Chapter 166 - What Can He Do For Her?
His eyes widened when he heard those words from her. It seems like there is more to this than the rumors he heard on the net.
"From now on, I will continue treading on this dangerous line. I will continue getting involved. I may be the center to all of this. So I have to remain strong if I break down and falter even once people will take advantage of that."
"It's okay for you to break down, especially in the face of malicious rumors intending to break you down."
Sumire shook her head, and weak laughter escaped her lips. "I have to stay strong."
"But Sumire---"
"Please let me be stubborn. Yuhi-san, I genuinely appreciate your efforts, but this is the type of person I am. Ever since I was a child, negativity surrounded me. I was a problematic child. But more importantly, I noticed it. There is something wrong with me. I don't understand. I don't understand how humans think. Ah, this feeling is familiar, isn't it? No matter how much Yozo tried, he still couldn't understand humanity, and he couldn't find anybody who understood him."
"Sumire-" His sentence fell short when she slumped her head on his chest.
"So what Im trying to get here is that if I become a monster Yuhi-san, you can abandon me. I am already used to people leaving me, so it will not make a difference if you leave me too. At the end of the day, what you see is a lie. I don't know what you think of me, but I never saw myself as a good person. This wretched and vile existence is me. I am rotten to the core."
He didn't realize it was this bad before. Self-loathing? She just needs a bit of love to heal? No, that won't do. It won't do at all. What Sumire needs right now, perhaps he cannot give it to her because he loves her too much.
Sumire lifted her head and walked over to the piano. Her fingers lingered on the keys for a moment before she sat down on the stool. Yuhi continued to watch her expression, but he could not understand what she thought.
The current Sumire is-- his eyes widened when he hears the melody that surrounded the room. What song is this? Yuhi did not recognize the melody. It was not any of her songs or any of his. Nor was it a famous song. But he can feel it, her sadness and pain. All of it is mixing into one.
What can he do for her? Sometimes Yuhi felt he wasn't doing anything to help her properly. She is in so much pain, and yet all he can do is stand by and watch.
Sumire rested her head in his shoulders, and Yuhi paused. "You're messing with me too much."
Soft laughter escaped her lips. "It is rare for me to get the upper hand."
He wanted to ask her more about what she just said. But even if he asked, Yuhi understood that the topic is over now. She won't say any more than this. He parted her hair with his hands affectionately, and she laughed more.
"I feel like your treasuring me too much. Yuhi-san should know how many people I messed with to get to where I am now."
"Your point is?"
"You're allowing a woman like me to take advantage of you. Well, I guess geniuses aren't geniuses when it comes to love."
"Were you this hard to handle when you were dating Mamoru?"
Sumire blinked. "Well, I suppose so.."
"You should have said no," Yuhi mumbled. "I would like to be the one who sees you like this." Even though she is messing with him, at least it is him and not some other guy.
"What a strange fetish...Say," Sumire leaned closer. "Yuhi-san, how do you do it?"
"Huh?"
"You're as bad as me, but everybody thinks your a good guy."
At that comment, his eyes twitched, annoyed. "You keep insulting me since we met again. But did I do something bad to you?" Indeed he was not a good person, but does she have to keep repeating it?
"Well, if I don't convince myself that you're a bad person when other girls flock to you, I won't be able to push them away."
What sort of strange logic is that? Yuhi sighed and flicked her forehead. "Should I say that back at you? How is Sano lately?"
Sumire rolled her eyes. "That person is quite recently."
Quiet Sano?
"Other than a few text messages, he does not come onto me as much as before."
Yuhi raised his eyebrows at that comment. Now that is suspicious.
Sumire leaned forward. "So, the only problem is you talking to other girls."
"I will behave," Yuhi mumbled. "But could you reward me?"
She lightly kissed him. "Okay, I will." Sumire remained close to him for a moment before she pulled her bag out. "I know it is early, but why don't we eat something."
Yuhi nodded.
Has he become soft? He probably has. When he first heard that she was coming here, Yuhi did not think that she would bother him. He did not think she would give him the time of day. After all, she rejected him so strongly the last time they met.
"Say, why did you change your mind?" Yuhi decided to just ask her.
"Change my mind?"
"You said that time that you wouldn't talk to me anymore."
Sumire paused and nodded. "That's right. I said something like that, didn't I?" She trailed off. "But you know how I was Yuhi-san. After the accident I isolated myself. I felt the most alone and pain during that time. However, the letters you sent me through those books saved me. I thought if it was you, then maybe I could return to being normal."
"Normal?"
"Mm, not a mess of emotions nor a crazy woman self-harming, even if I dieIt'sts not like I will see him again."
Yuhi could no longer take it and pulled her into his arms. "Tell me what you want me to do, Sumire, please." His voice wavered. "I can't see you act this way. Your hurt and in so much pain, but what can I do for you?"
What can he do, so she smiles again? So she stops saying such things?