Chapter 813 Something had changed [1/3]
Their gazes met and held for what seemed like a long while, until Alicia finally reached out and touched his face, caressing as gently as she could – this face which seem to get more and more dear to her as seconds passed.
"I'm so, so sorry…" she whispered out in a broken voice. Her silent tears kept rolling down her tears as her shoulders shook from the force of her sobs.
"Damn, no!" he caught her face and wiped her tears away with his thumb. "Don't apologize! I had no intentions to expose all that to..." he shook his head, almost quite flustered watching her crying so desolately as though her whole world had been cursed to the fires of hell. "I'm not blaming you or anything. This is…"
"I know…" Alicia flashed him a small but understanding smile as she quickly wiped away the tears that were still tracking down her cheeks. Then she wrapped her hands affectionately around his neck. "Please just let me hug you, Ezekiel…" she whispered before she burrowed herself in his arms, her face buried in the crook of his neck as she inhaled that masculine scent that was uniquely Ezekiel. Embracing him in a way like she just wanted to hold him like this forever.
Alicia understood now why she had always admired this man even way before when she still viewed him as her enemy. It was because they had this one similarity. The selflessness. No, she might not even be able to compare herself to him. This man was… she regretted calling him stone hearted statue so many times before. Because he was never one. He had the kind of heart that was so rare in this world. He was never the villain everyone had thought he was for so many years.
He had been the victim who endured all the horrors and consequences of someone else's action. Who could blame him for despising love and desire? Who could blame him? She could never do that because she too understood this feeling more than anyone else.
Her experiences may not hold a candle to the horrors he had gone through. But her experiences had made her understand the extent of his sufferings.
She did not say anything anymore and just embraced him with everything that she had.
All the words that left his mouth, kept echoing ever so gently in her mind. She did not know. She totally had no idea things were that way for him. At all.
Since the very first time they met, Alicia's first impression of him was that. Arrogant, rude, cold and stone-hearted. She never once thought that he had been trying his hardest to avoid her like the plague. She had never thought she would live to the day that she would hear him confess all that.
The fact that it was not intentional, because he thought she was asleep, did not matter to her at all.
Right now, her heart and soul were flooded with extremely intense emotions. All because of him and the things that he had revealed. She thought that this must be what people meant when they say 'they were so happy they could die'.
She had not expected her own heart to react like this. What she was feeling right now was something that mere words could not seem to describe.
And right now, she adored him more than ever. She wanted him even more and it was no longer just his body. She wanted his heart, his mind, spirit and entire being. His everything.
Time slowly ticked by. For the first time, Alicia felt his body truly relaxed against her. She had only felt him this relaxed when he was only truly asleep. And the feel of him finally loosening every shackle he had put on himself while awake made her heart swell with relief.
But soon, he broke the heart-warming and peaceful embrace and gathered her into his arms. And the way he carefully gathered her to him, it was as though he was handling a fragile and precious item. Alicia felt her heart overflow with so much warmth that she had never experienced before.
The intense emotions in his eyes had fully settled by now. But something had changed. He did not put that stoic mask of his back on anymore.
Silently, he carried her towards the back door. He grabbed an ancient lamp and brought it with them outside.
The rain drops fell on them both. It was cold but his hot body against her was warming her up. He was a more effective warmer than if she were to wrap herself with a blanket. Then he brought her to a spring several steps away from the wooden cabin.
Despite the rain, the water ran clear. Maybe because the rain was not that strong and also because the water was coming from under the large stone.
He stopped on top of a flat rock, where right next to it lies a small indentation of the stone that created a small lagoon. Alicia thought that it would be deep enough to soak half of their bodies if they jumped into it.
Slowly, he put her down, before grabbing her wrist and putting her hands around his neck to maintain their physical contact.
Then he bent over and reached for his trousers. Alicia quickly averted her gaze though she was unsure what he was trying to do. It was not because she was being shy or trying to act coy to tempt him further. She just did not want to spark another wildfire between them that might not be able to be stopped. She could still feel herself being incredibly weak. Her knees were actually trembling even as she just stood there and held onto him for balance. The last thing she wanted now was to pass out and collapse right here. She must never let that happen. Not now. She wanted to stay awake and stay with him. Even if he does not talk anymore for now, she would still want to keep feeling him, seeing him, holding him. Every moment she could spend with him now counts.