I Might Be A Fake Cultivator

Four female maids walked into the room and stood silently by the door as they stole glances at the two people within the room.

An Lin and Xu Xiaolan sat across from each other on a small table and ignored the four maids.

“You must be tired after coming all this way. Here, have some food.” Xu Xiaolan looked at the dishes on the table with a smile.

An Lin immediately came to his senses after seeing the food on the table and a smile appeared on his face. “Why are we eating this stuff? I’ll cook some noodles for you!”

Xu Xiaolan was slightly taken aback at first before she nodded with a gentle smile. “Ok.”

An Lin waved to a maid in the room. “Little Qiu, clear the table!”

“Huh?” One of the younger maids faltered slightly before heeding his call, “Oh! Sure!”

Little Qiu cleared the dishes off the table with confusion in her mind with regard to what An Lin meant when he said he was going to cook some noodles. Was he really going to make a trip to the kitchen to cook some noodles? Why wouldn’t they eat all the food on the table instead?

Little Chun, who was responsible for cooking, looked on with a pained expression as all the dishes were cleared away. Those were cooked by her; they were the manifestation of her blood, sweat, and tears! For it to be cleared away just like that, she felt like all her efforts had gone to waste.

Little Dong was one of the older maids, and she was thinking to herself that perhaps personally cooking some noodles was a way through which An Lin was expressing his love and creating atmosphere.

Little Xia blinked and wondered if she should start a fire on the kitchen stovetop.

They were then greeted by the sight of the white-haired man bringing out a frying pan alongside a bunch of condiments, appearing as if he was going to cook noodles right there and then.

Four seasons: “….”

Cooking noodles directly over the ground? They felt as if their eyes were playing tricks on them!

“Little Qiu, bring some noodles and eggs!” An Lin instructed.

“Huh? Oh!” Little Qiu ran to the kitchen at his behest to retrieve the ingredients.

An Lin conjured up a little water using a spell technique before bringing it to a boil with his Divine Flame. He added the noodles and condiments. Then he cracked in two eggs before stirring the noodles… Everything looked completely thrown-together.

The four seasons looked on in a daze.

“At least it’s edible…” Little Xia muttered under her breath.

“Yeah, it’s edible as long as it’s fully cooked. Anyway, it’s alright as long as Master likes it,” Little Dong replied with a numb expression.

“Waah… I can’t believe all those dishes I painstakingly prepared don’t even compare to these noodles in Master’s heart…” Tears welled up in Litte Chun’s eyes as she looked at the dishes that had been set aside, and her heart felt as if it were being pricked by needles.

White vapor began to rise from the noodle soup before wafting throughout the room.

It was then that the four seasons discovered that they were wrong.

“My God… this smell…” Little Xia breathed in the fragrance in the air eagerly as an expression of shock and entrancement appeared on her face.

“Could it be that the smell is coming from the noodles? It looked like he had thrown it all together so casually, so why does it smell so good?!” Little Dong also wore an expression of disbelief.

Little Qiu breathed in the irresistible scent in the air and was beginning to understand why she was instructed to clear the other dishes away.

Little Chun wore an expression of shame and reverence on her face. She was ashamed that she had slandered the noodles and her reverence was toward the man’s cooking skills… She stared intently at the white-haired man with a fanatical gleam in her eyes.

She felt like this was the legendary cooking of someone who had reached the Heavenly Dao.

All his actions seemed so simple and casual, but they were all imbued with the essence of Dao.

The scent wafting from the noodles was simply far too irresistible, and the four seasons stared at the noodles as they fought the urge to pounce upon the frying pan.

The most painful thing in life was none other than having exquisitely delicious food placed before one, but one could only smell it and not eat it.

The noodles were soon fully cooked, and he poured out a big bowl for Xu Xiaolan before placing it in front of her. He then also poured a bowl of noodle soup for himself with a smile on his face. “Go on, these noodles are definitely the best in the world. Eat it while it’s hot.”

