I Might Be A Fake Cultivator

The rhythmic slap of rope on the ground was reverberating throughout An Lin’s living quarters.

A rabbit as tall as half a grown man held a long red skipping rope as she relentlessly skipped on the spot.

She had to complete An Lin’s assigned task of a hundred thousand skips a day. She had already completed half the quota, but she didn’t look tired at all, and her expression remained calm and indifferent.

An Lin returned to his living quarters and was quite glad to see Yue Tu abiding by the exercise regimen he had devised for her.

He immediately presented Yi Xi’s fat-burning cultivation method to Yue Tu.

An expression of undisguised shock appeared on Yue Tu’s face after hearing the cultivation method. “Who invented this fat-burning method? It’s such an awesome method!”

An replied with a solemn expression, “It was invented by Senior Yi Xi. Make sure you don’t reveal this cultivation method to anyone else without Senior Yi Xi’s consent!”

“Bullsh*t, you mean to tell me that fat ball of a man, Yi Xi, could invent such an amazing cultivation method?” Yue Tu wore a skeptical expression on her face.

“Hehe, don’t underestimate him. He also invented the Dao of pill-consumption. I’m not exaggerating here. If all the energy in his stomach spontaneously explodes, the entire Heavenly Court might be blown into oblivion!” An Lin replied with a proud smile.

Yi Xi’s Dao of pill-consumption was inspired by An Lin himself, so he was naturally quite proud the Yi Xi was able to become so powerful because of him.

Yue Tu hesitated momentarily and didn’t retort. Instead, she assumed an eager expression. “I’ve already gotten the gist of this cultivation method, how about we give it a try?”

An Lin nodded in agreement. “My thoughts exactly!”

An Lin and Yue Tu leaped onto a black brick and a jade pestle respectively before flying into the clouds away from the school.

The scorching sun hung in the sky and white clouds milled around underfoot. An Lin and Yue Tu stood shoulder to shoulder and activated their cultivation methods.

An Lin felt a warm flow of energy form in his stomach before quickly spreading through the rest of his body.

He then experienced an extreme burning sensation throughout his whole body.

The stream of scorching energy flowed through his meridians under the manipulation of the cultivation method and converged toward his mouth.

An Lin and Yue Tu looked at each other to find their own nervous expression mirrored on each other’s faces.

They then both averted their gazes and looked off into the distance as they opened their mouths in unison.

Boom!

An extremely powerful pillar of golden energy burst forth from An Lin’s mouth and extended for several kilometers. The pillar of energy instantly pierced through the clouds like a river of flames flowing through the sky and even the air around it was shimmering and warping from the scorching heat.

A similar pillar of golden energy also burst forth from Yue Tu’s mouth. However, her pillar of energy was more than ten times more powerful than An Lin’s and just the shockwave from its ejection alone was enough to knock An Lin flying on his black brick in the other direction.

Boom!

An earth-shattering boom erupted as the pillars of golden energy blasted into the distance. The clouds assembled in a radius of ten kilometers around them were instantly blasted into non-existence and the pillars of energy even left a trail of destructive, chaotic auras in their wake.

Yue Tu smacked her lips as smoke wafted out of her mouth. “That really burned!”

An Lin’s eyes widened in shock as he drew a sharp intake of breath. “How terrifying…”

It was fortunate that they had chosen the sky above the school to test out this cultivation method. If they had chosen to test this out within school grounds, Yue Tu’s oral cannon alone would’ve probably razed a mountain to the ground!

Even An Lin’s own oral cannon was extremely powerful, possessing power that rivaled his trump card, Nuclear Lightning Fist Technique. On top of that, it was a lot safer to use than his Nuclear Lightning Fist Technique! The only downside was that he experienced symptoms of exhaustion after using the technique.

“Let me see how effective it was!” Yue Tu immediately pulled out her white disc and hopped onto it with an uneasy expression.

