Book 43 - Chapter 13 – Commitment of Love
Unexpectedly the sound of zheng [guzheng/long zither] coming out from the hall could be this moving. There was no extraneous ornament, just like a beautiful woman with natural beauty shedding the splendid clothes, all the more lucid and elegant, free from vulgarity.
Originally Kou Zhong was irritable and his heart was covered in vulgar dust, but being washed by the sound of the zheng, unexpectedly, without him being aware of it, it was elevated to forgetting-worry-without-anxiety realm; he even nearly forgot about Xu Ziling. He mused that musical skill that was trained to such level, perhaps in all the world, only the sound of Shi Qingxuan’s xiao could be compared to it.
He left the garden path and crossed the flowerbed, to come to the square window at the side of the hall, from which he looked inside, only to see Shang Xiufang, alone, sitting on a woven mat in the middle of the hall, stroking the zheng with full attention, playing a simple, yet incomparably rich – notes, completely unaware that Kou Zhong was feasting on her elegant countenance, to be her intimate friend.
Frankly speaking, until today, music still has not even entered a single aperture of his, Kou Zhong’s head [idiom]; in this aspect, his spiritual nature and interest were somewhat inferior to Xu Ziling’s. However, when he regarded the zheng and Shang beauty as an integral whole, immediately his soul melted, just like drinking the outstanding, the richest and the most mellow Xiangshui rice wine, there was an incomparably cheerful lack of inhibition [from drinking] and light and airy feeling [again, after a few drinks].
In this time full of war, hatred, killing, no more happy place and harmony in the world, this beauty who loathed conflicts – was like a stream of clear and pure spring in a seemingly irresolute drought and famine in the desert, transcending the vile environment, leisurely and contentedly pursuing her artistic ideals, to use her music to touch countless people’s withered heart and tortured spirit.
For the first time, a feeling of inferiority, that he could not match her – welled up in Kou Zhong’s heart.
Song Yuzhi was also a peace-loving person. The reason why she would rather violate her heart to reject Kou Zhong’s pursuit was because she was afraid Song Que and Kou Zhong would join hands to strive over the world, and thus would bring disaster to the people of Lingnan.
Ay! It’s not that I prefer war at all, but I want to use war to unify the world and achieve peace.
The problem was Li Shimin. There were a lot of people who saw him as the bright lord who would unify the world, but in the end he was just an old courtier of the Great Sui; furthermore, he was not even the heir that Li Yuan appointed. If in the future the one becoming the emperor was Li Jiancheng, wouldn’t it be better if Kou Zhong was in charge of his own house [idiom]?
Kou Zhong leaped through the window to enter, he slowly moved and sat down behind Shang Xiufang.
Shang Xiufang’s pair of hands played a series of clear notes, and then suddenly stopped. Sighing lightly, she said, “Finally Shaoshuai comes!”
Kou Zhong sensed that in the tone of her voice, there was some kind of impression that she regarded him as an outsider, a stranger; sighing inwardly, he refrained himself from saying anything to tease her. Smiling wryly, he said, “If I am not dead, naturally I will come to listen to Xiufang’s admonishment.”
Shang Xiufang turned her tender body around, her lucid and elegant, free from vulgarity, exceptional jade countenance appeared to have hidden bitterness, secret grudge; her pretty eyebrows lightly knitted, she sighed again and said, “Shaoshuai’s goal in life, other than defeating the enemy, is there anything else?”
Kou Zhong was slightly startled; with a flash of realization, he said, “Turns out in Xiufang’s eyes, I am merely a man who likes to fight. What else can I say?”
Shang Xiufang stared fixedly at him. Shaking her head, she said, “Only last night I started to have that opinion toward Shaoshuai, before, the impression toward Shaoshuai in Xiufang’s heart was not like that at all.”
Kou Zhong was shaken inwardly; he secretly wondered whether she really fell in love with Liexia, hence she changed her opinion on him; immediately a feeling of indignant sense of loss welled up in his heart, but he quickly threw the upsetting mood out of his mind. ‘It’s finished!’ he mused inwardly; due to his relationship with Song Yuzhi, he already lost the qualifications to pursue this beauty. Since she had a change of affection, shift of love, he had no choice but to seize this opportunity to withdraw and retreat.
The problem was: if she really fell in love with Liexia, he was certain that there would not be any good outcome, and how could he allow such thing to happen to her?
The contradiction in Kou Zhong’s heart made him nearly want to cry, ‘Help!’ Left with no other choice, he said, “Xiaodi has never changed; all along I do not have the freedom to act independently but to play the role of Kou Zhong. Why did Xiufang see Xiaodi as a person who always fight and kill, who battle others until you die, I live?”
