Chapter 815 Go on [3/3]
"Did you… bring me here because –" Alicia asked slowly, a little unsure if she should finish her question.
"No." Ezekiel cut her off quickly, not allowing her to finish her question. "I originally brought you here so the both of us could wash up."
Alicia bit on her lip when he suddenly turned her around to look at her face. "Are you trying to hide a smile?" he asked, his grey eyes gleaming so seriously. He was right. She bit her lower lip because a smile had just curved on her face at his words. She was not even sure why those words were making her smile.
And now Alicia just found all that seriousness plastered over his face as he questioned her somewhat wholesomely. Oh goodness… how could she find Ezekiel's serious expression wholesome?! Her brain was really being messed up by this man!
"What if I am? What are you going to do about it?" she asked, challenging him and tilting her chin up a little. She no longer tried to hide the small smile on her face anymore – and it was threatening to grow wider.
"If this is your way to distract me, you're not doing the job quite right, Alicia." Ezekiel's voice rumbled out.
"Oh, really? My bad then…" she shrugged, beaming at him now. "Why don't you tell me how to distract you? Hmm? Ezekiel?" her tone was playful, suggestive.
He stilled. Seemingly unable to look away from the vision that was her. But he eventually tore his gaze off hers and shoved his fingers into his hair. "I don't know. Everything you do seem to only further fan the flames within me." He breathed out heavily as though short of breath.
She watched his jaws clench a little. She had decided not to ask anything tonight because she knew that if she tried to dig even more into all those confessions he had uttered to her while he thought that she was unconscious, they might just explode as a result.
Alicia did not want that happening especially tonight. It was enough for him to suffer through that confession. She had felt that he seemed to be experiencing something torturous at the same time as he speak of it. Even though he had revealed the extent of how much he desired her all those times until now, Ezekiel was still hanging on, holding on and trying not to give in completely to his greatest temptation – which was her.
She wondered what was it that he would need to end up sacrificing if he took her now. If he finally gave in and made love to her now and succumbed to his long-standing desire, what will actually happen? What were the consequences if he chooses her over his goal?
Alicia knew this was not only about his trauma and belief about love and desire. She could just feel it in her bones that there was more to it. No way that it was something simple and straightforward like holding onto his principles that he had decided on since he was young. She somehow felt that for Ezekiel, choosing her would perhaps turn him into someone no different from his father. Because choosing her means sacrificing something or someone else. Something or someone who was very important to him. She could just tell that there was a huge sacrifice and consequence if he decided to choose her.
And this was why she had held back and just hugged him tight after all his confessions. No matter how much she wanted him, she did not want him to sacrifice whatever it was needed for them to be together in that way. No… she would not let him sacrifice anything. This man… she just did not want him to tremble like that again. She did not want to make things hard for him anymore.
Right now, her goal had changed. No, she was no longer going to spend the last eight days of her extended life lusting for him and making him lose control so he would f*** her anymore. From now on, she just wanted to help him instead. She would help him achieve the goal that he had been aiming his entire life for.
He had mentioned that everyone was against it, even Alexander. That means right now, he must be fighting for that aim by himself all these times.
Ezekiel had always been that lone wolf, but Alicia could not even imagine how it felt like fighting all by yourself for so many years. She wanted to spend the last eight days of the life that he had given her supporting him wholeheartedly. And her heart was genuinely into it.
She thought that this decision of hers must be the reason why she kept on smiling. Because she truly wanted this. To help this man she had come to adore so much.
"Hmm… then I think I'll ask some really serious questions? Do you think you can handle that?" she tried to think of something. She had planned not to ask anything, but she remembered that those times when they were in a really serious conversation, it was then that they were not engaging in anything intimate. "I have a question that had been bugging me actually... I am not going to force you to answer it though. If you can't answer, just say 'next', how about that?"
He blinked once. Then he threw his head back and he did that to force his eyes off her tantalising mouth. It had been drawing him in like a black hole. "Okay. Go on before I... go on."
"You leaving… wasn't your actual goal, right?" the question finally came out and he stilled, clearly not expecting that question from Alicia.
That question seemed to do what Alicia was expecting because he then opened his eyes and stared at the sky, letting the rain that had now reduced to drizzles just fall on his face.
"You're right." he answered after a long silence.
"Can you tell me what the actual goal is and why is everyone against it?" she asked curiously.