Back Then, I Adored You

As the little boy’s mother screamed for him to now move, the terrified child froze in the center of the road.

The driver finally noticed the boy and slammed frantically on his brakes while sounding his horn, but by that time the distance was too short, and the car continued steadily toward the boy.

The driver tossed his phone and continued to blare his horn, now pressing it continuously. Frowning slightly at the commotion, Gu Yusheng gradually turned his head toward the road.

As a soldier by nature, Gu Yusheng was not capable of not jumping into action under any circumstances. Even though the rapidly moving scene would appear hopeless to most witnesses, he parkoured over the railings that ran along the road, dashed with precision to where the boy stood, and shoved him out of the way of the car.

Landing flat on the ground from the push, the boy recovered from his shock when the pain set in, and he began loudly bawling.

Upon hearing the boy’s cries, Gu Yusheng, who had intuitively begun to jump out of the way of the speeding car, abruptly stopped.

He knew he had time to avoid the car, even if he would have to jump on it to control the impact and lessen the injury, but in that instant, with the boy wailing, he recalled how he had saved two boys last year when he had been on his way to meet little troublemaker at Pudong Airport.

Back then, it had been a matter of life or death, and the danger was imminent. But when he had thought of little troublemaker, who was still waiting for him at the airport, regardless of how hard it was, he had persevered his way through for many reasons.

He could not stand her up.

He could give up his life for anyone on Earth, but he would only strive to live for her.

Back then, although she was gone after he had survived, he could continue to live with the hope of finding her.

What about this time then? If I survive and she is no longer here…

After he had lost his dreams and his parents, that was the only future that he could envision, but now even that future was gone.

Dreams, family, love… In our lives, don’t we only yearn for these few things?

Now that Gu Yusheng had lost all of these, he struggled to find the point to continue living.

He reasoned that to think that what is scary in this world is not when we fail to fulfill our hopes but when we give up from despair and never harbor any hope for the future.

Instead of trudging into a dark and hopeless future, perhaps this should be it…

The little boy’s mother had already dashed up to him and was consoling and holding him in her arms, while the driver continued to blare the horn in desperation to get the man off the road.

Yet Gu Yusheng heard nothing but the last thought in his mind.

Perhaps this should be it…

He only realized in this moment that no individual is strong and impenetrable. A person may appear to be strong, but that is only because their Achilles heel has not been found.

He was afraid of love and yet he had the deepest, most memorable experience with it.

He had the strength to be well for her sake, but he ultimately could not find the courage to bear the fact that he had lost her. Neither did he have the energy to make do with someone else.

Therefore, this should be it. This should be it…

Gu Yusheng slowly closed his eyes and welcomed the oncoming impact of the car on his body…