If the Deep Sea Forgets You

“What exactly do you want? Han Liang is right outside! Aren’t you afraid that he’d understand there’s something between us if he saw the both of us together and ruin your lawyer reputation?” Xia Qingyi despaired over how he was making trouble out of nothing, and started to talk more rudely.

Mo Han pushed her against the wall in one pull and moved forward to trap her using his body. “Then bring it on, let’s see who is destroying whose reputation?!”

Xia Qingyi glared at him. “Mo Han, you’re crazy!”

“Yes, I’m crazy!” Mo Han used his hand to cup her chin, moved so close until she could feel his breath on her face, and gazed at her lips. “I’m actually contemplating letting Han Liang see what we look like now. Whether we look like the wretched couple that they are talking about.”

Xia Qingyi used all her strength to push at him. “I want to go back.”

“What are you going to do when you go back? Go back and get all lovey-dovey with him, go back home with him and…” Mo Han did not finish when Xia Qingyi swung a palm across his cheek.

Head whipped to one side, Mo Han smiled, slowly moving his left hand away from the wall and said in a low voice, “Go back.”

Xia Qingyi stepped away from his hold, turned around to leave but she stopped after a few steps. “I’m not the kind of person you think I am. I’ve also never thought that you’d think that way of me.”

Xia Qingyi added, “The memories are mine, so you may not be able to understand, but I wish to get them back.”

She left after she had finished speaking. After turning the corner, she saw Han Liang smiling as she walked towards him, and sat by his side, pretending nothing had happened.

She knew that Han Liang had probably seen her interaction with Mo Han just now.

His chair was facing outside. And the most important point was that he would never let her move out of his sight for so long. Especially when two out of the three of them were not at the table. Xia Qingyi realized that she was actually starting to understand Han Liang’s actions little by little.

“Hurry up and eat, the food’s cold.” Han Liang said smilingly as usual.

Xia Qingyi sat down, and started eating her portions in small bites. Mo Han came over not long after. He sat down opposite Xia Qingyi and said to Han Liang, “I’m sorry, it was an urgent matter on the phone earlier.”

Xia Qingyi scolded him for being fake, she had known he was cold in the past, but she had never known that Mo Han had such a pretentious side to him.

Han Liang told him that it was fine, and then took some vegetables for Xia Qingyi. “I know you like to eat this. Have more.”

Xia Qingyi smiled at him, thanked him and continued to eat her own food quietly.

After that, Han Liang and Mo Han did not talk about the money for long. They would even talk like friends, ask each other about their current situation and work-related matters. The longer Xia Qingyi heard, the more irritated she felt.

Was it that everyone had two faces, or even more? To put up a front for others, just for benefits or purely just for the sake of their ego.

Even Mo Han was the same. He acted in one manner when he talked to her outside the washroom, and now he behaved in another manner when he was talking to Han Liang right in front of her. He clearly had a cold personality, and yet he wanted to act like he often talked to others in front of Han Liang.

“I’m full, I want to go home,” Xia Qingyi really did not want to stay here any longer and said that to Han Liang.

“Do you want to eat more, I feel that you didn’t eat much,” Han Liang said.

“It’s okay, I ate on the way here just now. You two can continue your discussion,” Xia Qingyi stood up and wanted to leave.

“Stay a little longer, don’t you want to reminisce about the old times with your ‘brother’?” Han Liang asked.

Xia Qingyi did not even take a look at Mo Han, slung her bag on her shoulder and stood up. “There’s no need to. Mom is alone at home; I want to go back to chat with her.”

“Alright then, be careful on your way back.”

Han Liang watched as Xia Qingyi left the restaurant. He turned back to look at Mo Han, and the warm smile on his face immediately disappeared, replacing it with a strange kind of coldness. “Barrister Mo, you sure had a hard time holding yourself back.”

Mo Han smiled. “I do not quite understand what you mean. Can I trouble Mr. Han to explain a little for me?”

“From what I see of Barrister Mo’s cleverness, I’m sure you can guess what I mean.”

Mo Han only smiled, lowered his head and calmly ate the vegetables that Xia Qingyi had eaten earlier.

“I know it’s not her problem. She’s beautiful, so it’s inevitable that men have feelings for her after looking at her. So I can also understand the sudden feelings Barrister Mo has for her.”

Han Liang looked at him and said, “But she’s a person with a family. I’m her husband, we have an official marriage certificate, we still have feelings for each other and we’re not divorced. If the accident hadn’t happened, we would still have been a happy family. I hope Barrister Mo can control his feelings and not be a person who would get in the way of someone else’s family.”

He smiled a little, and then casually emphasized, “This is immoral after all.”

