I Might Be A Fake Cultivator

Da Bai seemed to be extremely excited, and he flicked through the porno mag for An Lin’s viewing pleasure.

“Big Brother An, this one is my favorite.

“However… this one is really hot, I like her too, woof!”

…

An Lin’s rage continued to build along with the build-up of testosterone in his body. He didn’t want to look, but the book was right in his line of sight, and his eyes were frozen in place, so he couldn’t even avert his gaze.

“Ah!”

A scream suddenly sounded at this moment.

Su Qianyun covered her heavily-blushing face and hurriedly fleed the scene.

An Lin: “…”

Da Bai finally exercised some restraint and silently stowed his porno mag away.

“Big Brother An, regardless of whether you can see these images or not, I won’t ever give up on you.

“I’m doing all this for your sake, you don’t even have to thank me…

“I’ll continue this tomorrow, woof!”

An Lin: “…”

An Lin was never going to forget all that Da Bai did for him…

Xuanyuan Cheng soon got up from his meditation.

He held an antique longsword and began practicing his sword techniques in front of An Lin.

Each of his sword techniques was extremely intricate and seemed to encompass all the living beings of the world.

His motions were graceful and enchanting, like flowing water— it was so badass!

Such a beautiful display was extremely pleasing to the eye.

This was what he should be looking at in the morning.

An Lin looked at Big Brother Cheng, then looked at Da Bai, and he was suddenly craving dog meat again.

Time slowly passed.

Xu Xiaolan once again appeared in front of An Lin at noon.

The pallor of her skin had recovered significantly, and she blinked at An Lin with a cute smile before walking over to the pavilion for some tea.

“Classmate Xiaolan, why did you get up so late?” Su Qianyun latched onto Xu Xiaolan’s arm and asked curiously.

“Well… it’s such a beautiful day to sleep in.” Xu Xiaolan yawned with a smile.

Su Qianyun tilted her porcelain-like face to look up at Xu Xiaolan and complained, “Xiaolan, I’m telling you, Da Bai is such a perverted dog, you should stay away from him.”

“Woof! Su Qianyun, how can you slander me like this!” Da Bai immediately retorted with a justified expression, “I only did what I did this morning under explicit instructions from Big Brother An before he was frozen!”

An Lin: “???”

Should he steam Da Bai or braise him?

Su Qianyun’s clear blue eyes widened in shock. “Really?”

“Of course! What kind of dog do you take me for?” Da Bai answered with a serious expression.

“What did Da Bai do this morning?” Xu Xiaolan asked curiously.

“Well…” A blush appeared on Su Qianyun’s delicate features. She was too embarrassed to elaborate on what she had seen.

“It’s actually something men do quite often with one another so it’s quite normal, you don’t need to know,” Da Bai spoke nonchalantly.

Su Qianyun stuttered for a while but didn’t continue with this topic of conversation.

Xu Xiaolan didn’t investigate any further either, and everyone began to chat together under the pavilion.

An Lin heaved a light sigh of relief.

There were two days left until doomsday for Da Bai…

Time was still passing by.

Xu Xiaolan still snuck to his room at night and used her Divine Flame Bead to warm An Lin’s body while she stayed quietly by his side.

Da Bai still persisted with his porno mag treatment to warm up An Lin’s body in the morning.

Xuanyuan Cheng practiced his sword techniques every day in front of An Lin in an attempt to keep him from boredom or perhaps just to show off.

As for Su Qianyun, she would often hang around An Lin awkwardly, at a loss for what to do or say. She was also constantly in fear that she might somehow unintentionally hurt An Lin. Other times, she would stare at An Lin adorkably to see if An Lin really was completely incapable of movement…

An Mingchuan often came to chat with An Lin and tried to persuade him against using such a freakish cultivation method, emphasizing to him the mantra of slow and steady wins the race and to treat cultivation like a marathon as opposed to a sprint.

These few days were truly a special experience for An Lin.