Rolling her eyes at him, she acted as if she was saying, ‘fancy that you dare to ask me that question’. She spoke indifferently, “Anything that you, Shaoshuai don’t want to do, who’d dare to force you or provoke you to do it?”
Shaking his head, Kou Zhong said, “Xiufang’s remark is very novel. I never thought about it like that. In that case, I ought to be the person who goes everywhere stirring up problems, the chief offender that causes the whole country in rebellion.”
‘Pfft!’ Shang Xiufang broke into tender giggle, like a fresh flower blooming. When she noticed that Kou Zhong was staring blankly, she cast him another sidelong thousand-tender-a-hundred-charms glance, and said, “Shaoshuai is angry! All right! I will say something that you’d like to hear. If Shaoshuai is willing to give up striving over the world, Xiufang is ready to always keep you company by the lord’s side, to pluck the zheng and sing you a song to relieve your boredom.”
Kou Zhong’s tiger-body was severely shaken; he stared in disbelieve at this remarkably beautiful woman capable of causing the downfall of a city or state, a woman with both beauty and skill. In that moment, even Song Yuzhi was forgotten.
Shang Xiufang cast him a glance; her eyes, with hidden bitterness, secret grudges, seemed to say, ‘What are you looking at? You, this big idiot!’ And then she hung her cicada head down, in that kind of extremely bashful, touching little girl’s attitude, which could melt even a man with the heart of stone and move him to pity.
If one could stay the night and could live with her, enjoying the genuine music of the qin and the se [two string instruments that play in perfect harmony; fig. marital harmony], how could there be anything in the world more satisfying than this wonderful thing?
It’s a pity …
Ay!
It’s a pity that he has been caught in the net of the world [lit. dust]. The Shaoshuai Army, which he single-handedly created, was waiting for him to come back, to lead them to partake in the struggle to unify the world. And then there was Song Que’s expectation of him, as well as other personal entanglements, which even if he wanted to count, he was simply unable to count. How could he say that he was going to withdraw and simply withdraw? Not to mention there was also Song Yuzhi.
Kou Zhong sighed inwardly. Smiling bitterly, he said, “I wonder if Xiufang is aware that I simply am unable to accomplish that, hence you say those things to tease me?”
Shang Xiufang’s tender body trembled lightly, she met his gaze. The tone of her voice exceptionally tranquil, she spoke softly, “Xiufang was wrong. Just consider Xiufang never said those things. Since I was little, Xiufang already set up my aspiration, to exhaust the time and energy in all my life to meticulously study music and theater with my heart and soul, so that I no longer have the leisure to pay attention to other things.”
Kou Zhong was able to catch the implicit resentment within her words, yet he simply was unable to comfort her and offer explanation to her. Feeling uncomfortable to the extreme point, he had no choice but to change the subject by asking, “The Tujue main forces are coming, Xiufang has always disliked the war, why didn’t you leave this trouble spot at the earliest possible time in order to avoid being drawn into the pitiless vortex of the war?”
Shang Xiufang responded indifferently, “You practically do not understand me. Shaoshuai please feel free to mind your own business, all right? Xiufang has my own viewpoint.”
Sighing bitterly in his heart, Kou Zhong said, “Although Xieli is not a good person, how could Bai Ziting be any better? I only give thought to Xiufang. Ay! Toward Xiufang, I …”
Shang Xiufang cut him off; she spoke with a smile, “Shaoshuai ought to know that just because someone says so, doesn’t mean it’s true [lit. you can’t rely on a verbal agreement (idiom)]? Pleasant words, Xiufang has already heard and loathed enough. Oh, Kou Zhong! Do you know what Xiufang admires about you?”
Kou Zhong’s old face blushed, he said, “Before, there might be some good points, but now it ought to be completely obliterated, with only vile impression remaining.”
Shang Xiufang shook her head in displeasure, she said, “Shaoshuai is wrong! Xiufang still admires you so much, because you are a hundred-percent idiot, a jerk, and a big muddled-egg.”
Hearing that, Kou Zhong’s stared blankly with mouth agape. Although ‘idiot, jerk, and big muddled-egg’ were cuss words, but being spat out of her fragrant lips, spoken in her touching voice, it sounded full of affection, captivating to the extreme point.
Shang Xiufang turned her tender body around, both hands lightly caressed the zheng, she produced a series of clear notes. As if nothing had happened, she spoke unhurriedly, “Never mind! I won’t take any more of Shaoshuai’s time, go do your big things!”
Kou Zhong’s scalp went numb, he had no room to advance or to retreat, he lacked the power to parry.
Shang Xiufang pulled back her jade hands stroking the zheng, she sat quietly in front of the zheng; tender and soft as water, she said, “Shaoshuai has a lot of free time?”
