Chapter 435 - 9.54 Second Blue Star - Ye Xiajie's Insecurities
Hei Anjing had teleported himself and his husband to their bedroom. As soon as they've appeared in the room, he lets go of the collar of his husband then walks away in a bad mood. The ghost king who completely drank just now ran towards the bathroom as soon as they teleported.
BLERGH~
Teleportation is a space ability that allows one to transfer from one location to another. It caused distortion in dimensional space and would make one suffer a bit of motion sickness.
For a drunk person who had enough drink to form a small hill from his leftover empty bottles, this motion-sickness struck him so badly that he needed to puke to get better.
Ignoring the sounds of water and vomiting coming inside the bathroom, Hei Anjing, who was only wearing a bathroom, sat on the bed and pulled out a book to read. Whenever he is not in the mood to talk, Hei Anjing would read a book. It was his hobby and his habit.
Because reading gives him reason to ignore a person. He got this habit from his uncle who wanted to ignore his disciples who came over to report. Though his focus is not on the report as long as he heard the contents it would be enough at least he had listened to them talking.
It took a whole hour before Ye Xiajie went out of the bath. He finished bathing half an hour early but he was afraid that his wife would be angry to death with him, so he decided only to come out after an hour. When he saw that Xue Hua's eyes were still silver he knew that his wife was still awake. He walked with urgent steps towards the wardrobe to change his bathroom with clothes when he heard his wife's voice behind him.
Hei Anjing spoke, "Come over now if you have something to say else I'm going back to sleep."
Hearing those words, forget about change Ye Xiajie even forgot to close the wardrobe cabinet as he went to the bed and sat in front of his wife. His head was lowered as he sneaked a peek at his wife who was using the pretext of reading to ignore him.
During their past lives in the former worlds whenever he angered his wife, he would ignore him by reading a book. He knew that unless he spoke out first Hei Anjing would ignore him the whole day. Gathering all his courage he held his wife's hand gently. He slightly frowned when he felt his hands were slightly colder than normal.
It was as if he had held a block of ice in his hand, Ye Xiajie panicked and took away the book blocking his wife's face. Once he finally saw Hei Anjing's state he trembling reached out his hand and touched those pale cheeks. It was so white that he could already see the red and blue veins on his wife's skin.
This state is clearly not normal. Ye Xiajie tried healing him but unfortunately, light elements had not much effect on Hei Anjing because of his bloodline. Though light elements can heal his wounds and remove the pain in his physical state, the soul is a different story.
"Jing'er, you..."
Hei Anjing remained cold-faced as he stared at his husband's worried expression. But the hands that held his cheeks were warm, it made him a bit comfortable as if easing the coldness of his body. He unconsciously rubs his cheeks to those warm hands.
"Your hands have always been warm. I like it..." said Hei Anjing with a small smile at the corner of his purple lips. "Don't waste your qi. Light elements never had enough effects on us, Mo and it is my soul that is injured, it cannot be healed with just your qi alone."
Ye Xiajie had lots of things to ask but as if something was stuck in his throat that not even a single sound came out.
Hei Anjing never wanted to make his husband look like this. This is another reason why he never met him when he's awake. Though he is indeed angry, he had already punished this person in the last world. That was enough. Because he knew he would blame himself again if he saw his current state.
"I'm cold, my love..." said Hei Anjing.
Upon hearing this Ye Xiajie had pulled over the blanket on the bed and covered Hei themselves with it then pulled him over to his lap and hugged him even tighter as his embrace as if he wanted to give him all his warmth.
The Ghost King was hugging him tightly from behind as their hands were clasped with all twenty fingers entwined with each other.
Ye Xiajie asked, "Did you injure your soul again because of what happened in the last world?"
"There is also that but..."
"I'm sorry. I'm so stupid. I promised before I would never harm you but my soul fragment... Killed you. I... I... feel so useless. Then in the last world, I made you cry with tears of blood. Baby, can you tell me what is happening? There is also that person who has the same face as me. Is that really me, my soul fragment?
Baby, I'm so confused. I don't have any memories of us. The only thing I have for you are my feelings. My love for you and my everything but that seems not enough. I always felt that I haven't done enough for you and you had already done everything for me.
Baby, have I been taking advantage of you? I am really useless. I couldn't even protect you and harm you instead. I feel like I am scum and do not have any right to love you at all. I..."
Ye Xiajie keeps talking and all the words he spoke are the source of his insecurities. This was the first time he had told this to his wife. He thought as the husband he must solve his problems himself but as he tried to solve one another problems would surface and it felt endless for him.
