I Might Be A Fake Cultivator

An Lin sighed in resignation as he cradled the golden baby in his arms while being completely at a loss for what to do.

A thought then suddenly occurred to him, and he brought out a roast chicken from his storage ring before issuing an order to the golden baby. “Eat this.”

The golden baby instantly recoiled and tightly closed his mouth as he shook his head vigorously.

Yi Xi interjected at this moment. “Mr. An Lin, what you’re doing is wrong. The child is so young, he should be fed milk!”

An Lin rolled his eyes and snapped, “Do you have milk?”

“As a matter of fact, I do!” Yi Xi’s eyes lit up as if he was doing a great deed. He then carefully brought out a bottle of milk from his storage ring. “This is the Divine Cow brand milk produced in the Heavenly Court farms under the careful supervision of the Demon King Cow. Not only does it taste great, but it also uses no artificial colors and flavors and has extremely high nutritional value…”

He transformed the opening of the bottle into a nipple through the use of a spell technique and slowly pushed the nipple closer to An Kirin with an excited expression. “Come here… Good boy, have a taste, it’s delicious…”

An Kirin shrieked at the sigh of the approaching nipple and waved his right hand through the air.

Boom!

A bolt of golden lightning crashed down with unstoppable force before piercing through the air and obliterating the bottle as well as the milk inside. There was even black smoke rising from Yi Xi’s hand from where the lightning had struck…

An Lin stared blankly at the spot where the milk bottle once was and instantly smacked An Kirin’s head after coming back to his senses. “Don’t be rude!”

Yi Xi didn’t really take any offense to this. He looked at his hand before looking at An Lin. He then took a deep breath with astonishment on his face. “I’m a Return to Void Stage cultivator, but this little baby was able to hurt me! For the pill-spirit domain to be so powerful… My eyes really have been opened!”

Yi Xi seemed to grow more excited as he spoke, and his eyes glowed with an even brighter light.

An Kirin began to cry again after being smacked in the head by An Lin.

An Lin looked at the golden baby in his hands with a troubled expression, but the baby wouldn’t stop crying no matter what he tried.

“Mr. Yi Xi, please help me refine a third-grade immortal pill, Heavenly Scorching Realm Pill.” He heaved a forlorn sigh, but he had no choice but to continue with the experiment.

“Leave it to me, Mr. An Lin!” Yi Xi replied with an ecstatic expression.

Third-grade immortal pills were much more difficult to refine, and it took a full two hours before Yi Xi successfully refined the Heavenly Scorching Realm Pill.

The emergence of the Heavenly Scorching Realm Pill instantly conjured up a projection of a vast expanse of all-engulfing flames, and the power of the pill rippled outward for a radius of over a kilometer!

Yi Xi used a spell technique to seal the power of the pill before tossing it to An Lin.

An Lin held the crimson-golden immortal pill in his hand and took a deep breath. This was an eight hundred thousand spirit stone immortal pill; he would be heartbroken if it went to waste.

During the period of time in which the pill was being refined, An Lin attempted to communicate with the golden baby, but the golden baby seemed to be only limited to a very simple vocabulary of a few words…

“Open your mouth!” An Lin ordered.

The golden baby obediently opened his mouth to reveal two rows of pristine white teeth and a cute little golden tongue.

A pained expression flashed past An Lin’s face, and he placed the Heavenly Scorching Realm Pill into the golden baby’s mouth.

“Gulp!”

The golden baby swallowed the pill into his stomach.

Yi Xi’s body trembled as he looked at the immortal pill being fed to the baby, causing ripples to run through his round body.

“You’re using an immortal pill as a sacrifice to the pill-spirit domain!” Yi Xi clawed at his own face as he roared with excitement, “Ah! I’m so honored to be able to witness such a historically-significant event!”

Pop!

Another loud bang erupted.

A crimson-golden immortal pill popped out from the golden baby’s a*ss and rolled along the ground.

The golden baby sucked on his own thumb and gave An Lin an innocent look.

Yi Xi: “…”

An Lin: “…”

An Lin picked up the Heavenly Scorching Realm Pill and muttered to himself. “So direct consumption doesn’t work after all…”

He looked at An Kirin before issuing another order, “Return to my sea of vital energy first!”

An Kirin stared blankly at him with his little head tilted to one side while uttering a series of unintelligible sounds. He clearly didn’t understand what An Lin was saying.

