I Can Turn into a Fish

The chubby man smiled and nodded, walking into the shop. When he saw the fish tanks, he was stunned and immediately rushed forward.

Chu Xian watched with a small smile and explained by the side, “These are all the highest grade of goldfish. Big bro, if you know goldfish, you’ll be able to tell the difference.”

“Not bad, not bad. All of them are exquisite, very rare!” the young man exclaimed in surprise as he examined each fish.

As a goldfish enthusiast, he had seen many delicate goldfish prettily swimming in tanks, but their beauty came only partly from the fish and partly from the lighting.

Many sellers installed all kinds of colored lights to make their fish appear more beautiful. Though all the fish in front of him had no fancy lighting, they were still extremely bright and sparkled. These goldfish could only be found in an extremely high-quality breeding environment.

“The quality of my fish are without question; big bro, if you like any, then pick some to take home!” Chu Xian replied with a big smile.

All the fat on the young man’s face writhed together, his heart torn as he looked at the tanks. Gritting his teeth, he finally asked, “Boss, if I want a whole tank, what discount can you give me?”

Chu Xian paused in silence and the young man looked at him nervously; a small fish tank had at least six goldfish which was twelve thousand RMB and very expensive for him, but as a goldfish enthusiast, he couldn’t walk away without buying any and would regret it if he bought too few – six was just the right amount.

“Big bro, since you’re my first customer I’ll give you six for ten thousand and the fish tank for free,” Chu Xian finally said.

“Okay, I’ll take it!” the man gestured as he said this with clenched teeth.

Chu Xian’s eyes flashed with an excited light and he said, “Good! You can choose any six of these fish. Big bro, I hope you can tell your friends about me!”

“No problem. Although your fish are expensive, they’re all top quality,” the young man said with a nod. “Can I pay you through WeChat?”

“Of course!” Chu Xian agreed immediately. After receiving the ten thousand RMB, he helped the customer pick out six goldfish and gifted him a fish tank.

When the customer finally left, Chu Xian pumped his fist and yelled excitedly, “Yes!” He earned ten thousand from this first sale – something he wouldn’t have even dared to imagine before.

“Online publicity seems very useful,” Chu Xian thought, pushing down his excitement. Taking out his phone, he made a Twelve-Red Goldfish video and posted it, and he also posted the wire transfer screenshot–even though this was a notoriously shady WeChat merchant stunt, he decided to do it anyway.

“I’ll post in my Moments too!” Chu Xian smirked a little and shared his screenshot. “Heh. It’s such a waste if I don’t show off a little when I can.”

After making the post, Chu Xian opened the classmate group chat and waited to see what kind of mud his classmates would sling.

“Damn it! They’re even talking about how I don’t deserve Xiao Ying!” Chu Xian swore with an unhappy expression after scrolling through the chat history. His male classmates all acted like sour grapes(1).

“F**k me! Bro, you’re too strong! Check out Chu Xian’s new post – a ten thousand wire transfer. Chu Xian, you’re just going to post this without saying anything?”

“Not signs of Photoshop at all!”

“So many WeChat merchant tricks – Chu Xian’s striking back! Don’t forget your little bro when you make it!”

Just then, one of his classmates posted his screenshot and immediately several people replied.

Chu Xian wasn’t angry at their sarcastic comments; instead, he was amused. He didn’t realize how much his attitude had changed.

Even though there were classmates who mocked him, there were also some good people who supported him, and it was because of them that he stayed in the group. He closed WeChat and opened the Fast Hands app.

There were a lot of people on the Fast Hands platform and it never lacked trolls, but it also never lacked people who knew the business. Chu Xian’s goldfish video drew a lot of viewers and a lot of discussions.

Several people added him on WeChat, but no one really wanted to buy. In the end, just one fish for two thousand RMB – or five for ten thousand – was definitely a luxury.

“Qing Qing, come look. How about we buy some goldfish and keep them in the dorm?” a clear voice came from outside the shop.

“Goldfish? Sure, but I want a small turtle. Turtles are so cute!” one of the girls nodded and replied.

Four young women chattered and walked into his shop. Chu Xian saw them and politely greeted them, “Welcome beautiful ladies, please look around.”

“En en, sure boss. Do you have any small turtles?” a cute girl asked with big, expectant eyes.

Chu Xian shook his head, saying, “I only have high-quality goldfish – take a look around!”

“Oh? Why don’t you sell some small turtles? They’re so cute!” the cute girl said with a pout that amused Chu Xian, but he didn’t reply.

The other girls came in and looked at goldfish swimming in their tanks. “Wow!” one of them said, “This fish tank is so pretty, and there’s a little man fishing! That’s so funny!”

“These goldfish are so beautiful! So cute!”

“Come look at this! It looks like a panda! It’s so cute! So cute! I want one! I want this one!”

“This one is pretty too. Look at its eyes and mouth surrounded with red; its silky tail looks like a mermaid!”

“Wow, wow, wow! They’re so beautiful! What do I do – I want all of them!”

The girls were immediately captivated by the beautiful goldfish, and every one of them lowered their heads and bent their bodies, of course raising their …(2) in the air. All of them leaned against the fish tanks with excited faces, pointing here and there.

“I want to buy this one, and this one, and this one too! Wu wu, they’re even cuter than small turtles!” the cute girl pointed at some goldfish one after another and excitedly said.

“Boss, how much for this goldfish?” one of the slim and tall girls asked Chu Xian.

“There’s a price on the tank!” Chu Xian said and pointed.

The girls lowered their heads and looked curiously at the note stuck on the side of the tank.

“Our goldfish are 2000 RMB each. No bargaining. Free fish tank if you buy more than five!”

Translator’s Thoughts

 Aristophaneso

(1)- Lol. All seven of them

(2)- The ellipses were there in the original. Lol, this writer doesn’t seem to understand girls that much. Just judging from the dialogue, it seems like the girls are very young, but the dorm and the “appreciation” implies they are more of a college age. Feels a bit creepy.