Chapter 39: I’m Really F*cking Cheap…
Chapter 39: I’m Really F*cking Cheap…
Translator: Whatsyourissue Editor: ICheah
“It’s quite a long story,” Dong Tianleng sighed dramatically. “I have the worst possible luck ever.”
“Bad luck?” Yun Yang’s eyes goggled in incredulity.
It must have been terribly bad luck indeed for him to have ended up in this state!
“Well, last night, I waited for you for quite a while before I left. You didn’t come back…” Dong Tianleng glared at Yun Yang irritably and spat, his saliva flecked with blood. “Since I had nothing much to do, I went out to seek for a wager…”
A wager?
Yun Yang was terribly confused. What kind of wager could he have gotten himself into?
“Clearly, I lost.” Dong Tianleng said regretfully. “It was a simple wager; everyone was in for the fun of it. Each person placed a bet of a hundred mystical stones and a medicinal pill. We agreed that there would be roughhousing, but no deaths. The bet was that whoever lost has to be beaten up by his enemy, bad enough that even his own mother would not recognize him.”
Yun Yang’s eyes twitched at the thought of such ridiculous conditions.
“Which son of a b*tch set this idiotic rule?” Yun Yang was in disbelief. “You actually agreed to it?”
Both guards coughed simultaneously and seemed to be looking everywhere else at once.
Dong Tianleng blinked rapidly and looked at Yun Yang with a certain measure of guilt in his eyes. “Well, ahem, that son of a b*tch just happens to be… me.”
Yun Yang experienced a paroxysm of coughing upon hearing that.
Dong Tianleng quickly defended himself and said, “The younger generation of the great families are all very competitive and refused to acknowledge the possibility that others could be better. This sort of arrogance had caused several unnecessary deaths… until all the families unanimously agreed to this rule. It was a way for us younger ones to compete against each other without any fatal mishaps occurring. It was a peaceful way to solve our grudges.”
Yun Yang couldn’t help grinning at the irony of the statement.
“Gradually, everyone began quarreling, but it wasn’t enough to fully vent the pent-up anger. It was about then that I suggested this wager. In future, whoever loses can be walloped by his opponent as a way to vent their anger but the opponent cannot beat him to death. He has to, however, beat him up until his own mother wouldn’t be able to recognize him… and the loser is not allowed to apply any medication or attempt to heal his injuries; he has to wait for it to heal naturally.”
Yun Yang sighed despondently.
“Who would have known that ever since the wager was formed, I would usually end up being the one who got a trashing.” Dong Tianleng said with a sniff, “There have been only eight wagers, but I’ve lost five times already.”
Yun Yang was at a loss as to how to respond to this level of idiocy…
With your IQ, you were allowed to set the rules of this game?
“Then why are you here this early in the morning instead of resting in the tavern?”
What Yun Yang had truly wanted to say was “I’m very busy” but he was too nice a person to do so without feeling a twinge of guilt.
“I believe that you are the only one who can help me,” Dong Tianleng said looking at Yun Yang with undisguised admiration.
“Me?” Yun Yang’s said in strangled voice. You bunch of second generation children with all your crazy games; what could I possibly help you with?
“Yes, you’re the forefather of popinjays!” Dong Tianleng said in adoration, “Among the people whom I have met, no one can challenge you in these games; no one can be a better popinjay than you. If you help me, it’s an absolute certainty that we will be able to beat these people.”
Dong Tianleng said hopefully and adoringly, “Big brother, my lord, I ask that you use your enriched experience of being a popinjay to give these opponents of mine the trashing of their lives!”
Enriched experience of being a popinjay…
Yun Yang felt like crying woefully.
I really don’t have it!
Looking at Dong Tianleng’s hopeful gaze, Yun Yang said helplessly, “Look, I really can’t help you with this.”
“No…” Dong Tianleng begged, “Big brother, my lord, blood brother! As long as you help me, to beat those three bastards up just this once, I’ll do anything you want me to! I will give you anything you want!”
“I don’t want anything from you and I don’t want you to do anything as well. I can’t help you.” Yun Yang remained adamant.