A brilliant light burst forth from the white disc, displaying the number 27.268!

An Lin and Yue Tu were both overcome with joy. The experiment was a success!

Yue Tu’s body weight had dropped from 27.379 to 27.268!

“It’s just a pity that I seem to only be able to use this technique once a day as it’s quite an exhausting technique…” Yue Tu was a little disappointed.

“There’s no need to worry. Even if you only use it once a day, you can still lose over three kilograms of weight in a month. You’re going to reach your target weight with no problems at all!” An Lin laughed heartily.

Yue Tu was also ecstatic, and she leaped onto An Lin excitedly as if she was a normal-sized rabbit. “Once I’m permitted to return to the Moon Palace, I’ll give you some osmanthus cake!”

An Lin almost fell off his brick after being tackled by Yue Tu.

Holy f*ck, she’s really heavy!

An Lin held onto Yue Tu and grumbled to himself.

However, he was still quite happy that he could find a method to help Yue Tu reach her weight loss goal. The person he needed to thank the most was Yi Xi. If it wasn’t for Yi Xi, there was no way he could have found such an effective weight-loss method.

An Lin was thinking that he should pay another visit to Dou Shuai Palace and present a gift to Yi Xi to express his gratitude.

In the end, he decided to give him half a mooncake!

Thus, the two of them returned happily to An Lin’s living quarters.

After walking into the room, they immediately proceeded to fall asleep.

The after-effect of the fat-burning technique was even more fearsome than they had anticipated. Not only were the two of them both completely exhausted, they still had a burning pain running all throughout their bodies.

The next morning, Yue Tu blasted her oral cannon again.

After unleashing her earth-shattering cannon, she returned to An Lin’s dorm and instantly fell asleep.

An Lin took this opportunity to return to Dou Shuai Palace and present his gift of half a mooncake.

Yi Xi’s eyes almost bulged out of his head, and his breathing accelerated at the sight of the mooncake. “Mr. An Lin, could… Could this be mooncake made by Chang’e herself?”

An Lin nodded with a serious expression. “Of course, the Palace Leader of the Moon Palace gave me on mooncake. I only ate half and saved the other half for you! Please don’t argue with me, you have to accept this gift.”

Tears immediately began to streak down Yi Xi’s face as he enveloped An Lin in a tight hug. “My brother, you truly are my brother! To think you would spare half of Chang’e’s mooncake for me, what else can I say… Brother An Lin, I’ll remember this for as long as I live!”

Chang’e’s mooncakes had a similar effect to ordinary immortal pills. However, it was much more valuable than any immortal pill. This was because Chang’e gave out the mooncakes on her whims alone, so only a small handful of people in the Heavenly Court had the pleasure of tasting one of her mooncakes. Hence, Chang’e’s mooncakes had extremely high commemorative value.

An Lin smiled warmly and reached around to pat Yi Xi on the back, but to his surprise, he could only reach his arm.

Thus, the two of them embraced for a while longer.

An Lin didn’t expect Yi Xi to be so emotional. Perhaps he was touched by the fact that An Lin had split the mooncake in half when Chang’e had supposedly only given him one, or perhaps he was simply ecstatic because of how valuable the mooncakes were. Either way, he had completely broken down in tears like a 150-kilogram infant.

“Senior Yi Xi, I have something I need to ask you.” An Lin had to cut off this emotional sequence in exasperation.

“What do you want to ask, I’ll tell you everything I know!”

The extremely friendly and scorching gaze Yi Xi directed at him made An Lin a little uncomfortable.

“It’s not a huge question, I just want to ask if there are any pills that could form a cloud of energy directly in one’s sea of vital energy?” An Lin asked after a momentary pause.

Yi Xi took a deep breath as the scorching light in his eyes glowed even brighter. “Could it be that Mr. An Lin is going to put on a pill-consumption performance again? Although the pills that can satisfy your criteria are quite rare, I do know of them and I’m capable of refining a few types!”