever think of! Now I truly understand what he meant by ‘complications in simplicity’!”