“You’re really not helping me?”
“No!”
“You’re really willing to just stand there and watch me die?” Dong Tianleng’s expression was incredulous.
“No means no!”
Yun Yang was unaffected by Dong Tianleng’s play at sympathy.
Plop!
Dong Tianleng dropped to his knees in front of Yun Yang.
“What on earth are you doing?” Yun Yang tried to drag the hapless fellow up.
“I won’t get up if you won’t help me!” Dong Tianleng spoke with stubborn determination.
“Get up and we’ll talk about it!”
“I won’t get up even if I die if you don’t help me! It’s meaningless for me to live if you don’t help me to win. I’ll just kneel here until death comes to claim me! I’ll take my own life first before I let anyone move me from this spot!”
Dong Tianleng spotted his two guards who were moving over to pull him up and hollered, “I’ll break my meridians! I’ll starve to death! I’ll kneel to death! I’ll…I’ll behead myself with my sword!”
“I don’t want to live anymore, and there’s nothing that you all can do about it!”
Yun Yang was out of his wits. He had gone along with the flow when facing Ji Ling’s threat previously but he always had a way out. Now though, he faced a knave who would not budge with force nor with persuasion, with oil nor salt, who simply refused to be swayed.
Yun Yang felt a terrible headache start to bloom between his eyes. He pleaded to the guards “Are you fellows not bothered by your young master’s behavior?”
Both guards wore twin bitter smiles. “Young Master Yun, it’s not that we’re not bothered but we really can’t do anything about it.”
“It’s no use going after them!” Dong Tianleng kneeled on the ground as he roared with newfound strength, “It’s useless going after anyone! Even if you ask my father to come over, it would be useless as well! I am my own man and I’m not getting up until I decide to do so!”
Yun Yang was rendered utterly helpless by this young master’s hysterical behavior.
“Look even if I could, I don’t even know how to help. I don’t even know what you fellows are betting on.” Yun Yang massaged his temples, feeling terribly exhausted by this brief encounter.
“So you’ve agreed to help me?” Dong Tianleng raised his head in delighted surprise.
“Why don’t you tell me about it and I’ll see if I can help,” Yun Yang replied non-committedly.
“We bet on mystical beasts!” Dong Tianleng sighed, “We placed wagers on eighth level mystical beasts this time but we have no control over grown eighth level beasts so we placed bets using young ones. Two beasts would fight and the one that wins will move on to fight with another one that’s won. The final round would be on the wagers mentioned earlier.”
“My Double-headed Elysian Lion…” Dong Tianleng looked like he had f*cked a dog. “I thought it was already the cream of the crop. Who knew those bastards managed to get their hands on a Silvertail Howler1, the young of an eighth level pinnacle mystical beast. It’s one level higher than mine, an eighth level intermediate.”
“That’s two levels higher.” Yun Yang snorted before saying, “Eighth level intermediate, eighth level ace, eighth level pinnacle. That’s two levels higher and still, you went ahead with the fight… how could you possibly win?”
“That’s how I lost.” Dong Tianleng said pitifully, “My lord, just look at how badly I’ve been beaten!”
“I really can’t help you with this.” Yun Yang shook his head. “Two levels higher, just the restrictions stemming from the level difference could kill you. If they keep using this Silvertail Howler to fight you, you would lose even if you tried to fight a hundred times.”
“But that Silvertail Howler is younger than mine.” Dong Tianleng said hurriedly, “That one is only three years and five months old, mine is already six years old. Six years old! It’s still possible to win!”
Yun Yang sighed. Theoretically, it was possible.
Realistically however, he would undoubtedly lose.
Unless… I take a personal hand in training this dog of a Double-headed Elysian Lion.
Perhaps he could help after all.
“Dong Tianleng…” Yun Yang murmured to himself and finally said frowning, “Let’s put it this way. If you can give me a single piece of information, I’ll help you with this.”
