Chapter 2018: Skirting the Edge
Chapter 2018: Skirting the Edge
After returning to the cottage, Vahn apologized for being late before spending the rest of the day as usual. As for Beryl, he decided to gift it to Jaina, as, from the perspective of everyone else, it was simply regarded as a Pokemon. They had already grown used to such creatures, so, while a part of him was tempted to keep the adorable creature for himself, Vahn ultimately allowed the Princess to look after it.
Fortunately, none of the girls, sans Fenrir, Mikoto, and, to a lesser extent, Blossom seemed to suspect there was anything wrong with him. It wasn't unusual for him to return calm and relaxed after long periods of meditation. Rather, by virtue of the fact he had spent several hours meditating, it would have been stranger for him to come back tense and unfocused. This allowed Vahn to pass the rest of the day without anyone questioning whether or not anything was wrong, a question he wasn't quite sure how to answer...
---several hours prior---
Though he wasn't quite sure what had changed, Vahn could tell that 'something' had happened. His senses seemed sharper than ever before, and, though it wasn't to the extent he had achieved within the illusion, his domain was several times larger than before. He could also feel something he could only describe as the 'will of the land', a vague awareness that could be likened to his ability to sense emotions, just from 'everything'.
As strange as it might sound, Vahn felt as though he could now determine the 'purpose' of even the most minute particles of Shinsu. He could sense whether or not something was out of place, and, if he focused his senses, it was like a faint, nearly inaudible, voice recounting the 'history' of whatever he was looking at. This applied to the moss beneath him, and, though it was difficult to imagine, he could even focus his intent on individual particles and recount their journey from the moment they departed their parent stars, eager to experience something more...
Feeling a soft yet slightly dry sensation against his cheek, Vahn returned to his senses to find that a rainbow-hued mist had gathered around his outstretched hand. Even stranger was the fact that this mist was comprised of countless individual particles, a massive congregation of constituent matter that, against all rhyme and reason, coexisted alongside other elementary particles without blending together or interfering with each other in the slightest. Instead, it was almost like they were waiting for him to decide what their purpose would be...
As a God of Creation, Vahn actually had a fair amount of experience with pulling energy from the void to create things that simply didn't exist before. His [Eyes of Truth] also allowed him to tap into the Law of Oblivion, one of the fundamental concepts that, presumably, gave form and function to everything within the Records.
Despite these two things, Vahn had never experienced anything quite like the phenomenon he was currently observing. It was like everything in existence possessed a form of consciousness, but, like every other being within the Records, they were bound to a specific fate that had been determined from the very moment of their creation. Every single particle was exactly where it was supposed to be at the exact moment it was supposed to be there, and, thanks to the existence of Laws touched upon by Quantum Theory, even particles that had been displaced vast distances would simply snap back to their intended position, fulfilling the purpose they had been assigned.
Under normal circumstances, it was impossible to change the 'purpose' that had been assigned to individuals particles, as, much like everything else in the Records, their past, present, and future had already been determined. It was only when an 'outside force' acted upon them that their fate could be changed, and, as a result, even elementary particles could eventually grow to become something 'more'...something without limits...
As that thought crossed his mind, Vahn realized that the nearly indiscernible voice within his mind was none other than the Mantra of Eternity. It turned out that the sounds he had been hearing all this time were, quite literally, the voice of all things. It was as if the world was telling him its story, and, as a result of their desire to be heard, innumerable voices had been overlapping in such a way that it was impossible to make out what was being said. This was why he always felt at one with the world while he was meditating, and, as he got better at listening, the world around him shifted, not in response to his will, but because it was seeking 'greater purpose' by interacting with the energy emanating from his body...
Now that he could hear its voice, the world, like an insatiably curious child, was waiting for him, not to tell it what to do, but to give it permission to act. In this manner, it wasn't all that dissimilar from his past self, as, much like the naive young boy he had been at the start of his journey, it didn't care where it ended up, only that it could choose what to do from there...
While it might seem nonsensical to attribute such human sentiments to particles without any Ego of their own, Vahn had literally sired children with conceptual beings, so, while he couldn't help feeling a little perturbed, that didn't stop him from saying, "Go...be free..." in recognition of the yearning he could sense from the world around him. In response, the rainbow-hued mist immediately vanished, and, perhaps as a result of his statement's ambiguity, so too did a large portion of the environment.
With the exception of some organic matter, most of the rocks, minerals, and metals within earshot of Vahn's statement had simply vanished into thin air. This produced a vacuum in his surroundings, but, thanks to his domain, Vahn was able to prevent an implosion by willfully manipulating the flow of Shinsu until the atmospheric pressure had returned to normal. Then, with Beryl perched upon his shoulder, tail wrapped around his neck for stability, Vahn corrected his posture and asked, "Is there something you want to tell me...?" towards no one in particular.