Xu Xiaolan nodded with a dainty smile.

The exterior of the eggs looked extremely vibrant, with the egg whites forming a part of the noodle soup while the runny yolks seeped into the noodles. This gave the noodles a golden sheen and made both its appearance and texture seem completely out of this world.

The two of them conversed with one another in a joyous and harmonious atmosphere. They talked about some interesting stories from the Heavenly Court and the plans for the construction of Xixia City, appearing as if they were a married couple who had been with one another for a long time.

The poor maids could only stand at the side while the irresistible scent of the noodles flooded their nostrils, causing their saliva glands to work overtime.

Rumble…

Little Qiu’s stomach began to rumble, and she looked at the woman beside her with a pitiful expression. “Sister Dong, I’m hungry…”

Little Dong consoled her in a gentle voice, “It’s alright, there are four servings worth of noodles in the frying pan. Once Master finishes her meal with that young sir, we can take the leftovers!”

Little Chun and Little Xia’s eyes immediately lit up when they heard this. It was as if they had rediscovered the meaning and purpose in their lives.

Right at this moment, An Lin and Xu Xiaolan had finished the noodles in their bowls.

An Lin then made his way over to the frying pan before filling both their bowls again, even emptying all the soup from the frying pan as well.

The frying pan was completely emptied.

Four seasons: “….”

An Lin turned to Xu Xiaolan with a grin. “Can you still eat more?”

A gentle smile appeared on Xu Xiaolan’s face. “I can eat anything as long as it’s made by you. Plus, the flavor is really good!”

“Haha, if you like it, I’ll cook for you every day; a new dish every day!”

An Lin chuckled like a fully-grown infant upon receiving Xu Xiaolan’s compliment.

Thus, the two of them flirted with one another as they slurped on noodles.

The four seasons all had tears flowing down their faces. What the f*ck was happening!

“Doesn’t Master normally only have the stomach capacity for one bowl of rice? How is she suddenly able to eat two big bowls of noodles?” Little Qiu pursed her lips with tears swimming in her eyes.

“This is the power of food… Delicious food instantly increases one’s stomach capacity.” Little Chun stared at the now-empty frying pan. It looked as if she wanted to lick the pan just to see what it tasted like.

“It’s the power of love,” Little Dong elaborated with a serious expression.

The other three maids all nodded in agreement.

The exquisite scent of the noodles lingering in the air coupled with the harmonious scene laid out before them was too much for the four seasons to bear.

Not only did they feel like their stomachs were extremely empty, but they also felt like their hearts were throbbing with hollowness as well.

They gained new insight into what the most painful thing in life was.

It wasn’t just having exquisitely delicious food placed before them yet only being able to smell but not eat.

Instead… it was that, coupled with the emotional abuse in the form of a lovey-dovey couple!

The four seasons had never been tortured like this in their lives, and they were all starting to feel quite depressed.

An Lin and Xu Xiaolan slowly finished the noodles in their bowls.

Their eyes met, and a sense of harmony and joy permeated throughout the air.

Xu Xiaolan stared at An Lin before extending a slender hand to gently ruffle his head of white hair. There was a pained expression on her face. “You’re such an idiot, I’ve never seen a man as stupid as you.”

An Lin pinched Xu Xiaolan’s cheek with a warm smile on his face. “And I’ve never seen a girl as stupid as you. We’re both idiots, so we’d make the perfect couple.”

Xu Xiaolan burst out laughing at his words. “Have you no shame?”

An Lin sighed with emotion. “We truly are a woeful pair of husband and wife.”

A light smile appeared on Xu Xiaolan’s face. “Don’t try to put words into my mouth, who said we were husband and wife?”

An Lin nodded in agreement and corrected himself. “My mistake; we are a woeful pair of Dao partners.”

Xu Xiaolan: “…”

Four seasons: “… hic…” [1. hic = sound of hiccups.]