I Might Be A Fake Cultivator

On a certain footpath in a bustling city.

An Lin walked on the street with a miniature white dog behind him.

“Hmm, let’s buy some carrot snacks for that stupid rabbit in the Moon Palace.

“Da Bai wants a portable video player for browsing beautiful women, so we’ll get one of those too.

“Wait, no, I should get two and download several hundred monkey clips on one of them on the off chance Xiao Chou would like one as well.

“What would Xiao Hong like? How about we get her a stereo and download some songs for her?

“Oh, I have to get a bunch of books for Zong Yongyan as well…”

…

An Lin was no longer taking on daigou duties, but he would still buy some special local products for friends that he was quite close with.

Soon, he came out of the shopping mall with a bunch of bags and was preparing to go to a place with no bystanders so he could stow them all away in his storage ring.

There were a lot of people on the streets, and someone as handsome as him would attract a lot of attention wherever he went. Hence, he had to be careful when using spatial magic tools.

He soon noticed that there was a woman in a white blouse walking toward him.

There was no way to not notice her because she was simply far too beautiful. Even among all the women he had seen to date, this woman ranked among the best in terms of physical appearance.

The woman wore a slightly cold expression with a waterfall of black hair pooling down behind her. Her eyes seemed to be imbued with some sort of special charm which drew the onlooker in like an enchanting spell.

An Lin’s first impression was that she was a cultivator. However, upon closer observation, he was unable to detect any energy fluctuations from her.

The woman was also looking back at An Lin, making him feel quite flattered.

Did you see that! Even a supreme-grade beauty like this one was unable to resist his gorgeous looks!

In a further surprising turn of events, the woman walked up to him voluntarily!

“Hi there, handsome, what are your views on maintaining world peace?” The woman smiled and her black eyes appeared even more alluring.

An Lin faltered slightly at her words. He could understand that his handsome looks were attracting attention; he could also understand that beautiful women may want to talk to him. But what the f*ck was this opening line?!

Were earthling greetings so trendy nowadays?

Why would she ask for his views on maintaining world peace without any context?

Unbeknownst to him, this woman was none other than the person tasked with maintaining world peace, Black Spirit Snake.

An Lin didn’t recognize her, but she recognized An Lin!

She knew that An Lin had lived for close to twenty years on Earth and had a good grasp on the situation on Earth. Furthermore, he had also come into contact with the cultivation culture of the Tai Chu Continent, so it could be said that he was qualified to speak about both worlds. Perhaps he would be able to offer up some unique insight.

It was with this in mind that Black Spirit Snake approached An Lin for their first-ever conversation.

An Lin was initially quite taken aback by her opening line, but he soon managed to recover his composure and began to ponder the situation.

“Hmm, my views on maintaining world peace… that’s a very broad topic. How about we find a place to sit and have an in-depth discussion?” An Lin suggested with a smile.

Black Spirit Snake hesitated momentarily before nodding with a smile of her own.

Xin Xin Cafe.

This was a cafe with artistic, antiquated decor and smooth, flowing music.

Black Spirit Snake picked up her cup with her slender hand and took a light sip as she looked at the man across from her with interest in her eyes.

An Lin was also quite curious about the woman. Although he was very confident in his looks, he knew the lady definitely didn’t accept his invitation to have coffee together just because he was handsome.

He felt like she had accepted his offer because he obviously had a lot of class.

“I feel like everyone has a responsibility to collectively maintain world peace. What we need to do is focus on one core idea and two branch concepts,” An Lin said solemnly.

Black Spirit Snake’s eyes immediately lit up. “One core idea and two branch ideas?”

An Lin nodded. “That’s right, we have to set an ideological construction as our core, instilling an upstander mentality among the masses and support hidden organizations in their efforts to maintain world peace.”

“Hmm… that is indeed a valid point. Instilling an upstander mentality among the masses may result in extremism and excessive vigilante justice, but this is a necessary course of action nonetheless… but can you elaborate further on your point about hidden organizations?” Black Spirit Snake responded with a serious expression.

An Lin couldn’t help but falter slightly at Black Spirit Snake’s intense gaze. He was just making up things on the spot, why was she taking him so seriously?!

Holy f*ck… was he really going to discuss world peace with this beauty in a cafe?

How did she not feel awkward? He was so embarrassed he could die!

However, perhaps this demonstrated that something was not quite right upstairs with the woman…

An Lin paused for a moment before continuing, “There will be situations where conflict occurs due to an imbalance between the large countries. At those times, an organization standing above all the major countries would need to step in to mediate. The organization must be an extremely powerful one, have a great understanding of the world, and possess a neutral, unbiased outlook. Only then, can it act as the ideal mediator.”

Black Spirit Snake blinked her eyes and nodded. “So we need a third-party organization? The strong dominate the weak, this is the natural order of things. Weak entities want to become powerful entities and powerful entities want to become even more powerful. All of this creates conflicts of interest so a conflict is unavoidable. However, we can also try to instill values within powerful entities that make them develop a sense of responsibility in maintaining world peace, thereby creating a reliable hidden organization as you suggested.”

“That’s right, I’m part of a WeChat group with a lot of people that would be interested in your ideas, I feel like you should discuss your thoughts with them.” An Lin felt like he had to end this conversation.

It was such a beautiful encounter, why did she insist on discussing such a strange topic?

Was there something wrong with the woman after all? An Lin began to ponder the notion a lot more seriously.

Black Spirit Snake’s eyes lit up at An Lin’s suggestion, and she eagerly brought out a white phone from her purse.

She had only been using phones for the past couple of days, but she had a basic grasp on all of its functions, so she was obviously familiar with WeChat as well.

An Lin scanned her QR code to find that her ID name was Black Spirit Snake. His chest immediately tightened and he looked up at her with suspicion. “By the way, do you know White Spirit Snake?”

Black Spirit Snake looked at him with a blank expression. “Huh? Who’s that?”

She then burst out in laughter. “Could it be that you think all these other colored spirit snakes exist just because my name is Black Spirit Snake?”

An Lin continued to survey her with a suspicious gaze. “The group I’m about to invite you into is called “All Cultivators of the World Unite Together to Protect Earth”. Are you sure you’d like to join this group?”

Black Spirit Snake: “… Sure, please add me.”

“Who are you?” An Lin placed his thumb on his storage ring as his expression darkened.

An Lin had finally lost his patience with her. Black Spirit Snake’s reaction upon hearing such a retarded group name was far too calm; it wasn’t how a normal woman would behave.

An Lin was sure there was something amiss about her.

The woman took a sip of her coffee before pouting at An Lin with a dainty gaze. “What? I just want to discuss the maintenance of world peace, why are you being so aggressive all of a sudden?”

“If you don’t tell me the truth, you’ll have to pay for the coffees,” An Lin sneered.

“Heh, you’re trying to mess with me.” The woman raised her eyebrows in dissatisfaction.

An Lin was just about to respond when a light breeze suddenly swept past.

His mind suddenly blanked out as he became rooted to his seat.

When he came to his senses again, he looked around himself with a blank expression.

He was in a cafe with artistic, antiquated decor and smooth, flowing music playing in the background. Da Bai was sitting on the ground beside him with a perplexed expression…

There were two cups of coffee in front of him with steam rising from the cups.

Who am I?

Where am I?

Why did I order two cups of coffee?

An Lin’s mouth fell open in confusion.

He felt like he had suffered memory loss.