Understanding he was addressing her, Sis, sounding uncharacteristically tired, meekly replied, (*You know I would never harm you...please don't ask me to explain...I...I...*)
Shaking his head, a relaxed smile developed across Vahn's face as he sincerely stated, "I trust you. If it were something I needed to know, I have no doubt you would inform me. Your unwillingness tells me this is something related to The Path...something I'm either unprepared to learn or incapable of comprehending at my current level..."
Though he had his suspicions, Vahn didn't directly ask Sis to confirm any of them. Instead, he let his words trail off for a moment before proceeding to add, "I will become stronger...strong enough that you won't have to worry about me...strong enough to reclaim what's mine..."
As those final few words left his lips, Vahn couldn't help but adopt an even bigger smile, right hand slowly clenching into a fist as he punctuated his previous declaration with a heartfelt, "Thanks...even if it was only for a short while...seeing everyone, even as illusions, has lifted a heavy weight from my shoulders...I know you can feel it, but, even so, I want you to know how grateful I am. Thus, from the bottom of my heart...thanks for always looking out for me, Sis...I love you..."
---back to the present---
While it had been quite some time since he required sleep, Vahn found himself in a state where he couldn't rest even if he wanted to. He had always been a curious fellow, so, now that he could hear the voice of all things, it was difficult to simply ignore.
When he wasn't focusing on anything, Vahn could now hear a chorus of countless whispers in the back of his mind. These weren't coming from the world around him, however, but from within his own body. After all, while he was comprised of Source Energy, his body still emulated the form and function of the creatures he presented himself as. He still had blood flowing through his veins, and, though they would dissipate the moment they were cast from his body, there were trillions of cells making up his physical vessel.
Compared to the voices he heard from his surroundings, the chorus of voices emanating from his own cells were nigh-impossible to drone out. After all, they had been given purpose by him, so, like children eager to please their father, they worked excitedly to fulfill the duty that had been assigned to them. It was like his body had become a macrocosm, and, should he so desire, Vahn imagined he could actually grant his cells sapience, much like the anthropomorphic microorganisms found in the anime 'Cells at Work'.
Since there were literal metaverses existing within his Internalized Realm, it wasn't all that difficult to imagine converting his body into a Realm of its own. This would undoubtedly make the voices even louder, but, more importantly, there was a chance he could create Template cells to greatly increase his understanding of Source Energy. After all, every cell in his body was comprised of the enigmatic energy, so, by virtue of simply doing their job, his understanding would increase exponentially. They would also be Tier 5 entities, so, if push came to shove, they could provide support in combat using the various Innates he assigned them.
Imagining a literal army of trillions emerging from within him, a wry smile developed across Vahn's face as he realized the way he viewed himself was beginning to change. In essence, he was closer to something like Azathoth than a simple True Dragon. If he hadn't become accustomed to his human form, he could even give Gluttony a run for his money in regards to eldritch appearances. Inversely, he could exist without form entirely, wandering the cosmos as little more than a mass of intent that, depending on the circumstances, could inhabit the vessel of another.
Though he would like to say he would never do such a thing, Vahn knew well the kind of monster he could become if he didn't care about his methods. Possession, encroachment, and absorption were surprisingly common themes in fiction, and, thanks to the experiences he had received from Rimuru, he had a substantial amount of experience with absorbing the traits of other creatures. He had also willfully subsumed Gaia prior to his departure from the Nasuverse, so, while he had never acted with malicious intent, he couldn't deny that he had already skirted the boundary separating him and his more monstrous aspects.
Fortunately, while many would attempt to deny him his humanity, Vahn was confident he had not deviated too far from the path of his kin. He had simply expanded upon the definition, and, thanks to his ability to emulate the traits of other organisms, he had become something 'more' than what most humans could aspire to. That didn't mean others couldn't reach the same point, however, so, at least for the time being, Vahn came to the conclusion there was no meaning in worrying about such things. The only things that truly mattered were that he was exactly who he wanted to be, and, more importantly, he was well on his way to reaching the place he 'needed' to be...
As that thought crossed his mind, so too did the memories he had accumulated within the illusion created by Sis. There was a fair chance she had something to do with this, but, rather than fretting over the particulars, a smile spread across Vahn's face as his consciousness began to gradually fade away. Then, after lying awake for the better part of six hours, he was finally able to get some sleep...
(A/N: Alternate Titles: 'Awash in an endless sea of voices...','Some things are important to say out loud...','Slumbering God...')