Crazy Detective

“Zhaoooo Yu!” In the midst of the tranquil jungle came Miao Ying’s deafening scream. “Are you brainless or what?! Didn’t I tell you to bring along two tents? What… is this?!”

Before setting off, Miao Ying clearly saw Zhao Yu carrying two bags, thinking that he had surely brought along a tent in each bag, as they’d previously agreed upon. It was unimaginable to see that there was now only one tent in one bag, while another bag contained only unnecessary stuff.

“Well…” Zhao Yu tried to explain. “This tent is the latest model from the outdoor equipment store. It is fully automatic, and is a four to five men tent. Moreover, it is more energy efficient and practical to bring lightweight equipment with us, for such a long journey. Isn’t it?”

“Then, what about the sleeping bag? Why is there only one sleeping bag?! And what about the moisture-proof mat?! Where is that?!”

As Miao Ying was scolding him, she pulled open another bag, revealing cans of beer and tons of snacks.

“What?! This…” The sight made Miao Ying feel quite cross. “Zhao Yu! Why did you bring all these things? Master Zhao, don’t tell me you even brought peanuts? Tell me, what it is that you intend to do with so many cans of beer? Do you intend to setup a pop-up store in the middle of the jungle?”

“Well… Well… Well…” Zhao Yu explained unhurriedly. “Our journey is long and tiring. Drinking some spirits can relieve fatigue.”

“I surrender! What a useless jerk you are!” Miao Ying scolded him, while she continued to ransack the items. “We are here to investigate the case, yet you did not even bring along a flashlight, ropes, or a lighter. Goodness gracious me, what… is this?!”

Miao Ying found several big boxes of condoms amid Zhao Yu’s loot, as well.

“This… This is a misunderstanding!” Zhao Yu’s face flushed red with embarrassment. “I am an honest man, don’t misunderstand. I have seen it on the television that this specific brand is made of a strong material, and can be used to hold water, or bind items together.”

“Bind things? Like what?! You must be harboring some evil intentions.” Miao Ying boiled with anger. “Fortunately, I did not fully trust in you, Master Zhao, at least in the wilderness. Or else, we would be left with nothing to eat!”

Miao Ying walked away to skillfully setup the one and only tent.

“Uh… Captain Miao… Hear me out…” Zhao Yu tried to justify his actions.

“Go gather some firewood! Stay away from me!” Miao Ying shouted angrily. “My God! How could I have trusted in you?”

“Alright, alright, trust me to do this,” Zhao Yu begged, as he hurried off to gather some firewood.

Though the time was not even seven o’clock in the evening, the sky in the jungle had already turned dark. Both of them walked a long way, looking to find a conducive place to camp for the night.

Before setting off for the mountain, Miao Ying wanted to engage a local guide. However, Zhao Yu found ways to get rid of them. For instance, there was one time, when she had already booked a local guide, only to have him not work out, as Zhao Yu bribed him with two hundred dollars to stay away.

This was a good chance for Zhao Yu to get close to his goddess, Miao Ying. Therefore, how could he let anyone spoil it? Before entering the jungle, he claimed that he was an outdoor expert, and that there was no need to engage any local guide.

But, alas, once they entered the jungle, Zhao Yu could not even identify the north direction! Fortunately, Miao Ying had some experience outdoors, so they did not go off track.

In actual fact, Zhao Yu was just pretending to be bad at directions. The reason behind all his little, seemingly confused actions, was so that he could get close to his goddess, Miao Ying. Thus, the motivation to get closer to her made him create “problems” for them to resolve together.

Hey… Hey… Hey…

A tent, a sleeping bag, some condoms… All these seemed so obvious!

While Zhao Yu was gathering firewood, he hummed to the tune of “Zhu Ba Jie and his Wife”, and imagined sharing the tent with his goddess, Miao Ying, that night. After a long day’s journey, they came close to the region where the old experts experienced the flood, which was only about thirty to forty kilometers away.

From tomorrow onward, both of them would embark on the hunt for the Tomb robbers. Hence, tonight would be the only chance for Zhao Yu to get close to Miao Ying. Of course, he would not let go of such a good chance.

Though Zhao Yu had great plans for the night, he did not slacken the pace of his work. He deployed an enhanced version of the detector that could last ten days. This detector could detect anyone carrying electronic devices within close proximity.

“Pop….”

The firewood lit at just the right time, exactly as the sky turned dark.

Miao Ying waited for the tent to be ready, before she took out her outdoor cooking utensils to whip up an instant noodles meal. Perhaps this was because Miao Ying saw through Zhao Yu’s evil intentions.

“Wow! It smells so good…” The aroma reached the nose of Zhao Yu, making him feel hungry. “Captain Miao, care to cook a portion for me?”

“No way!” Miao Ying said firmly. “I have to keep some reserves for myself! Go eat the snacks that you brought. I can’t believe you only brought along such a little supply of necessary stuff…”

“Who said that I brought too little necessary stuff?!”

Zhao Yu reached over and grabbed his haversack, which contained two plastic bags. In one plastic bag were some sesame cookies, while the other contained a savory fried chicken wrapped in greaseproof paper!

“Come on! I am not as petty as you are. Here you go! Take this…” Zhao Yu tore off a chicken leg, handing it over to Miao Ying.

Miao Ying could not believe her eyes and said, “Zhao Yu, you are truly an outdoor expert! I surrender to you!”

“I am flattered! I am the renowned Master Zhao in the wilderness.” As he spoke, he reached into his back pocket, and took out another plastic bag. He added, “Here are some salted duck eggs, to go with the sesame cookies.”

Speechless!

Miao Ying wanted to throw the chicken leg right into the fire…

After their meal, they planned their journey and the scope of search for the next day. However, Zhao Yu felt restless. He was gazing right at Miao Ying’s beautiful face, as the glare of the fire lit up her every feature. His heart was beating so fast.

Zhao Yu had some courtship experience, and came up with an idea of how to get close to his goddess. He stood up and shook the dust off his clothes, then said, “Hey! Captain Miao, how about exchanging some martial arts moves before bedtime? I have forgotten the moves you taught me the last time. How about reviewing them with me?”

“Are you up to some evil intentions again?” Miao Ying questioned, as she stood up to display some martial arts moves.

The two of them ran through some of the past martial arts moves together, right by the burning firewood. As they were doing so, Zhao Yu hatched an evil plan. Things were going so smoothly, when he unexpectedly took a strong grip on Miao Ying’s shoulders, locking her in position.

“Hey! You!” Miao Ying struggled to free herself from Zhao Yu’s grip, but to no avail.

Zhao Yu’s plan worked. He pulled Miao Ying closer to him, cheek to cheek, and said, “Hey, Captain Miao, look at how powerful my move was. You are locked in your position. If I manage to kiss your face, you lose.”

“Zhao Yu! You are a jerk!” Miao Ying continued to struggle hard to break free, her face flushed red with embarrassment.