Back Then, I Adored You

Before he reached her apartment, he could already see that her room was brightly lit. The warm yellow lighting gave off a comforting vibe.

His heart, which had been palpitating ceaselessly since the moment he had regained consciousness, gradually returned to its normal speed and he slowly calmed down.

Puffing on his cigarette, Gu Yusheng strode casually over to the foot of the building before coming to a stop. Leaning against a lamp post, he stared fixedly at her window but did not head upstairs.

On the first day I joined the army, I had visited her apartment and had leaned against a tree and stared at her window, just like what I’m doing now.

That night, I’d hoped, for whatever reason, that she would walk over and stand by the window. If I could have simply caught a glimpse of her even from afar that night I would have left with no regrets.

Even though he had stood there for the entire night and smoked more than a pack of cigarettes, she had never appeared in the window. With a sore throat and laryngitis, he had boarded the military plane the next morning, prepared to never see her again in his lifetime.

Only after joining the army had he eventually realized that he had overestimated himself and underestimated the influence she held over him.

He had pined for her fervently, to the point where he had tossed and turned in bed night after night, unable to sleep.

But what could I have done beyond thinking about her?

I was the one who had chosen to abandon her. How could I have sought her out again simply because I had regretted my actions?

At the bare minimum, I knew not to be shameless.

One day, When Gu Yusheng and Wu Hao were halfway through a video call, Wu Hao had answered a call from Xu Wennuan. If Gu Yusheng hadn’t accidentally overheard Xu Wennuan mention sadly to Wu Hao that “Xiao’ai had cried,” he probably would never have thought of writing to her.

Although it was an anonymous letter that nobody else would ever know about, he had struggled internally before making the decision to go through with it. After mailing the letter, he realized he actually had something to look forward to.

Having received her letter of reply, he had finally gotten a good night’s sleep, knowing that her letters were the only items in his possession that belonged to her. To him, they were his life and meant the world to him.

They had exchanged letters for three years, at which point she was already attending university while he had transitioned from a fresh recruit to a veteran who began to participate in high-risk military missions.

It was around this time when an earthquake had hit X City, and the casualty count had been high. On short notice, his unit had been assigned to be the rescue team.

Nobody knew that he had made a trip back to Beijing prior to the rescue mission. It was the first time that he had returned to Beijing since he had joined the troops, and it had been because of her.

He had been chatting on the phone with Wu Hao. As a man of few words, they gradually had run out of things to talk about but Wu Hao, who was always bringing up new topics, had casually brought her up. Probably because he had suddenly been reminded of her, Wu Hao had conveniently asked, “Brother Sheng, do you still remember Xiao’ai?”

Emotions had immediately begun swirling inside him like ocean currents but he had calmly replied, “Yes.” After a brief pause, he asked, “What’s up?”

“I heard from Nuannuan that Xiao’ai’s fortunes are probably going to soar soon. Some guy from a prestigious family at her university is madly in love with her. He even gave her the latest laptop model that costs thousands.”

While it is normal for a pretty girl to have suitors, hearing this had made Gu Yusheng’s heart ache until he heard Wu Hao add, “I heard from Nuannuan that Xiao’ai might have a thing with this guy. They had dinner together the day before…”