God of Cooking

Bright sunlight, fresh air, the beautiful sound of the wind, and flour floating like dust.

The unusually beautiful baking room was the place where Jack spent his final moments.

“Can I make bread again here?” Lisa muttered in a low voice.

It was Marco who responded to her words.

As if he could not fight back the tears, he opened his mouth, whimpering.

“You have to make it.”

“Every time I enter this place, I think I will think of my dad. I think all the words that dad said would come to my mind more clearly. So, I feel like I’ll be sadder.”

Marco saved his breath. He thought she would overcome her sorrows by all means because if she had something to do, she wasn’t the one who turned away from it. And she knew well what Jack wanted from her.

Tomorrow was Jack’s funeral. His body must be washed clean by the funeral director by now. When she thought about it, she felt heartbroken.

“Please take a break. You haven’t eaten anything all day. Would you like a simple oatmeal?”

“No, I’m fine. I feel like I will feel more nauseous if I eat.”

Ella cried herself to sleep all day long. In fact, it was Ella’s crying rather than Jack’s absence that bothered Lisa the most because it made her feel Jack’s death more vividly, and it was a peek into Ella’s reaction when she would also leave this world. Ella would cry a lot until the moment her tears dry up. Even after her tears dry up, Ella would be overwhelmed by sorrow when she could not even shed tears.

Lisa couldn’t watch her daughter going through it. Of course, she would not even be able to even watch her after she dies, but she couldn’t make Ella suffer like that.

“Marco, I have to survive by all means.”

“Yes, you will.”

“I’m not just saying it. I really have to survive!” Lisa muttered. “I can’t dare commit evil things like death.”

***

Jack was a Catholic. His funeral was supposed to be held in the cathedral, but that didn’t mean they didn’t do anything the day before. Those who could come to Lisa’s house had a short time to pray for her.

Among them was Rachel. Rachel grabbed her hands together and quietly raised for her. She didn’t know what she prayed for, and she didn’t try to express what was on her mind. She just prayed to God for her mixed feelings. Strangely enough, she didn’t shed tears. Maybe she still didn’t realize Jack’s death at all. Or maybe she had been preparing for Jack’s death a long time ago. While she was thinking about it, Lisa came up to her and handed her a loaf of bread. When she looked at Lisa with slightly wet eyes, Lisa opened her mouth with a bitter voice.

“This is the last bread my dad made. Try it.”

The bread didn’t look glamorous on the surface. Rachel slowly reached out and received the bread. She wasn’t hungry. Even if she had been hungry, she wouldn’t have felt it. But now this bread wasn’t meant to satisfy her hunger. It was intended for her to feel the last traces of Jack’s life in it, namely to look back on his life for the last time.

She reflected on Jack’s life while chewing the bread. The bread showed its soft skin when she chewed its rough skin first. She could feel the sweetness of the bread that seemed bland like his life. Chestnuts and honey-soaked through the bread-like melted butter. Each piece of the bread was showing what kind of life Jack lived and what kind of bread he was making.

“You’ve overcome your limit, Jack.”

“Really?”

“His bread was delicious all the time, but this is the best he has ever made. He always asked me if the dish he made needed to be so fancy, and in the end, he even overwhelmed that grandeur of the dish with mediocrity.”

Lisa smiled gently at Rachel’s words. No matter what, Jack valued Rachel’s opinion. In fact, he relied on and trusted Rachel the most after Daniel. Perhaps that was why she must have regretted her lost ten years in resentment.

“My dad will be happy to hear that.”

That night, many guests stopped by Lisa’s house. Several more of Jack’s friends visited, including Amelia and Fabio, Anderson and Janet, and Catherine in her arms.

And the next day came.

“Dad.”

Because of Lisa’s request, Jack was dressed in a cook suit, not a suit. Although it was not usual in this situation, she was convinced that the late Jack would like it more because she knew he would not like a formal suit, saying it didn’t suit him if he was alive.

Seeing his body neatly washed out and looking neater than him when he was alive, Lisa felt as if he would stand up right away and tell her to make breakfast. But there was no miracle like that. Lisa quietly grabbed Jack’s hands, which were cold.

