I Can Turn into a Fish

The beauty was disappointed and said, “I’m a streamer on Douyu; you can check it out when you’re bored. My name is Witch(1), handsome. Shall we play?”

Chu Xian looked at the beautiful girl making this request and nodded, “Sure, what’s the game?”

“It’s very simple!” Witch replied with a smile, extending the cards in her hand. “I have a deck of cards. Let’s play the simplest game, High and Low. We each pick a card with the ace as the smallest and king as the highest and compare whose card is bigger.”

“High and Low, sure!” Chu Xian said casually with a nod.

“That’s great. Since we’re gambling with High and Low, we obviously have to bet something! What do you say?” Witch said, cocking an eyebrow with an expression like she’d just hooked a fish.

“A bet? What do you want to bet?” Chu Xian asked curiously, then glanced at the girl with the tablet on the side.

“Haha, this loser is going to get wrecked.”

“Look at this perv, his eyes staring at our Witch. Just by looking at him you can tell he’s a tissue-loser(2).”

“Driver Witch is about to start the car, VROOM VROOM(3), everyone buckle in!”

“Starting the engine, engaging the gears, turning on the front-light, checking the rearview mirror. En en en, vroom!”

“Heehee. Handsome, don’t look!” the beauty with the tablet said when she saw Chu Xian looking over. After hiding and retreating a few steps, she continued aiming the camera at Chu Xian and the streamer girl.

“Come on, handsome. Let’s not bet money. Let’s play truth or dare instead, and whoever loses can ask the other a question or ask them to do something, okay?” the Witch said, giggling.

“Sure!” Chu Xian said. Since he already agreed, he just had to see where this went.

“Okay then. Take this card and check if there’s anything wrong with it,” Witch said while passing Chu Xian a card.

Chu Xian nodded and took the card, flipped it over and checked it. Then he shook his head, saying, “There’s no problem.”

“That’s good,” Witch said and took back the card. “Since there’s no problem, let’s begin.”

After shuffling the cards and fanning them out she asked, “You first or me?”

“Either way is good!” Chu Xian replied and randomly picked a card.

“Okay, since you picked, I’ll pick now,” the Witch said, picking a card as well.

Chu Xian showed his card – nine of spades, not too bad. The Witch’s eyes sparkled as she flipped her own card and said, “You lose, mine is a Queen of Spades.”

Chu Xian shook his head and said, “Okay I lose, a bet is a bet.”

“Heehee,” the Witch laughed, pleased. She walked over to the girl with the tablet and asked the audience, “Everybody, give suggestions. What truth should I ask? What dare should I make him do?”

Chu Xian curiously walked over and glanced at the viewer suggestions in the chat.

“One hundred and ten thousand people(4)! That’s a lot!” Chu Xian exclaimed with surprise, but when he saw the suggestions flooding the screen, his face turned black.

“Ask him if he ever f***ed a dog!”

“Witch, ask him how long he lasts!”

“Ask him if his girlfriend is tasty down there!”

“Make him do the dog by the side!”

“Host, get him to take off his pants and entertain us!”

…

“Heehee, can you guys stop being so evil? I’m still a pure and innocent young girl!” the Witch said with a cute laugh.

“Okay, handsome. You lost the first time, and I’m too embarrassed to ask these outrageous questions. I’ll start with an easy one: how many times can you do it in one night?” the Witch asked mockingly.

“Eh,” Chu Xian looked speechlessly at her, then answered honestly, “Three times, but if you count the morning then four times.”

“Wow! So strong, the best guys in the movies I’ve watched can only do it twice,” the Witch replied with a pointed look.

“Only four? Too weak – I can do it seven times in a night; call me Seven-Times Lang!”

“One night pass ten times!”

“Only once, but lasting the whole night!”

“When my wife and her two friends were talking, the first asked, ‘How many times can your husband do it in one night, and how long does each time last? My husband can do it three times in one night, and each time lasts half an hour—isn’t he something?’ The second one said, ‘That’s nothing, my husband can do it five times in one night, each time with twenty different positions!’ My wife said, not knowing whether to laugh or cry, ‘Every time my husband does it, it’s only for five minutes.’ The first woman replied, ‘Ah! You poor thing, your husband is too weak!’ My wife replied weakly, ‘But he keeps shooting for the whole five minutes.’

“Witch is going to start her engine again, buckle in guys!”

The chat had all kinds of comments popping up, and Chu Xian was speechless when he saw them all.

“Heehee, okay,” the Witch smiled and said, “Let’s start the next round!”

Chu Xian had no objections, so he nodded his head and took another card.

When the Witch revealed her King of Hearts, Chu Xian frowned. Looking speechlessly at the Queen of Spades in his hand, he said, “I lost again. I choose ‘truth’ — ask your question!”

“Witch, ask him how he’s survived so long when he’s so stupid.”

“Haha! Our Witch is a magician. In the end, this poor *** is going to be destroyed!”

“Witch’s nickname is Hundred Slayer. Playing this game, she never loses!”

Chu Xian accidentally saw the comments from several of the viewers and glanced at the Witch’s smug face with a frown.

“En, what’s the best question to ask this time? When was your first time and who did you give it to?” the Witch asked with a face full of derision.

“Sophomore year in College, to my girlfriend,” Chu Xian answered immediately.

“Are you sure you didn’t give it to your right hand?” the Witch asked with a huge smile.

“Well, if you count my hand then I can’t remember when!”

“Haha okay, I’ll let that one go. Let’s continue. If you lose again I’ll ask a more vicious question,” the Witch warned him.

“That’s fine!” Chu Xian said with a meaningful look.

“Okay! You said it yourself! When the time comes, you can’t back out! One hundred thousand people are watching!” the Witch said, laughing excitedly. “You go first!”

“You first this time!” Chu Xian said, not taking her card.

“If that’s what you want, I’ll go!” the Witch said casually, picking a card.

Chu Xian smiled, and willing it, used his Control ability. Suddenly, he had a God’s view(5) – every time he shifted his focus by one meter, everything within an eight-meter diameter came into his view.

“King of Diamonds. So she really can get a big card every time.”

Chu Xian looked at the fanned out cards, picked a card, and flipped it with a confident smile.

“Big King, the biggest card!” Chu Xian said.