“What I do is my own business. If you truly have no confidence and are afraid that she’d leave with me, then look after her and make sure that there are no chances for someone like me to take,” Mo Han said casually, seeming to not mind Han Liang’s words, and only smiled.

“Thank you Barrister Mo for your reminder, I’ll take note of it.” Han Liang said, “If you have nothing else, then I should be going. I’m not too assured letting her go back by herself, so I’ll go and accompany her.”

“I’ve already paid for the meal. Please enjoy your food, Barrister Mo, I’ll go first.” Han Liang left his seat proudly as though he was a king.

Mo Han ate his food with his head lowered and did not look up at him. “Alright and thanks.”

The two of them parted. Mo Han sat at the empty table by himself and ate the nearly untouched food. He was eating before he suddenly started to laugh. He put down his chopsticks, leaned back on his chair and released a long sigh.

He admitted that he had lost.

In his entire life, he had never lost a single lawsuit, whether big or small. He had never lost all sorts of competitions during his time in university, not even external sports competitions. But he had lost here.

The feeling of defeat. He had never felt such a strong feeling of defeat. He knew that just seeing Xia Qingyi sit together with him was making him go mad with jealousy. After seeing Xia Qingyi for a while that day at the cafe, he was originally feeling a little better and more calm. But after he left, when he saw Han Liang and her again, only then did he realize that it had not helped him.

That kind of lasting feeling of defeat and powerlessness had crushed him.

Xia Qingyi just reached and entered her home. There was no one in the living room nor the kitchen. She called out twice but nobody responded to her. She thought it was strange, changed out of her shoes and walked to the second floor.

“Mom… Mom…” Xia Qingyi called out as she walked.

But still no one responded to her. She reached the second floor and opened the room doors one by one, looking for her mother.

She walked to the door of the innermost room on the second floor and strangely enough, she had never seen this room before. She turned the door handle, but realized that it was locked from the inside.

She could vaguely hear the sounds of her mother crying, and Xia Qingyi pushed at the door handle with more strength again and knocked on the door. “Mom… are you inside?”

“Mom… open the door,” Xia Qingyi knocked again.

After a while, there was the sound of the lock turning, and the door was finally unlocked. Her mother stood in front of Xia Qingyi with red-rimmed eyes, and had lowered her head as though trying to avoid Xia Qingyi’s eyesight.

“What happened?” Xia Qingyi asked.

She only shook her head, closed the door behind her and moved to leave.

Xia Qingyi responded quickly, moved forward to stop her and managed to beat her to it. She pushed the door behind open, bypassed her and walked in.

The room did not appear to be any different at first. There was a study table placed in front of the window at the opposite side, and on top of it was a few books and a lamp. Beside the study table was a bed with two pillows, but the bed was slightly small and seemed to be that of a child’s. A fluffy pink cartoon cat carpet rested on the floor. The wall was painted a light pink color and seemed to be a little girl’s room.

“Why haven’t I seen this room before?” Xia Qingyi asked as she looked around the room.

“There’s nothing to see here, it’s going to become a store room soon, you lived here when you were still small and it was no longer in use,” Her mother seemed like she did not want her to stay in the room for long.

Xia Qingyi did not think so. The room still looked clean, and there was no dust on the table, as though it was often cleaned. She looked at her mother standing at the doorway, spun around and casually asked, “Mom, what were you doing in this room just now? You didn’t respond at all when I kept calling out for you.”

“No-Nothing much… I was just too concentrated on tidying a few things and I didn’t hear you.”

“What are you tidying?”

“Ah… nothing… some old books. I was thinking of taking them to the study room,” Her mother walked in and grabbed a few books from the bookshelf in a rather flustered manner.

Xia Qingyi’s eyes looked at her mother’s hands, and she took some books and flipped them open. Andersen Fairy Tales , Stories of Greek Myths , The Soldier and the Princess . The book spines were dusty, and dust came flying out when she used her hand to touch the books.

“There’s nothing much to see, it was just the books you’d read in the past.” Her mother took the books from her hands, “Go, go, go… let’s leave, this room is dusty, don’t dirty your clothes.”

Xia Qingyi was pushed by her mother, and her eyes hurriedly scanned across the room. Pale blue curtains hung on the windows, two wooden chairs sat beside the study table and a locked drawer. There was a huge half blue, half pink wardrobe, and a smiling rabbit plushie encrusted in dust sitting in a corner of the room.

Xia Qingyi was dragged by her mother to the outside, and the door locked in front of her eyes.

“Why are you locking the room?”

“Ah…” Her mother said, “It’s a habit, the room was unused for too long. Not a lot of people come in here, so I lock it by habit, since there are so many other rooms that can be used anyway.”

Xia Qingyi hummed an agreement and did not speak. She looked at the books her mother was holding on and asked, “I’ve been bored these past few days, can you let me read these books?”