A thought suddenly occurred to An Lin, and he sliced open his own finger to release a drop of blood essence.

As expected, An Kirin immediately became extremely excited at the sight of the drop of blood essence and eagerly swallowed it.

“Mr. An Lin, what’s the purpose of this?” Yi Xi asked curiously.

“This is called pill-spirit domain retraction!” An Lin couldn’t be bothered explaining what he was doing and fabricated a lie to placate Yi Xi.

Yi Xi’s eyes began to glow again as he looked at the golden baby with anticipation in his eyes.

The golden baby’s eyes then began to bulge as he foamed at the mouth and his stomach expanded outward…

Bam!

The golden baby exploded!

Yi Xi collapsed onto the ground with his mouth hanging wide open.

The golden light left in the wake of the explosion transformed into a streak of pure energy which was absorbed into An Lin’s sea of vital energy, where it formed the shape of a baby once again.

“Mr. An Lin, you… Isn’t this murder?!” Yi Xi was unable to understand what had just happened.

“No, it’s not. Have you really attained enlightenment?” An Lin turned to Yi Xi and asked with a profound expression.

Yi Xi faltered slightly at this question. He then recalled the expanding body of the baby before he exploded. Wasn’t that just like his own expanding body?

Then could it be that the explosion of the baby was supposed to represent the concepts of rebirth and nirvana?!

“Thank you for your teachings, Senior An Lin, I have attained enlightenment!!” Yi Xi bowed to An Lin excitedly.

An Lin blinked in shock. He was just trying to be cryptic, how did that lead to Yi Xi attaining enlightenment?

He didn’t want to ponder over this issue any longer and prepared to swallow the Heavenly Scorching Realm Pill.

He then suddenly recalled the scene where the golden baby had sh*t out the immortal pill…

An Lin turned to Yi Xi. “Yi Xi, I need to ask you a question.”

“Ask away, Senior An Lin!” Yi Xi was ecstatic after attaining enlightenment and was eager to answer all of An Lin’s questions.

An Lin: “Can this immortal pill be returned for a refund?”

Yi Xi: “…”

An Lin then made a concession. “What about an exchange?”

Yi Xi: “…”

Yi Xi had figured out why An Lin was reluctant to swallow the pill, and he could only sigh in resignation. “We don’t offer any refunds or exchanges, but we are happy to offer cleaning services.”

Even though the pill didn’t seem like it was dirty, An Lin still insisted on cleaning it in the holy pond of the Heavenly Court before he swallowed it.

The power imbued within this immortal pill was extremely fearsome, so fearsome that An Lin felt like it was threatening to burst out of his body.

Under the effect of the Evergreen Technique, the power within the pill was split into two streams. One of the streams flowed toward his four Divine Flames, thereby increasing the power of each of the flames; the other stream flowed toward his sea of vital energy, materializing the power of heavenly flames within his sea of vital energy which then transformed into a flaming round disc. The disc hung over his sea of vital energy like a miniature sun, lighting up the entire space with its radiance.

In the next instant, the golden baby had already pounced upon the miniature sun with his mouth wide open as his eyes glowed with excitement.

Boom!

Another bout of rumbling erupted in the sea of vital energy.

Immediately after that, an insignia of the sun appeared on the golden baby’s forehead. At the same time, a number suddenly appeared on his chest which quickly changed from 0.805 to 0.91. Following this, three Tai Chu characters also appeared beside the number: Sun is full.

An Lin heaved a sigh of relief after witnessing the changes taking place to the golden baby before focusing his attention on digesting the remaining power imbued within the pill.

Up to this point, he had gathered the powers of the sun, moon, and frost. The golden baby’s weight increased by more than 0.1 each time after absorbing the powers of the flames and the moon, but his weight only increased by about 0.05 after absorbing the power of frost. This discrepancy should have something to do with the type of power absorbed, as opposed to how much power was absorbed. After all, the golden baby refused to absorb any more power of a certain type after reaching a threshold.

Perhaps it was a coincidence, but there was only one remaining type of immortal pill that could manifest its power within the consumer’s sea of vital energy, and that was the second-grade immortal pill, Extreme Soul Pill.

Taking into account the past trend, there was a very good chance that the baby’s body weight would increase to one kilogram after he consumed this immortal pill, which meant he would be able to progress to Soul Formation Intermediate Stage!