So when his younger brother appeared saying that he will share his memories, he agreed to all his requirements which included his death in the last world. He just wanted to know the details of the past he had forgotten. So when he saw the cause of his death and how his wife had ended up in the Nether System when he was a Celestial Executioner of the God System, he was annoyed with himself.
He saw the scene of himself resting his head on Hei Anjing's lap while the latter is crying with tears of blood while hugging him. He understood why his wife reacted like that in the last world.
Then he also saw why his wife is not willing to tell him about this. Because deep inside his wife's heart, he is blaming himself for the death of his mother. After all, in that world aside from Gui Xiajun only his mother had shown him kindness. The Ye Gui race has never been a good clan. They nurture only those with strength and kill those who are far weaker than normal. A true sense of survival to the fittest.
When he saw his mother die under Hei Anjing's blade he never blamed him for it. After all, it was that bastard who had pulled his mother over to use as a barrier before Hei Anjing's blade was thrust into his heart. That monster who is known for his cruelty even towards his own family.
Rumors even said that his own father's death was something he had plotted before he became the leader of their race. Before his father, Ye Mo, becomes the leader of their race it was said that their race had betrayed their creator and killed him this made them receive the punishment of being exiled from Vearth and their Ye Gui Clan had their first and second generations all killed by the Ruler God Shen Siwang in anger after his brother was killed.
Only children were spared thanks to the Origin stopping Shen Siwang at the last moment. No one knew what the Origin had said to him but he spared the youngest generation because of it. Only Ye Mo and his generation were exiled and the rest were all killed by the God of Light.
But Ye Mo never thought of it as their kindness instead he felt even more hatred towards the Mo Family due to this. As he became the leader of his race he married countless women and bore many children. Only those who were strong had the right to live and the weak ones could only serve as servants regardless of the purity of their bloodline.
And all of the new generations were forced to accept a life mission issued by the Clan leader himself, failure to accomplish their soul which they've signed with Ye Mo would be destroyed. This includes him and his mission just happened to be Hei Anjing, the only person he loves.
At that time he died because he protected Hei Anjing from his father. If the memory of his Gui Xiajun is correct, it could only mean that he had thoroughly died that day. He couldn't understand why he could still be alive today after his father had destroyed his soul core with his own hands.
Ye Xiajie spoke, "Baby I... I did die that day right? I'm sure I've died. That person had personally dug out my heart and soul core. He shattered my soul in front of you. Baby, how did I survive?"
SILENCE~
When he asked this the person within his embrace had stiffened. He knew that what he said was all true. He had seen through Gui Xiajun's eyes his own death and when that person shattered his soul core. There is no way he could have lived much less enter reincarnation with such a broken soul.
But that's all that Ye Xiajun had a scene, he was forced to leave when Hei Jue and Mo Baojun arrived in the area as for what happened after that only those three knew what happened.
Ye Xiajun asked once again. "Baby, how did I survive? What did you do? If that is the reason why the injuries of your soul never heal. I..."
"Shut up! Don't ask!!!" yelled Hei Anjing.
Hei Anjing unexpectedly suddenly shouted. That was the first time he had heard him scream. He is not only a collected and rational type of person. He is cold-hearted by nature and because of this, he is always calm. That's why when he suddenly yelled, Ye Xiajie was shocked.
"Stop asking! I am forbidden to tell you anything," said Hei Anjing as his voice trembled as he spoke.
"Baby...?"
"Hah~, I cannot tell you everything but you are right. What Xiajun had seen that day are all real. You... You were really dead. I went to see the Origin after that, but as for the details I cannot say. But... Once your souls had completely merged then... Uncle Si said that you would understand it yourself. As you already know before this happens, what was done to bring you back."
Hei Anjing suddenly turned around and held Ye Xiajie's face to himself. There is guilt within those silver orbs for not being able to tell him as if saying to him that, you can blame. Just place all blame on me. I will accept everything.
"You would definitely feel insecure in your heart but... I cannot clear all your doubts. I am willing to accept anything from you. You can hurt me, kill me as many times as you wish. I only beg of you for one thing. Please... Please don't die for real on me even once. Once even one of your soul fragments vanished I... don't want to lose you again." whispered Hei Anjing whole, staring at Ye Xiajie's black eyes. But those silver orbs that started on him were full of tears and begging.
This is the source of Ye Xiajie's insecurities, pain as well as regret.
Ye Xiajie's thoughts, 'If only I had my memories I would know the reason for your tears.'