He was still constantly cold, but the bone-chilling coldness was significantly alleviated by the family and friends around him. It was exactly because of their presence that An Lin felt like even being frozen solid wasn’t really a frightening experience. At least he wouldn’t be lonely, and he wouldn’t be in despair.

On the final day.

The sun shone upon the transparent block of ice and droplets of water began to appear on the surface of the ice.

“Classmate An Lin’s ice is beginning to melt!” Su Qianyun yelled in pleasant surprise.

“Phew… so it really is melting after three days, we can all rest easy now.” Xuanyuan Cheng heaved a sigh of relief.

Xu Xiaolan stared at the ice melting around An Lin with a nervous and expectant gaze. She wanted nothing more than to stoke the flames and accelerate the process.

Da Bai hid behind An Mingchuan’s back and stared at An Mingchuan a little sheepishly.

Did Big Brother An hear what I said in the pavilion? Would he understand that everything I did was for his sake?

Crack…

A series of cracks appeared on the ice, and it soon shattered to the ground like panes of glass.

An Lin’s body slowly fell forward without the support of the ice around him.

Everyone immediately ran up to support him. Xu Xiaolan pressed a slim hand onto An Lin’s chest and injected the warm power of flames into his body. The warm feeling slowly heated up his body and melted his frozen meridians.

“Thank you, I’m OK now!” An Lin looked at Xu Xiaolan with gratitude as he stood up on his own.

His body recovered very quickly and it looked like there were no negative after-effects. This observation allowed him to breathe a sigh of relief.

“This is great, Little Lin, you’re finally awake!”

An Mingchuan enveloped An Lin in an excited hug. “Listen to me, don’t use this cultivation method ever again, my heart wouldn’t be able to bear it…”

“Alright, I’ve heard you say the same thing for the past three days, I’ll stop using this cultivation method.” An Lin smiled in reply.

An Mingchuan was quite surprised to hear this. “You could hear us even when you were frozen solid?”

An Lin smiled and nodded. “Of course, not only could I hear, but I could also see.”

He looked around at everyone and spoke sincerely, “It’s so great having all of you around me!”

Xu Xiaolan faltered slightly at her words, and a light blush tinged her porcelain-like cheeks as she wrung her hands tightly before her.

She was starting to panic a little. Did that mean An Lin knew everything she had said and done in the past three nights?

Da Bai’s whole body trembled as he listened to An Lin’s words. He wagged his tongue and looked at An Lin with his big watery eyes in a desperate bid to curry his favor.

“Alright, classmate, you’ve just been defrosted so you should go and have a rest,” Xuanyuan Cheng suggested. He was still quite worried about An Lin’s physical condition.

An Lin shook his head with a smile and intentionally kept his gaze off Da Bai. “That’s OK, I’m feeling great. Tonight… I’ll treat everyone to a dog meat feast!”

An Mingchuan was slightly taken aback by his words. “Dog meat? There aren’t that many dog meat restaurants around.”

An Lin finally focused his gaze on Da Bai with a sinister smile. “No need to look elsewhere. Da Bai is packing a few hundred kilograms of meat, that’s more than enough for us to eat…”

Everyone: “…”

Da Bai’s body shuddered, and he turned to bolt into the distance.

“You aren’t going anywhere!” An Lin smiled coldly as Wings of Wind materialized behind his back before he charged toward Da Bai in pursuit.

He grasped onto Da Bai’s snowy-white tail and violently slung his body toward the ground.

“Spare me! Big Brother An, everything I did was for your sake, woof woof woof!” Da Bai howled as all the blood drained from his face.

“Hehe, you should’ve thought about the consequences before you decided to f*ck with me!”

An Lin laughed grimly and his fists rained down on Da Bai’s body.

Gale-force winds whipped up in the air! Thunder and lightning exploded in the sky! The heavens collapsed and the earth crumbled!

Thump thump thump… bang bang bang… clatter clatter clatter… puff puff puff…

Thump thump thump… bang bang bang… clatter clatter clatter… puff puff puff…

Da Bai’s howls were filled with boundless remorse as they pierced through the heavens.