“Big brother, just ask and you shall have it!” Dong Tianleng jumped to his feet in high spirits, his movements spry and agile. “I will give you whatever information you wish! Even if you want my father’s information, I will also…”
“Hold it!” Yun Yang said exasperatedly. “Follow me.”
“You fellows wait right here!” Dong Tianleng ordered his guards and turned to follow Yun Yang.
The guards looked at each other wordlessly, certain that their young master had been bewitched.
They had humbled themselves to ask their young master this question two nights earlier, “Why do you treat Yun Yang so differently?” Thinking back on their young master’s answer had them both feeling absolutely… f*cked.
There are a lot of reasons. First, Boss Yun is not an eyesore to me; second, if I were placed in his shoes to do what he did, I wouldn’t dare to; third, he’s not an eyesore to me; fourth, he’s not an eyesore to me.”
Both the guards had no reasonable response to this madness.
Not an eyesore!
Beautiful women are not an eyesore to your father either! What kind of a reason is this?
…
In the room, the two men stopped to converse.
“Dong Tianleng.” Yun Yang said, “I’ve always been curious about the most mysterious clan in the martial arts world.”
“The most mysterious clan?” Dong Tianleng asked in curiosity, “The Concourse of the Underworld?”
“No.” Yun Yang said, “A clan even more mysterious than the Concourse of the Underworld.”
“Such a clan does not exist.” Dong Tianleng said with unshakeable certainty.
“Doesn’t exist?” Yun Yang frowned. “Are you sure?”
“I am absolutely certain of it.” Dong Tianleng nodded seriously.
Yun Yang kept quiet for a heartbeat before asking, “What about the Four Seasons Tower?”
Dong Tianleng’s expression took on a sickly look.
“Shush!” Dong Tianleng looked like he was about to throw himself over to cover Yun Yang’s mouth. “Big brother, my lord, your words are going to get one, if not both of us killed. How did you find out about the Four Seasons Tower?”
Yun Yang’s eyes shone in triumph. “You know about it?”
“I don’t know anything about it.” Dong Tianleng replied through gritted teeth. “My advice is that you remain ignorant about it as well. That sort of knowledge is not conducive to a long and healthy life.”
Yun Yang spread his arms wide. “Then I have no choice in the matter. You can go get yourself beaten to death. I can’t help you anymore.”
“Dong Tianleng looked utterly miserable as Yun Yang walked over to the door, with no intention to linger.
“Big brother, don’t…” Dong Tianleng pulled at his sleeve.
Yun Yang already had a foot out the door. “Please leave, I still have lots to do today.”
“I really don’t know much…” Dong Tianleng was terribly distraught over the matter.
“I don’t want to hear about it anyway.” Yun Yang looked at him weirdly. “I really have something urgent to do.”
Dong Tianleng finally said helplessly, “Alright, I’ll tell you everything I know. But you’ll have to tell me why you want to know about Four Seasons Tower?”
“I have things to do. I don’t want to know about it anymore.” Yun Yang flung Dong Tianleng’s hand away.
“Don’t, don’t, don’t…” Dong Tianleng was in utter panic. Looking at Yun Yang’s cold demeanor, he let loose a string of expletives, “Big brother, I won’t ask anymore. I’ll just tell you everything, alright?”
“I’m not asking and I don’t want to hear it.” Yun Yang rolled his eyes and turned about to leave.
“Don’t… Big brother…”
Seeing that he could not stop him, Dong Tianleng dropped to his knees again, and wailed in desperation, “Big brother, I beg of you to ask me and hear me out!”
With a loud smack, Dong Tianleng slapped himself as he said tearfully, “I’m really f*cking cheap…”
…
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Translator Note:
1Silvertail Howler (银尾犼yín wěi hǒu): mystical beast with its concept derived from Chinese legendary creature that has ten characteristics that resembles animals: horns like a deer, head like a camel, ears like a cat, eyes like a shrimp, mouth like a donkey, hair like a lion, neck like a snake, belly like a giant shellfish, scales like a koi, front paws like an eagle, and rear paws like a tiger; legends says it if one of the Dragon King’s son that has the habit of guarding.