Unable to control himself, Kou Zhong stretched out his hand to stroke Shang Xiufang’s fragrant shoulder, feeling her touching flesh and blood. Leaning over so that his face was close to the back of her elegant-as-the-swan’s fragrant neck, he spoke in distress, “Xiufang! I am in so much pain.”
Shang Xiufang remained absolutely still, but she did not reject his offense either; she spoke softly, “Xiufang does not have an easier time than Shaoshuai.”
Kou Zhong took a deep breath to fill his lungs with the fragrance from her hair, her body, but his heart was dripping blood. Suddenly he sat his tiger-body straight and released his hands; slowly, word by word, he said, “I want to present a small gift to Xiufang, to repay the special favor Xiufang is showing me, Kou Zhong, which Kou Zhong will never forget.”
Shang Xiufang’s jade countenance remained tranquil, a hint of pained smile escaped from the corner of her mouth, she shook her head and said, “Forget it! Shaoshuai, please!”
Losing his rationality, Kou Zhong spoke emotionally, “Xiufang, how could you drive me away like this?”
Shang Xiufang turned her pretty face around, she stared at him for half a day, before speaking softly, “Is Xiufang driving you away? How could Xiufang be willing to part with you?”
And then she looked ahead, her beautiful eyes rippling with extraordinary splendor, as if she was falling into the past, where her soul was broken, her spirit wounded, she said, “The first time I know Shaoshuai was at Wang Shichong’s mansion in Luoyang. Shaoshuai is different from other people, you have the frank, straightforward character that they did not have; furthermore, it was as if there is no difficulty under the heavens that can stump you. You see, my vision is straightforward, there is nothing to hide, and it is still that way until now. Xiufang already said everything I have to say!”
Kou Zhong was speechless like a foolish-headed bird, with intense pain in his heart as if it was wrung through the mill.
Shang Xiufang looked back again. Pursing her lips, she said with a laugh, “What gift do you want to give Xiufang? Why don’t you tell me?”
Although the contradiction in his heart was so painful that he felt like killing himself, he still could not help toppling over by her many-colors-many-postures flirtatious expressions; he said, “If I can resolve this conflict in Longquan, Xiufang may be willing to kindly accept, while also postpone your judgment to sentence Xiaodi with supreme penalty.”
The colored light in Shang Xiufang’s pretty eyes flared out greatly, it was charming to the extreme point, she blissfully said, “Shaoshuai coaxing words are really formidable; please don’t lie to me, how are you going to accomplish that?”
Kou Zhong’s heart calmed down a little bit, but he secretly scolded himself for his offense. The problem was that even if he must sacrifice his life, he simply must not let Shang Xiufang be grieved and broken-hearted. Sighing, he said, “It surely is more difficult than ascending the heavens, but definitely not impossible. People say that to cause a downfall of a city or state, one only needs a smile of a beautiful woman. I have no choice but to go from the opposite direction to save the innocent people of Longquan, so that Xiufang could expound immortal beauty and wonderful music in peaceful and happy environment.”
And then he leaned his big head over and tenderly planted a kiss on her creamy, tender and lovely, fragrant cheek. He laughed aloud and said, “Just consider Xiufang is giving Xiaodi a reward and encouragement!”
Shang Xiufang cast him a sidelong glance and then shyly hung her head down,
Kou Zhong rose up to his full height, all sorts of feelings welled up in his heart. Before his eyes, this was clearly his beloved jade person [a beautiful person (term of endearment)], yet for various reasons, he could not put everything aside to make her blessed and happy.
Xu Ziling was right, he basically must not see Shang Xiufang, but if time could be reversed and things could be repeated, he still could not help but seeing her, to get close to her.
The situation before his eyes was indeed too touching.
Kou Zhong turned around and left, straight toward the exit.
Shang Xiufang’s voice, like a cool breeze, brushed over from behind, saying, “Shaoshuai, when are you going to comeback to see Xiufang?”
Kou Zhong replied, “As long as I am free, I will come; even if I have to charge in by crossing five passes and slaying six generals [idiom], I want to see Xiufang before I let the matter drop. Ay! It’s another struggle! I’m sure Xiufang does not like to hear it, but it’s the truth, and I am not even exaggerating; I hope Xiufang will forgive me.”
Finished speaking, he stepped out in big strides.
Coming to the garden in front of the hall, Kesubie went over to meet him and said, “Da Wang is waiting respectfully for Shaoshuai’s good-self.”
Reluctant to part, Kou Zhong cast another glance backward, took a deep breath, and said, “Please lead the way!”
Kesubie turned around and led the way.
Kou Zhong looked up at the clear sky above, thinking about Xu Ziling, whose whereabouts was unknown, about Yin Xianhe, whose life and death could not be predicted, and the Tujue main forces, which were pressing down on the border, and his own commitment to curry favor from the beauty.
Sighing inwardly, he took the step to march forward.