Chapter 838 You Are The Secret Which Blooms In My Heart Part 5
Chapter 838 You Are The Secret Which Blooms In My Heart Part 5
SUMIRE
Would it be any different if the one she was drinking from was Hino? If it was Hino, would she be able to control herself? Then again, she can't see Hino allowing her to drink from his neck. Maybe that was what the issue was. Maybe it's because she keeps drinking from Toh's neck, and that's why her thoughts are going out of control.
Toh caressed her cheeks. "You're pretty." He suddenly said.
"I-what-"
She wasn't expecting this reaction- Sumire slumped her face on his shoulder hoping to hide her expression, only to have Toh's hands on her back. No, that's not what the issue was.
From the moment they started living together. She knew that, it would be difficult considering the relationship they had before.
"Is this comfortable for you?"
Hearing those words Sumire bit her lip. Indeed, it did feel comfortable. But, that's what the issue was. There must be something wrong with her head, or her morals. If she thinks it's comforting having another man's hands on her back.
"Toh, is there something wrong with me?"
Toh paused and shook his head. "If you're talking about us." He trailed off. "-it's normal for you to feel comfortable around me."
"But, we are not dating anymore."
"That may be true, but that comfort doesn't just vanish. I know for a fact that you're still more comfortable speaking with Mamoru over any other person."
That's true.
"Moreover, I think you should stop being so overly cautious. With Terashima abroad, isn't your relationship on a break?"
Sumire blinked hearing those words. "Oh."
Yuhi never said that.
But, maybe it is like that?
"Don't take my word for it, but that's my take on this. Especially since he will be gone for half a year."
Yuhi-san did say he wouldn't blame Hino for pursuing her.
"If your comfortable when I did that. We can try exploring a bit."
"Explore?" Sumire raised her head.
Toh kissed her forehead. "Yes, explore. Your wants and needs."
Her wants and needs. Right, she does have those. But, with Toh? The thought embarrassed her more than anything.
.....
Sumire decides to relay this conversation onto Hino, and Siena who was over for lunch. She wants to say she is wise enough to decide on her own. However, she isn't.
Hino was the first to speak up.
"Just know that regardless, Yuhi will not be doing the same."
Sumire felt a pang of guilt in her chest hearing Hino's reply. Of course, even without him saying anything she knew that.
"Hey, hey don't make her feel bad!" Siena exclaimed.
"I'm not trying to." Hino exhaled deeply. "It's true that Yuhi did say he wouldn't stop you from finding someone else, if it came to that."
Sumire looked at him horrified. When it was a theory, she could still feel bad. But having it confirmed like this is painful.
"Before you get upset, Yuhi said that for your sake. He knows you have many unresolved relationships, and how when your relationship started. He knew you were still in love with Tsueno. Yuhi feels that you weren't given much time to think about what you wanted."
"That's not true." Sumire interjected. "I chose Yuhi, because I wanted to be with him."
Hino nodded. "He understands that too. But, you didn't think about the others then did you? You didn't think about the possibility of not using Sano as a tool, or Mashima returning and wanting to carry on where you two left off. Or even about Tsueno being alive."
Sumire clenched her fist. She knew she couldn't deny those words.
"Not to mention Kusaji and his persistence and even your fiance." Hino shakes his head. "You didn't consider them. But now they are actively in your life again. Yuhi wants to know for sure that you'll still pick him, given that everyone has the same chance to be with you now."
"So, it's a test?"
"It's cruel to put it that way."
"It's already cruel for him to do this!" Sumire exclaimed.
She was furious. But she was more angry at herself then Yuhi for not noticing. For having Toh tell her, and Hino explain it. She already knew, she felt that there was something wrong whenever they talked on the phone.
It felt like there was something he couldn't say, or couldn't ask about.
Siena asks for Hino to leave the two alone and he walked away. Her friend turned to her with a smile.
"Your love life is as interesting as ever."
"There is nothing funny about this." Sumire sighed.
"Look on the bright side, now you get your pick."
Sumire shakes her head. "I need to talk to Yuhi. This is wrong, we should discuss this properly."
"But didn't you say Terashima has either been fast asleep, or not there when you called?"
Sumire nodded recalling what Jun-kun told her. "Jun-kun keeps me updated. He isn't giving me many details. But, I think Yuhi must be doing some type of investigation that he doesn't want me knowing about."
"You believe him?"
"I do." Sumire paused. "-with the other guys there. Yuhi-san won't do anything foolish. There have been attempts of other women trying to cling to him at parties. But Takeyama has chased all of them away and really even without all of this. I know he can handle himself."
"So you're not worried."
"Definitely not. But I'd really like to discuss things with him."
"Then, let me tell you why I think he is doing that." Siena paused. "Sumire, you already chose Mashima over Terashima before. You can't blame Terashima for doing this, even if it is weird. He just wants to make sure everyone gets an equal chance. It probably pains him more than anything, but he is still willing to do so to give you a choice."
".."
"He is a good guy, I'm actually surprised. I didn't get that impression from him when he was in Star Town."
Of course not. Yuhi-san is just like her, always playing the bad guy, always acting like the villain. It's normal that others fell for his act.
"Sumire." Siena said softly. "I want you to understand that your the one who is in charge of your own heart. No matter what anyone else says. It is up to you to decide who you are in love with."
'-and the one I love. The one I have always loved is Yuhi.' Even when she was dating other guys, her thoughts would always lead her back to Yuhi.
"Thank you for being here for me."
Siena laughed. "Asuka-chan isn't the best at giving romance advice."
"She does her best, but I know the topic is uncomfortable for her." Sumire trailed off and picked up her guitar. "Enough of that, let's practice."
Siena nodded happily.
Toh mentioned that she has changed, but the reality is. Nothing has changed at all. Whenever she gets the chance, she uses music to run away instead of confronting her situation.
*Unedited*