“Ella,” Lisa called Ella in a quiet voice.

Ella didn’t see him while closing her eyes tightly. Lisa felt Ella might be too scared to look at his body, or she didn’t want to see Jack who was dead. She was afraid Ella might have felt hurt a lot. She slowly hugged Ella, but she didn’t say anything. She didn’t prod her daughter because she knew how hard it was to let go of someone she loved when she was not quite ready to do so.

How long did Ella wait? She eventually opened her eyes slowly, about to cry anytime.

“Did grandpa leave us?”

“Yeah, he went to a nice place where grandmother and his friends were.”

“Can’t I see him again?”

Perhaps Lisa could have said something nice to allay Ella’s sorrows, but she could not because she didn’t want to do it. She didn’t want to lie to her daughter by saying something that was not true just because Ella was still a child.

“Nope. So, take a look at your grandpa a lot now. You won’t see him after today.”

There was nothing kind or merciful in her words. Ella cried out with a sad expression then looked back at Jack, with her face reddish. When she looked at him who seemed to be in a deep sleep, she again cried, frowning. Then she soon began to touch her face.

Min-joon, Kaya, and Chloe arrived at the funeral when Ella kissed Jack’s forehead and hugged her face tightly. Overwhelmed by the heavy atmosphere, they kissed Jack’s cheek or held his hands and had a short conversation.

They were sad, but they could not express it because it was Lisa and Ella who was the saddest now. If they were sad, who would comfort them?

Leaving their grief behind, the funeral for him was held. While the priest’s prayer continued, Min-joon suddenly wondered whether Jack went to Heaven. If there was Heaven and Hell, it was obvious that he would not go to hell. Then would he be meeting Daniel by now? There was speculation that in Heaven they could get all the food just by thinking, but would it be like hell to Daniel and Jack in such a world? Maybe the bread they made would appear every time people think about it? Was there Heaven in the first place?

When he was lost in such childish thoughts, the priest’s prayer was over. Soon Jack’s body would be buried under the ground. It was probably the last time they would look at his face.

At that moment, Lisa stepped forward. She took some flour out of her pocket. She touched it with her hand then grabbed Jack’s hand. People watching her were embarrassed, but Lisa didn’t care. She said in a quiet voice, “You said you didn’t want to leave this world with your forearm left with only IV shot marks.”

She withdrew her hand. Jack’s hands and forearms were colored white, just like a chef who made bread a moment ago.

“I’ll make your wish come true.”

A funeral is a weird thing. It was definitely for somebody who was dead, but people there seem to be more interested in others than the dead man. Besides, the people left by the deceased would suffer more than the dead. That was the case with Lisa and Ella. Min-joon opened his mouth while watching Rachel who seemed completely devastated from the moment she got here until his funeral was over.

“Are you okay?”

“Uh?

“You look really bad.”

“How can I look good in this situation?” said Rachel, smiling bitterly.

She thought she always knew that death wasn’t that far away, but actually, she didn’t realize it.

If she had realized it, she would not have felt so unrealistic about Jack’s death like now.

“But I won’t be shaken.”

Daniel’s death shocked her enough to make her disappear for ten years. She couldn’t repeat the stupid thing again because Daniel wasn’t the only one around her.

After they buried his coffin under the ground, Lisa and Ella could not throw the soil on it for a long time. But no one prodded them.

Rachel muttered in a low voice, “He would have no regrets anymore.”

“Regrets?”

“I ate the last bread that Jack made,” she said with a smileless expression. “He overcame his limit. It was the best of his bread I had ever eaten. It was the best I had ever eaten in the world, even though it’s not freshly made.”

“You can make the same bread, too.”

“Me?”

“You just said Jack overcame his limit. It’s not the limit because you can’t overcome it, but it’s the limit because you think you can’t. And the moment you overcome it, you realize that it wasn’t really a big deal.”

“Gosh, you are screwing with my mind.”

“Well, I’m also good at making my words look serious.”

When he said that, Rachel turned to him quietly.